Angus Imrie (Josh Archer)
It was not a good week for Josh - on Sunday he is dragged into clearing out the yard (it looks like a building site, as Phil’s lads have been installing new toilets as part of the refurbishment of the barn as a wedding venue). “Shouldn’t Phil’s lot be doing this?” Josh moans, but David points out that it is Sunday. They need to get the place looking at least half respectable because Vince Casey is coming to talk about his daughter Stephanie’s forthcoming wedding.
Vince duly turns up the next day and is not wildly impressed by the ongoing works. He says that all he can see is “a draughty old shed, with no facilities, but if that’s what Stephanie wants…” Josh joins Vince, David and Rooooth and shows Vince the building plans, explaining what is going to happen. Vince notices a car arriving on the farm and he remarks that the occupants do not look like farmers. Indeed, they aren’t, (be honest Vince - it was the big lettering on the car, spelling ‘Police’ that gave it away, wasn’t it?) and they immediately arrest Josh on suspicion of dealing in stolen farm machinery and cart him off to the Police station.
David and Rooooth are, understandably, a tad upset by all this, and it gets worse when one of the police says that they will want to see paperwork relating to every item of equipment on the farm. David protests that this will take ages, to which he receives the answer ‘better get started then.’ He is also advised to get his son a lawyer and, by the way, don’t expect Josh home tonight.
In fact, Josh returns home early the next day. His parents didn’t know he was coming and immediately start questioning him as to what has been happening. He is tired and unhappy - he spent the night in the cells and didn’t sleep and now just wants to shower and rest. No chance Josh! His mother asks him straight out if he knew that the trailer was stolen and surely he has got receipts and records?
Josh is very close to breaking point and admits that sometimes he gets behind with the paperwork, which seems to consist of leaving sheets of paper around the place. Rooooth really goes off on one, saying that police have been swarming all over the farm and everyone in the village will know of this “all because of your stupid carelessness!” She goes further, telling her son that he has jeopardised their wedding business, as Vince is considering cancelling. Josh admits that he has messed up big time and he’ll have to wait and see if he will be charged. By this time, Josh is nearly in tears, but this doesn’t stop Rooooth still berating him for being a fool.
David suggests that, whatever happens, they’ll support him, but Rooooth is like a dog with a bone and tells Josh “this should be a lesson to you. We’ll help you, but you’ve got to try and help yourself.” A tearful Josh says he will try “but I’m scared - what if it’s too late?” I suppose Josh should think himself lucky that Rooooth didn’t just reply ‘well, that would be your own stupid fault, wouldn’t it?’
Mind you, in mitigation, Rooooth is pissed off because, when she went to the shop, Susan quizzed her about what the police were doing at the farm. Instead of saying ‘just give me the milk and mind your own business, you nosey cow’ Rooooth goes home and gives Josh a hard time.
The fallout continues, as Vince arrives at Brookfield to talk about the - assuming it still goes ahead - marriage of Stephanie. Josh approaches and wants to speak to Vince. He tells him that whatever happened with the police was down to him and the police are investigating him and not Brookfield, so please don’t cancel the Reception.
Vince is impressed by Josh’s honesty and says it took a lot of bottle to speak out as he did. Vince hands him his business card, plus another from “A hot-shot lawyer” who has got Vince out of a few scrapes in the past. Vince says that, should Josh need any advice, then give him a call. If so, I’d make sure you have a long spoon, Josh.
There was a surprise for Jim when daughter Fiona turned up, saying that she’d like to spend some time with her dad and can she stay for a few days? Over lunch with brother Alistair, Fiona admits that her recent holiday companion, Angie, could be ‘The One’ and she is very happy. Alistair, too, is happy for his sister and they talk about when, or indeed, if, she should come out to Jim.
As it turns out, Jim asks his daughter, on a trip out, whether Angie is just a friend or something more? Fiona tells her dad that Angie is her partner, but how did he know? Jim says that he does notice these things but “I nearly drove Alistair away and I didn’t want to do the same to you.” Fiona asks if Jim is ok with her being a lesbian and he asks “why shouldn’t I be?“ Jim reveals that he was aware that Fiona was a lesbian but he’s always been useless at things like this and the important thing is that she is happy. “I am, dad - very happy” his daughter tells Jim. Well, there’s certainly been a major change in attitudes in the Lloyd household in recent days.
The Bull v The B@Ambridge debate continues - apparently the Bull’s Burns’ Night Supper was a disaster, with few customers. Lilian is despondent, but Justin advises her to keep the faith - the Grundys cannot run an event every weekend and customers will soon realise that they need the pub.
Justin had to leave for a BL Board meeting, for which Neil was summoned. Pessimistically, he tells Susan that he expects to be sacked (if I may digress here, I would venture to suggest that ‘pessimistically’ would be default mode when living with Susan). It’s not as bad as that, as the Board quizzes Neil about recent events at Berrow. He is reluctant to criticise Hannah for recent happenings, but suggests that she lacks experience.
Later on, Justin asks Neil for a chat. Justin says that they are looking at “a major restructuring” at Berrow - they are planning to split the pig production with breeding pigs outdoors, then moving them indoors. Neil would be in charge of the outdoor operation, while Hannah oversees the indoor part. This would entail a slight salary reduction for Neil and a small increase for Hannah. What does Neil think? “It sounds a bit like a demotion” says Neil (well spotted, Neil) and he’d like to think it over. Justin says “We’d like to keep you Neil - it’s entirely your choice - the salary is still a good one. If I were you I’d give it some very careful consideration.” Or, to put it another way, you have been warned, Neil.
And now we have evidence that Gavin’s fiancée, Kelly, apparently isn’t the gold-digging money-grabber that we (ok - I) thought. Gavin (Phil’s son) tells his dad that they have decided to tone down their wedding plans and get married in Crete, rather than Bali. This, says Gavin, will save money, especially as Phil and Kirsty are planning a wedding as well.
Phil is grateful, but Kirsty feels a bit guilty (why for God’s sake - Gavin was touching his dad for £20k?) but she keeps quiet. At the end of the week, a distressed Gavin turns up, looking for his dad. Phil does arrive and Gavin tells him and Kirsty that Kelly has thrown him out - he shows Phil the ring that he says Kelly threw on the floor in front of him. “It’s over” he wails, “There’s no way back from this.”
In a shaky voice, he asks Philip if he can crash at his house for a few days - he has nowhere else to go. Philip tells him to go into the living room while he talks to Kirsty. “I know it’s a big ask…” Phil says, but Kirsty replies “If he’s got nowhere else to go - he’s in a state - his whole world has fallen apart. Tell him to get his bags - of course he can stay with us.”
Now, I hold no brief for Gavin, who could charitably be described as a sponging, inconsiderate parasite (on one of his better days, that is) but are we underestimating his depth of deviousness? Call me a cynic, but I’m wondering whether we are witnessing a cunning plan where Kelly and Gavin are tugging at Phil’s heartstrings (and taking advantage of Kirsty’s guilty feelings) in an attempt to get their Bali wedding back on track (and paid for). Is that too far-fetched? Am I being unfair? Am I over-estimating Gavin’s intelligence? I’d put a limit on how long Gavin can stay, if I were you, Kirsty.
Let’s now talk about Adam, Ian and Xander. The boys - inexplicably - let Kate take Xander to a trial baby yoga session. What are we talking here? Downward facing tot? Would you let Kate alone with your young son? Adam and Ian go to Grey Gables for a swim and lunch and, afterwards, they meet up with Kate. The session, she says, went very well, and the teacher was very good - in fact Kate has booked her for Spiritual Home.
Kate adds that she has also arranged for Xander’s naming ceremony, as she was sure that Adam and Ian wouldn’t get round to it. Adam worries that they could end up chanting mantras and beating drums under a full moon.
Kate hands over a plan which is full of pretentious garbage and, on seeing the look of horror on their faces, she admits that she was pulling their legs and she has a Plan B - a Humanist Celebrant, with a choice of music and the parental vows and promises. Adam and Ian are relieved, but Ian has one stipulation - they will need good food for the post-naming celebration and, much as it hurts Ian to admit it, the best food in the area comes from Hugh at Grey Gables. “So, let’s see what he’s really made of” Ian says.
By the way, we happen to know our own Humanist Naming Celebrant who offers these personalised celebrations. If you’d like to find out more about them check out your nearest Naming Celebrant here:
Please can we have that little toe rag Josh locked up for a few months, along with Elizabeths son Freddy they make a good pair. Always hard done by and never their fault. I hate these two characters and would jump for joy if they would found drowned in a slurry pit. Oh the joy of it.
ReplyDeleteSteady on, Anonymous! Whom would we have to shout at if Josh and Freddy were done to death? They're quite good value and it might be good fun were they to be taught a lesson.
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