Lucy Morris (Phoebe Aldridge)
I really cannot understand how PPR (Phoebe, Pip and Rex, aka Rewilding Ambridge) managed to win the contest for Peggy’s £500k - I can only assume that they had professional help in drafting the business plan, as they demonstrated a lamentable lack of business acumen last week.
Brian tried hard to save them from themselves by warning Phoebe against signing the contract with Borsetshire Land. She, however, said that, whatever Brian thinks, rewilding is the main objective and, crucially, she never passed on Brian’s concerns to her two partners.
So it was that on Friday - the day of signing the contract - Brian turns up at Brookfield to try and persuade David to make PPR see sense. David is intrigued, as he said to Brian “We don’t often see you on the farm in a suit.” Never mind all that - Brian tells David that some of the clauses in the contract are extremely vague and open to various interpretations. For example, one clause says that PPR has to consult BL before making any decisions, plus David is appalled to learn that BL will take 75% of any profits.
The signing ceremony is being held at a bar/bistro in Borchester and PPR are excited at being served canapés and champagne. Perhaps they should have heard warning bells when Justin suggests that, as BL are putting up most of the land for rewilding, perhaps their name should feature more prominently in the name of the rewilding organisation. What did he have in mind instead of ’Rewilding Ambridge’? ’Borchester Land Rewilding’ would be good, he suggests and, when Pip expresses doubts, Justin says that they can discuss it later.
Justin uses the occasion to congratulate PPR on their vision and he pays tribute to Peggy (who is there) for putting up the Trust money. Photographs are being taken, when David bursts in and tells Pip that he needs to talk to her - now! He tells her what Brian said about the ‘bendable’ clauses in the contract and says that Phoebe knew about these because Brian had discussed them with her. “I should have read the agreement” an anguished David tells his daughter. I’m sorry? He should have read the agreement? What about Pip - shouldn’t she have cast her eyes over it? And why didn’t Rex pick up on the dodgy clauses? Pip is angry with Phoebe, telling her partner “How are we going to work together if we can’t trust each other?” Phoebe bursts into tears as David calls Justin ‘a snake’ and snarls angrily “You’ve been caught out - my daughter is not going to sign any contract.”
Justin laughs and says “She already has - I can give you a copy if you like.” David and Pip leave and, all in all, I think it could be said that the inaugural meeting of Rewilding Ambridge could have gone better. However, perhaps if PPR had read the title of this week’s blog, things could have turned out differently.
As it is, there could still be further consequences; when David was talking to Pip, it became obvious that he had been fed inside information (he knew about the profit share split and the dodgy clauses) and you don’t have to be Hercule Poirot to work out who the informant must have been. As Martyn Gibson asked Justin “Did I overhear that [the David/Pip/Justin conversation] correctly?” When Justin said “You did”, Martyn says “Naughty, naughty Brian.” Get ready to report to The Rack, Brian.
Over at Berrow Farm, there is a nasty outbreak of tail biting (among the pigs, I hasten to add) and Neil and Hannah are blaming each other. Neil tells Rex that he’s sure Hannah is bad-mouthing him to Justin and Rex says he should stand up for himself. Justin has called a meeting for the next day with Neil and Hannah to discuss tail biting and Neil has obviously taken Rex’s words to heart, as he is assertive and positive about the problem.
Why has it suddenly started? asks Justin. Neil says the only things that have changed are the introduction of a different cross breed and moving over to a cheaper feed mix. Either could have unsettled the pigs, Neil suggests (both were Hannah’s idea) and he recommends going back to the old feed mix. Hannah suggests buying in pigs with docked tails, but Neil is vehemently against this, as it reflects badly on the way the pigs are reared. Justin considers the situation and decides that Neil is right and they will go back to the old feed and there will be no docking.
When the meeting is over and Neil has gone, Hannah approaches Justin and says that, if he wants to explore any of her suggestions, she is available. Justin cuts her short by saying that they have had the meeting and he made his decision. “I know what you are doing Hannah - undermining Neil, and I won’t have it. I make the decisions and my decision is to trust Neil and his experience. I hope you will work with him on this.”
Yeah, right. If you look upwards, Justin, you might be able to see pigs with undocked tails swooping over Berrow Farm. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out that Hannah was actually doing the tail biting, just to blacken Neil’s reputation. She’s not really a person that I can warm to if I’m honest.
Let’s now turn our attention to thoughts of love. In last week’s blog, we bemoaned the fact that Lee has a girlfriend (Leanne) and it seemed that he and Helen would not get together. On Sunday, he turns up at Bridge Farm - he is confused and wonders what went wrong between them; he is looking for closure. Helen tells him all about Rob and his coercive behaviour and Lee says ‘thank you’ for telling him and he hopes they can still be friends. Impulsively, Helen kisses him and then apologises, whereupon he kisses her back. “What happens now?” she asks. “I don’t know, Helen, I don’t know” Lee replies.
What happens is that Lee phones Helen on Thursday and asks if he can tag along when she goes shopping. She agrees and, when they meet she asks what are they doing and is Leanne happy about it? Lee says he went to see Leanne and told her the truth, which is that he loves Helen and couldn’t stop thinking about her. The couple kiss and it looks as if things are looking up for Helen at last.
Is there romance in the air elsewhere? Also on Thursday, Tony visits Joy, bearing a gift of chrome polish for her MG Midget (this man knows the way to a woman’s heart). Joy prattles on about how she has invited daughter Rochelle and grandchildren for Christmas, while Tony polishes her car for her. Suddenly, Joy bursts into tears - she tells Tony that she is a liar; Rochelle and the kids are not coming for Christmas - nobody is. Tony asks why she lied. “Because I wanted you to think my family loved me” Joy replies, dolefully.
The oven pings and Joy says that she has made a beef casserole, but she gets depressed eating on her own. Tony, who has just said that he had better get going, replies that he loves beef casserole and polishing Madge (her car) has given him an appetite. The family won’t mind if he stays out a bit longer, he says, sitting down.
Unfortunately for Tony, he has forgotten that today is his and Pat’s wedding anniversary. “44 years” he says to Pat. “45 actually” she replies and hands him her present to him - a hand-made, sheepskin flying jacket. He is delighted, but tells Pat that his present is not so expensive. He’s right there, as he hasn’t bought her anything and you can’t get cheaper than that. Pat doesn’t mind - she’s sure that she can find something that he can buy for her, so run along and get changed. By the way, why was Tony out so late? He mutters some excuse about getting stuck at the garage, talking about cars and looking into bonnets. Never mind, Pat tells him - hurry up down as there is champagne and she has made Tony’s favourite; a hearty winter casserole. Just what he needs (again).
Robert Snell really is a woos. Having taken over as director of Ghost Stories in the Attic, he is terrified when he and Jim rehearse them. Even worse, Russ has found a sinister-looking waxwork, which Robert tells Lynda makes him uncomfortable; he swears the eyes follow him round the room. Lynda says (in a remarkably un-Lynda-like way) “In the words of Tracy Horrobin, grow a pair and pull yourself together.” Later that evening, Lynda asks Robert what he is doing. “I thought we could push the beds together tonight” her husband replies. Ha! In your dreams woos! Tuesday night ends with a startled (and presumably lonely) Robert crying out in alarm when he hears an owl hooting.
Speaking of Tracy, she came within an ace of getting the sack last week. Her lover (Roman, the actor) keeps ringing her up and doing impressions of actors. His Michael Caine is really good, but she tells him that his Sean Connery is rubbish. When the phone rings for a third time, she picks it up and replaces it immediately, much to Lynda’s consternation. Tracy says don’t worry; it’s only Roman messing about. Except that it isn’t - it’s Mr. McLeod, a regular customer from Scotland and Oliver had a very uncomfortable 45 minutes on the phone when he rang up to complain.
Oliver is very angry; he says that Tracy seems to perform well and then has a brainstorm that messes it all up. Lynda leaps to Tracy’s defence, saying that her work has been exemplary but Oliver is not so sure. Eventually he gives her one last chance and, as he walks away, he says “Don’t waste it.” Tracy is grateful to him and to Lynda, for her support. “If you were a cat, Tracy, I’d say this is life number nine” Lynda tells her.
David is upset with his siblings, who laugh when he tells them that Brookfield plans to increase its involvement in the marriage venue business. Kenton suggests that David doesn’t have the requisite people skills, while Elizabeth says that she will recommend Brookfield’s barn to those people who enquire about Lower Loxley and then realise that they cannot afford it. Jill asks him why is he so annoyed? “They think that Rooooth and I couldn’t organise a barn dance in a barn” he tells his mother, and he vows to prove them wrong. I’d stick to farming, if I were you, Dave.
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