Both Harrison and Fallon have an afternoon off but It seems that Fallon would like to spend her time with Vincent. Who is Vincent? Vincent is one half of Fallon’s entry for the scarecrow competition at the village fete and is modelled on Vincent Vega, John Travolta’s character in Reservoir Dogs. The other half? Mia Wallace the gangster’s wife, played by Uma Thurman in the film. Fallon’s not sure she’s got Vincent’s hair right so heads off to the village hall where the theatrical wigs are stored. I wonder what scene she’ll have them reenacting, the one where Mia overdoses on Heroin and Vincent injects adrenaline into her heart to restart it? No of course not, dancing the twist at Jack Rabbit Slim’s restaurant of course!
Someones been messing with The Bull’s scarecrow and it’s now leaning against the pub surrounded by empty wine bottles and apparently bears more than a passing resemblance to Alice. The real Alice is nowhere to be found. Brian and Jennifer thought she was in her room but her bed’s not been slept in and it doesn’t take long for the whole village to be out looking for her. Brian’s just about to start driving round the village when Jenny gets a message from her saying she’s ok and will be back soon.
The wine bottles will have to be cleared away from the scarecrow as to everyone’s surprise Alice is back in rehab, and she’s sent a short letter to Jennifer explaining how it happened. Apparently she turned up at Shula’s very upset and asked her to sell Banjo to help fund a return to rehab. It could take weeks to sell the horse so Shula advanced her the money. Jennifer’s very grateful and relieved as it looks like Alice’s battle with alcohol may have turned a corner.
Mystery still surrounds the identity of the celebrity guest who will be opening the fete and judge the scarecrow competition, but could it be the one who’s wandering around the village? One whom I would suspect would do rather well on the real Mastermind, and certainly wipe the floor with the competition on the celebrity version just as she did with the chair of Handforth parish council. The first person to encounter her is Tracy Horrobin who thinks she’s her old domestic science teacher but Jackie Weaver (for it is she) is gracious in her misunderstanding. Jackie’s looking for Usher and Tracy shows her where she is, all the time rubbishing everyone else’s scarecrows. Tracy, for what it’s worth, has made a Minion. Wikipedia’s description is “characterised by their childlike behaviour and unique language, which is almost intelligible at times” - that’s Minions not Tracy Horrobin.
But there’s trouble as well as tea brewing at the refreshment tent as Hilary Noakes and Audrey Fisher have raised an angry mob to protest against the scarecrow competition. Lynda wants a show of strength by raising a militia to dispel the protest but Usher is sent to negotiate terms instead, while Tracy distracts Jackie Weaver by taking her back home for a cuppa. Jackie see’s through the ruse so Tracy spills the beans about what’s really going on while Jackie listens intently. Usha’s mission is futile and just when all seems lost Jackie Weaver’s voice is heard over the loudspeakers.
After introducing herself she addresses the protesters and explains that her experience in local government matters tells her that they may be contravening various areas of legislation - blocking the public highway without first informing the police, carrying out activities that are outside the scope of the fete’s license, and finally she informs them that they have no authority - no authority at all! Once the protest has dispersed she eschews the offer of more tea in favour of a half of Shires.
In other news Adam’s been offered a farm manager job at Danforth Barton Farm, a 4,000 acre farm on the other side of Felpersham, the commute to and from which will play havoc with Zanda’s childcare. Ian Is very supportive but Adam’s worried out the effect on their marriage too. It’s Adam’s ideal job so they both agree to make it work. Adam gives Brian two week’s notice and he takes the news well and they both end up being philosophical about the 18 years they’ve spent working together. Jenny on the other hand is furious, not so much about Adam leaving but that it’s obviously been known about for ages and she hasn’t been kept in the loop about an important development. She’s determined to be fully involved in the selection of the new farm manager.
Over to Lower Loxley and there someone else is about to get furious. Elizabeth goes hat shopping for Steph’s wedding assisted by Lily, and Liz wonders whether she will soon be buying another hat for another wedding. Not yet, says Lily, although their relationship is going well and her and Russ are going away for the night (to Grey Gables!) which Lily will pay for out of her bonus that’s just come through. When Elizabeth Shows Vince the hat she’s chosen his reaction is not what she expected; “did you keep the receipt?” It’s not because he doesn’t like it, but Vince says that Steph’s put him in a difficult position by asking for Lizzie to be uninvited. The official excuse given by Vince is to keep the numbers down but Lily discloses that her and Russ have just had an invite and after talking to Steph there seems to be spare places.
Elizabeth asks Vince a straightforward question to which she expects a simple answer - who’s telling the truth about the wedding, Vince or his daughter Steph? The answer is that Steph was telling the truth and Vince lied because he found out that all three of his ex-wives and his estranged daughter will be at the wedding and none of them have a good word to say about him. He didn’t want Elizabeth exposed to all his dirty linen but knows he’s messed up and asks her to accompany him after all. Elizabeth accepts but makes it very clear that he’s messed up for the last time - there will be no more chances after this. She won’t be lied to again.
Lily and Russ turn up at Grey Gables for their night away but there’s been a mix-up and Roy’s allocated them a single room. He changes the booking but this time allocates them a room with twin beds. Roy’s not quite with it and so Tracy changes it this time to a double. Russ isn’t happy with the mix ups and is even less pleased when Tracy invites them round to her house for dinner. The time Tracy and Roman came round to Lower Loxley isn’t an evening he’s likely to forget, and just incase he does, Lily accepts the invitation. It’s turns out that Tracy has an ulterior motive as she wants to pick their brains about Chelsea and her poor exam results. This concern for her daughter’s education pricks Russ’ conscience and suddenly he’s happy to accept and his whole demeanour changes. I’m sure, like me, that you’re looking forward to the evening chez Tracy and Jazzer with great anticipation.
And finally, I know you can’t wait to find out who won the scarecrow competition. I was rather hoping that Jackie Weaver would make an innocent faux-pas and award the prize to The Bull, but no, it was Rex and Phoebe with their depiction of a family camping scene. How nice.
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