Ed and Jazzer are shearing sheep (at Home Farm, I believe) and finding it hot and thirsty work. During a much-needed break, Jazzer admits that he’s finding it hard going this year, and Ed teases him that he must be getting old. Later on, Jazzer tells Ed that he’s thinking of packing the shearing game in – now he’s got a girlfriend, perhaps it’s time he thought about settling down. Ed teases him again and Jazzer challenges him to a shearing contest tomorrow – first one to shear 50, wins a bottle of Sambuca. Come to think of it, I don’t think we were told who won.
Despite the banter, Ed is concerned – who can he get to replace Jazz? Jazzer suggests George and, while Ed says he would love to work with George, he doesn’t know if his nephew would be interested. True that he is studying an agricultural course, but does that mean that he would want to shear sheep?
Actually, it could all be academic, as a couple of days later, Jazzer is giving his motorbike a thorough service and is approached by Tracy, who says that she has always fancied a ride on a motorbike (please insert your own smutty joke) and why don’t the pair take a picnic and find a nice, secluded spot where they can enjoy themselves?
Jazzer is definitely up for this, and the pair take off. However, when they arrive at their idyllic destination, all is not sweetness and light; in fact, a blazing row ensues. Tracy, it would appear, is not really a genuine petrolhead, as she accuses Jazzer of trying to kill her and driving like a speed-crazed maniac. For his part, Jazzer asks why didn’t Tracy lean into the corners, as pillion passengers are supposed to do? He calls her a drama queen. Suffice it to say that any chance of romance (or even a quick bit of nookie) is out of the question, as they both agree that this has been the worst date ever.
But, just when you think things cannot get any worse, they do – Tracy tells Jazzer that there’s no way she is getting back on that bike, and it quickly becomes clear that neither is he, as it refuses to start, so his plan to go back to the main road and flag down somebody to give Tracy a lift is, like the motorbike, a non-starter. So Jazzer rings Eddie and asks if he can rescue them. Sadly, there appears to have been a lack of communication, as Eddie turns up in his limo, much to Tracy’s delight. But not to Jazzer’s – how is he going to get the bike into the limo? The short answer is he isn’t and what’s more, Eddie won’t take him either, as he’s covered in oil and Eddie’s seats are white leather. Eddie will take Tracy home and come back with the van to pick up the bike. And Jazzer.
Meanwhile, back in Ambridge, Mia is alarmed to see Ruairi with a pile of suitcases – surely he’s not leaving the village? No, he explains – he’s just moving in with Adam and Ian for a spell. Mia is relieved. Emma, who was with Mia when they came across Ruairi, notices Mia’s interest in Ruairi and asks if she has a crush on him? If so, Emma wouldn’t tell anyone – Mia can talk to her. After a bit of probing, Mia confesses that she is sweet on Ruairi and she thinks that he feels the same. Emma gently suggests that maybe Ruairi is just being kind, but Mia cannot accept this and says that it is more than just a crush; “I’m in love with Ruairi” she tells Emma.
Ruairi is attracting a lot of attention; Adam is watching apprehensively as the mountain of stuff that he is taking to Honeysuckle grows ever higher, but his grumbling is interrupted by Ian, who tells him that he accidentally heard Ruairi on the phone to his friend Troy and their conversation was – well, more than friendly; in fact it was flirty. Adam is stunned – how could he have missed noticing that Ruairi might be gay? He resolves to bring up the subject and let Ruairi know that they will support him, whatever.
It doesn’t take long, as at dinner that evening, Adam drops some unsubtle hints. Ruairi smiles; he knows that they must have overheard him and Troy talking, and he tells Adam and Ian that he’s not gay, but bisexual. Furthermore, Adam talking about how difficult he found it to come out doesn’t apply to Ruairi, as he has never been in the closet in the first place and, while he has never explicitly told Brian and Jenny of his sexuality, it’s not a secret among his friends. He also tells Adam that he and Ian helped pave the way for him and he thanks them for caring – it means a lot. “Well, you’re a lot more sorted than I was at 18” is Adam’s comment.
Perhaps it’s a good job that Mia wasn’t privy to this conversation. She contacts Ruairi and asks if he will show her round Home Farm so she can pursue her one-girl crusade against plastic pollution and waste in the agricultural sector. Sure, says Ruairi; how about now, as his school work is doing his head in. Mia jumps at the chance and, while they are walking the farm, they talk about Alice and her problems and Mia opens up about how she felt when her mum Nic died. Taking her courage in both hands, Mia tells Ruairi that he’s lovely.
Ruairi realises the way that this conversation is leading and he tells Mia that she is lovely too, but quickly adds that he doesn’t feel ‘that way’ about her. Mia recovers brilliantly and bluffs it out, saying of course; she didn’t mean anything else when she said ‘lovely’ – she’s just grateful that he is helping her with her project.
However, Mia’s dreams and hopes have been shattered and she is despondent. Even Will notices that there’s something amiss and, in that caring but heavy-handed way of his, he keeps asking her questions (‘are you all right?’, ‘do you want to talk?’) The answers in Mia’s case being ‘no’ and ‘no’ and she flees to her room. After a while, an apologetic Will goes to see her and the pair do talk.
“I didn’t know that having your heart broken could hurt this much” she tells her stepfather, after she has apologised for the rude way she treated him – she knows he was only concerned for her happiness. Will tells her that he knows what it’s like to have your heart broken, but sadly, it’s a part of growing up that almost everybody has to go through – he remembers when a girl he fancied at school got a new boyfriend; Will cried. “I was properly upset” he tells Mia. Mia thinks she will never get over it, but Will assures her that it will get better – he promises. “You just need to let the hurt happen and remember that the whole family loves you” he tells her. “I love them too,” she replies, and her mood lightens ever so slightly.
We come now to the continuing saga of Alice versus the bottle. Thus far, the bottle is way ahead on points and it looks like it was going for a KO this week. Alice returns home to Willow Cottage one evening, decidedly the worse for drink, as she struggles to find her door keys. And she is not alone, as she is accompanied by a young man, whose name, we learn later, is Calvin (although Alice has three goes at remembering it and fails miserably). Calvin and Alice got chatting in a pub and she invited him home for some company. Such is her influence, he is also as pissed as a newt, and the noise they are making wakes up Jennifer.
Jennifer says that she has a few things to say and Calvin says that maybe he ought to leave. Alice says no – he’s keeping her company. Jennifer gives it to him straight; her daughter is an alcoholic (Alice is scandalised) and not only that, she also has a husband and a baby daughter. “I didn’t know” mutters Calvin, to which Alice says “It doesn’t matter.” Calvin leaves, which must make him a contender for having the smallest-ever speaking part for an Archers character. “Oh Alice – in God’s name what were you thinking?” Jennifer asks in exasperation.
Enter Brian. What’s been going on? Jennifer starts to relate what has been happening, but Alice warns “Don’t get involved dad – it’s just mum over-reacting as usual.” Brian is bemused – what was his daughter up to? Alice replies that she just wanted some company – is that a crime?
Brian is still all at sea – if she wanted company, why not turn to Chris and Martha? When Alice asks why, he replies “Because they’re family.” “No they’re not – not any more; I don’t need them” Alice retorts. Brian tells her to stop, but she goes on, saying that she doesn’t need Chris, nor Martha; nor Brian and Jennifer, come to that. “As far as I’m concerned, you can all go to hell!” Alice shouts.
There is a long silence after this, broken by Brian saying to Alice that she cannot keep on ignoring them – she’s got to try because she and Chris love each other. He thinks back to when she and Chris got married – they thought seriously about taking that step. That’s right, Jenny chips in – surely she doesn’t want to throw away eleven years of marriage?
And it is now that Brian utters possibly the most thoughtless comment of his life, when he says “Think about your marriage vows.” There is a moment of silence, then Alice says, in a dangerous voice “Are you serious?” Brian continues and asks her if she wants to throw it all away - her marriage, her relationship with her child? “Did you?” Alice retorts, adding: “I don’t think you’re qualified to lecture anyone on marriage vows” and goes on to mention Siobhan and Ruairi. She calls Brian a hypocrite and says “My vows were the same as those you made to mum – the ones you broke when you knocked up another woman and had a baby with her. It’s true – I lie, I’m selfish and I drink too much; I’m just like you!” A chip off the old block, eh Brian? You must be so proud.
I like to end on a happy note, so let’s go back to the beginning of the week, where Lee is exhausted after looking after Henry and Jack, who seem to have spent all day on Lee’s newly-acquired drum kit. Helen is worried about the noise and invites neighbour Joy over for drinks and nibbles. Helen apologises profusely, but Joy is quite ok about it and says how nice it is to hear the youngsters enjoying themselves and not to worry about the noise and, yes, she will have another drink, thanks for asking. I think we should seriously test Joy’s neighbourliness and her tolerance – I am going to start a rumour that Jazzer is looking to sell his bagpipes and that Lee has expressed a keen interest. Let’s see how she likes that!
I found the scene between Adam, Ian and
ReplyDeleteRuairi very clunky. No criticism of the performers, the problem was in the writing. Almost as bad as the comments that we shoehorned in a few weeks ago to effect that Lilian had helped with the decoration of Honeysuckle Cottage. I guess this was so that when Adam and Ian later advised Lee on interior decor no one could say that crude stereotypes are being wheeled out. You had the sense of a paint colour chart being applied to carefully grade their degree of "gayness". Not so gay that they can do without interior design tips, but gay enough to advise a straight man. I found it excruciating. Adam remains a difficult character, mainly I think because he was "silent" for many years and so is underwritten. Again, no criticism of the performance but he must be a thankless character to act; humourless and pompous he always seems to be in a bate about something.