Tuesday, 22 June 2021

And Don’t Call Them ‘Dollies’, Joy

Jackie Lye (Joy Horville)

Over at Beechwood, Joy is babysitting while Helen and Lee take in a drive-in movie at Lower Loxley. As well as the film, one of the attractions is ‘woodland raised pulled pork’ on the Orangery menu, which both agree is delicious. Just hang on a minute here – ‘woodland raised’? – the pigs have only been at Lower Loxley for about a fortnight, during which time they have been slaughtered and butchered; I respectfully submit that there are punters who attended an evening at ‘Deck the Halls’ who have spent more time at Lower Loxley than Rex’s pigs. 


But never mind. Helen phones Joy to see how she is coping, and she says that the boys are having the time of their lives – Jack found some figures in a cupboard upstairs and the boys have had a great time, making up stories and playing with the dollies. Helen is horrified – the so-called ‘dollies’ are part of Lee’s collection of Marvel heroes, lovingly collected over many years and kept in pristine condition. Indeed, as we learn later, some of them have never been taken out of their boxes.


Well, they have now, and some of the boxes are worse for wear, so eager were the boys to get their hands on the figures. Joy suggests that Helen trawls the Internet, to see if she can replace the boxes. She does so, but is appalled to be quoted a price in excess of US$ 200 for one figure – as she points out to Joy, that particular figure they have is perfectly intact, and she is not going to pay $200 for a cardboard box.


It’s time to ‘fess up to Lee and the two women do it together. He is less than happy and it is now that we learn that some of the figures have never been removed from their boxes, when Lee remarks that Wolverine’s claws are soft plastic, and not the hard plastic that he had imagined. Helen points out that this is probably so as not to hurt the children who play with them. Lee is almost in a state of shock, and is not comforted when Joy tells him that “it’s only the boxes – the dollies are all OK.”


When Joy tells him how happy the boys were, playing with the figures, Lee (still holding Wolverine) realises that the figures were designed to be played with and says that “these things happen” and perhaps he can let Jack and Henry have access to some of the less-valuable figures. Lee ls obviously one of those people you see occasionally on programmes like Antiques Roadshow, who still have their boyhood toys in their original boxes. ‘Lucky them’ I always think, as, when I was younger, if a cousin – or an acquaintance – came to our house, and my toys were visible, my mother would see them playing with them, say to me ‘you don’t play with that very often, do you?’ and let them take my Sunbeam Alpine home.


Still, I’m not bitter (well, actually I am, but there is nothing to be done about it more than half a century later, so we’ll move on). Joy featured prominently last week, as Fallon recommended her to Lynda for the Fete committee. Lynda arranged for Joy to call round “for an interview” and was put out when Joy said “it’s hardly like running the Bank of England, is it?” Lynda’s sniff made it plain that she considers organising the Fete as much more complicated and definitely much more important.


However, Lynda might have met her match in Joy, as Joy relates how she started up a majorette troupe for her daughter and raised funds to provide batons, costumes and the like and, when these were stolen, Joy started from scratch and did the whole thing over again. Lynda says to Joy that she can come along to the next meeting and Lynda expects that Joy will be content to listen quietly and learn. Ha! In your dreams Mrs Snell, I reckon.


It’s a big week for Phoebe and Rex, who are ready to welcome their first camping families to the Rewilding project. They have made a conscious decision to start small. Roy visits the site and asks if there’s anything he can do to help. “We do know what we’re doing, dad” Phoebe replies, a trifle haughtily, so Roy goes off to work.


Phoebe and Rex congratulate themselves on being prepared, until Phoebe mentions the solar-powered lights for the loos – has Rex set them up? No – he thought that Phoebe was taking delivery of them first thing. Much arguing and a phone call later, it transpires that the firm did try to deliver the lights earlier, but because nobody was around, they took them away again. They cannot deliver again until tomorrow and Rex and Phoebe are terrified that their guests will be stumbling around in the dark, trying to find the loo – imagine how bad the reviews are going to be!


Where can they turn? Roy to the rescue! He calls in a few favours from his extensive list of contacts and before you know it, a solar generator is installed and lights are working. Roy says that he tells everybody about the Rewilding project and how proud he is of his clever daughter – proud too that she had the guts to start up her own business; something that he has never done. Father and daughter share a moment and a hug.


From family bonding, we move to the opposite end of the spectrum, with yet more friction and controversy at Home Farm - specifically between Brian and Adam (no change there, then). The trouble starts brewing on Monday, when Brian visits the office, where Adam is working late. Brian is going through the farm accounts, and he finds a puzzling discrepancy.


Brian is actually looking to see if it would be possible for him to take his share of the Farm’s profits earlier than planned, as Alice’s rehab is going to cost considerably more than he expected. However, looking at the figures, it seems that the machinery investment bank account is £5,000 lighter than it should be. Adam tells him to leave it and he will sort it out in the morning. But Brian is on the scent – the money went missing in March, which was when Alice was working in the office, and Brian is convinced that she is behind this. Again, Adam tries to persuade Brian to let it drop for the moment, but he is adamant; they cannot let her get away with taking the money. Finally, in exasperation, Adam blurts out “Alice didn’t take the money – I did.”


That was the end of Monday’s episode, so we weren’t privy to what went on after this announcement, but the next day, Adam is explaining the reasons for his actions to Lee. Why Lee, I couldn’t say – perhaps he’s the only person in Ambridge who won’t bit Adam’s head off – but the story told by Adam is that he needed the money to pay the electrician, whose bill for rewiring Honeysuckle Cottage was higher – considerably higher – than the estimate. As such, Adam ’borrowed’ £5 k as a short-term fix and hasn’t got round to repaying it yet. Lee’s advice is to repay the money asap and apologise to Brian – this will demonstrate that he wants to put things right and they can both move on. Adam’s way of thinking is to let Brian stew for a while, but Lee describes this as ‘unhelpful.’


Am I missing something here? Adam has – let’s not call a spade an manually-operated, earth-inverting, horticultural implement here – embezzled, stolen, purloined (choose your favourite description) and he is going to let Brian stew? If I were Brian, I’d be dialling 999 right now. Adam is upset that Brian practically called him a thief, but how else do you describe someone who takes money that’s not theirs? The point that he intended to return it is academic, surely?


As it turns out, Adam does get a personal loan from the bank and he tells Brian that he has paid the money back. Brian says “fine” and carries on repairing the bird-proof netting. Adam is nettled by his attitude and points out that Brian was looking at the accounts in the first place to see if he could get an advance on his profit share. Adam adds that he has said ‘sorry’ (which isn’t actually accurate). Brian’s reply is that he would only take money out of the business after telling the other partners, and not just help himself. 


I would also make the point that £5,000 is a considerable sum to just let slip your mind, but then again I’m not a farmer and I obviously don’t move in circles where such a sum of money is regarded as petty cash.


The conversation between the two men becomes increasingly acrimonious and Adam asks bitterly why does Brian treat him differently from his siblings? “How am I supposed to treat you when I can’t even trust you?” Brian replies. This is too much for Adam, who spits out “Trust? From the man who dumped another woman’s child on mum?” Brian ignores this and takes it as evidence that Adam feels threatened by Ruairi, plus Brian doesn’t think that he does treat Adam differently from the others.


Adam says that Ruairi is a smart kid, whom Adam loves, but farming for him is just something to occupy the time between school and university, whereas Adam has put his heart and soul into Home Farm. He accuses Brian of not listening to him, but Brian counters that he does listen; he just doesn’t always believe him. Adam is astounded – when it comes to believing his children, Alice has been lying to them all for years, yet Brian chooses not to believe Adam? “Alice is sick.” Brian says.


In reply, Adam says so is he – sick of being somewhere where he’s not wanted. “So why not leave?” asks Brian. He agrees that the current arrangement isn’t working for either of them, and the last thing Jennifer needs is further upset. Adam is aghast at the thought of leaving Home Farm, but Brian says that, if things continue as they are, he wants Adam out from under his feet: “If I’m going to support your mother and help Alice through the worst time in her life, I need a Farm Manager I can rely on, and it’s becoming increasingly clear that just isn’t you!”


And there the week ended. Will Adam leave? Where would he go? How thrilled would Ian be? I cannot help but think that, should Adam leave and it became known to Jennifer that this was the result of her husband’s attitude to Adam, then, if I were Brian, I wouldn’t get my goolies too close to any mangle when Jenny is around (in the unlikely event that Home Farm possesses such an implement). But that leaves us with the question who could possibly take over as Farm Manager? Hang on a sec – wasn’t there that guy who went to America? What was his name, now? It will come to me in a second – Rob…Rob Tich-something… no, sorry, it’s gone, I’m afraid…



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