Brian Does His Ostrich Impression

Charles Collingwood (Brian Aldridge)

It’s the day of Martha’s christening – or rather, her non-christening – and Chris has taken her back to Ambridge View, where he and his daughter will be staying for a few days. He has picked up some stuff from home and Dad Neil is wondering where he can store it. Chris is exhausted, but he is relieved that the story of Alice’s alcoholism is finally out in the open. Leaving Alice and taking Martha away was the only solution, he tells his parents.

Meanwhile, Brian is not one to pass up any opportunity and we find him steadily ploughing his way through the christening buffet, telling Jennifer that Fallon has really come up trumps – the spread is delicious and is she sure she doesn’t want something to eat? Jennifer is too distraught to think about food, or anything else for that matter, and wonders out loud if she ought to call Susan. Brian advises against it, saying that Chris and Alice obviously need time and space to sort themselves out. Jenny says that she has never seen Chris so angry and keeps banging on about ringing Susan.

Exasperated (presumably because he still has all the buffet to demolish), Brian says “For goodness’ sake; give the girl some space” and to take Jenny’s mind off things, he suggests a walk. He chivvies her along, but Jenny is mortified, because the news that Alice is an alcoholic is all round the village. Brian won’t hear of it – who is saying such things? “Emma Grundy, for one” says Jenny, but Brian pooh-poohs this, saying that, yes, Alice occasionally has one too many, but the christening is a celebration, after all – even he had a whisky on the morning of the christening. “You might as well say that I’m an alcoholic” he tells his wife.

Jennifer is not convinced and wonders if their daughter has been struggling more than they thought. Rubbish, Brian says – he has been working in the farm office with Alice for months and he’s never noticed anything wrong. In fact, one thing he does know is that Alice gets stronger when she is under pressure. He recalls that, when Alice and Chris got married in Las Vegas, Brian and Jennifer didn’t think it would ever last. “We doubted her once, so why doubt her now?” Jennifer agrees, adding “We must have faith in our girl.”

On the subject of drinking in the office, we know that Alice used to help herself liberally to her father’s alcohol stash, so how come he never noticed the rapidly-dwindling level of whisky in the bottle he keeps in the drawer? Did he think that the evaporation level was uncommonly high, or what? Whatever, it doesn’t say much for his powers of observation.

At Ambridge View, Chris is debating whether he should give up work? His parents try to dissuade him, although Neil is worried that Susan is taking on too much in the way of giving feeds, etc. and will wear herself out. Despite what Brian said to her, Jennifer goes round to see Susan and she is keen to help – should she take her granddaughter out for a walk? Chris is quite curt and says no – they’ve only just got her to go to sleep. It soon becomes clear that Jennifer does not have a clue as to the depth of her daughter’s addiction. Chris asks her bluntly exactly what has Alice told her is going on?

Jennifer replies that Alice said that she just needs a few days to recharge her batteries, then she and Chris can get back on track. Chris says that that is not going to happen and if Jennifer goes to see Alice, she will just be fed another pack of lies. What lies? Jennifer asks, totally mystified. Chris spells it out that his wife is an alcoholic and, when Jenny protests that no, no – she hardly drinks anything, Chris says that that is what she wants you to think. 

Personally, I think Chris did well not to beat Jenny’s head against the wall – especially when she says that Alice is Martha’s mother and the Carters have no right to try and break that bond. Chris replies that Alice does not want to see her daughter and, when Jenny protests, he goes on inexorably, saying that Alice has got exactly what she wanted – to be left alone to drink in peace. Go and see her if you have any doubts.

Jennifer is round there like a shot, hammering on the door. Alice eventually answers and her mother asks her if she’s drunk? Alice says “no”, but there are empty bottles strewn around and it is obvious that she has been sleeping on the couch. Asked about the rumours circulating in the village, Alice replies that Chris is blowing things out of proportion. Eventually, though, Alice has had enough and, when Jennifer tells her that she has to fight for Martha – fight Chris and Susan and Neil – Alice replies that Chris was the one who wanted children; she never did.

And now, Alice says (not very kindly) she really needs Jennifer to leave – now – so that she (Alice) can do what she is supposed to be doing, which is to get some rest. Jennifer is appalled at what she has heard and breaks down in tears, begging her daughter “Alice – please don’t do this!” Perhaps Alice should have continued telling lies as, when she is convinced of the truth, Jenny promptly moves in with her daughter to look after her. This makes Alice unhappy and Jenny press gangs Kate to look after Brian, which makes the two of them very unhappy, so, all in all, the entire family is miserable; and serve them right.

Actually, that’s not strictly true, as Ruairi is unaffected. It shows what Jenny thinks of the men in her life that she never told Kate to look after Ruairi, as she knows that he can take care of himself. Ruairi asks his stepmother if he should talk to Alice and he goes to see her. They talk about Martha and Alice’s feelings towards her – Alice says that Martha will be better off without her in her life, but her outlook is altered when Ruairi reminds her that he never really knew Siobhan (his mother) and tells her what it is like to grow up without a mother.

Their talk obviously has a positive effect as, after Ruairi has left, Alice tells Jennifer that she phoned her alcohol-dependence buddy Lisa and now she feels that she really needs to see Martha, if Chris is agreeable. She admits that she is an alcoholic, but she is determined to get sober again. Jennifer is overjoyed and tells her daughter that she has the whole family backing her and “many people recover from alcoholism and I’ll make sure that you are one of them.”

Before we leave the Aldridges, we should mention the confrontation between Brian and Emma Grundy. Emma has been slowly working herself up in a fury and tells Fallon that it’s no good – she is going to see Alice and let her know just how much harm she has done to everybody and how she is breaking Chris’s heart. 

Absolutely blazing mad, she bangs on Brian’s door and demands to see Alice. Brian says she’s not there and Emma goes off on one, slagging off Alice and telling Brian all the things his daughter has done – apart from the alcoholism, there were the incidents with Ed Grundy and Sgt. Burns. “Alice is a manipulative, destructive little cow!” Emma screams. “How dare you talk about my daughter like that?” Brian protests, but Emma is in full flow, saying that Alice would rather be drunk than to be with her husband and baby. “Absolute nonsense!” he blusters and then, when she tells him she didn’t realise that he was so gullible and he should open his eyes. “Get out of my sight!” he roars, to which she replies not to worry – she’s going. “I’ve never met a more stuck-up bunch of emotionally vacant losers in my life!” is her parting shot.

Kate, who is there visiting her father, slams the door on Emma, and there are signs that Brian’s confidence might be starting to waver, when he asks Kate if she thinks there might be some truth in what Emma was saying? Kate pours scorn on the very idea, saying that Emma “is like the mad dog that barks at everybody.” Brian takes heart from what his daughter has said and his self-confidence is soon restored to its usual Olympian levels.

We have spent a lot of time on the Aldridge/Carter situation, but other things have been happening in and around Ambridge. Elizabeth visited Joy in order to return the latter’s knickers, left behind at Lower Loxley after Joy posed for the life-drawing class, apparently without her realising why things felt a bit draughty on the journey home. The two women have a conversation about mental welfare and Joy was staggered to learn of Elizabeth’s earlier depression, while Lizzie sympathised with Joy’s stories of combating loneliness, to the extent that she agrees to stay for a cuppa, having originally turned the offer down. Oh yes, Lizzie also gave Joy a voucher for a drink and meal in the Orangery, as a ‘thank you’ for getting (and leaving) her kit off and saving the art class day.

Continuing the friendly theme, Josh and Rex meet at Hollowtree; Rex is leaving and Josh is planning the preparation for moving in his egg business. Josh gets a message – a big customer didn’t get Josh’s message that the egg delivery would be delayed and he needs the delivery this afternoon. Josh has to relieve Pip on the farm, so what can he do? Rex suggests that he could deliver them by taxi, but of course he would have to charge business rate fares (there and back). Also, there would be various other add-ons until Josh cottons on and asks if he has to pay a gullibility tax? Rex says no and the two men laugh. Rex eventually says that he will deliver the eggs as a favour and the two agree to meet for a beer in the near future. (Incidentally, are you aware that the word ‘gullible’ doesn’t appear in the dictionary?)

Rex moves his pigs into the woodland at Lower Loxley, and he is joined by Vince Casey as a spectator. The pair talk and get on very well, to the extent that Vince asks what can he do to help? Rex is grateful and they discuss the advantages of having ‘home-grown’ pork on the Orangery menu. As Vince puts it “800 yards from field to table is worth a few more £s per kilo.” Apparently this is important to customers, and Rex is intrigued – so much so that he invites Vince to join him and Elizabeth (and hopefully, one would think, the chef at Lower Loxley) in a tasting evening. It would appear that Vince isn’t the nasty piece of work that we thought, which means that he’ll probably turn out to be a modern-day Sweeney Todd – after all, most of us thought that Rob Titchener was an all-round nice guy when we first met him. I sincerely hope I’m wrong.