Sunny Ormonde (Lilian Bellamy)
The renaming of The Bull (henceforth to be referred to as ‘The B@Ambridge’) appears to be polarising opinions - some of the villagers think it is the thin end of the wedge, barbarians at the gates, what things are coming to… and so on, while many cannot see what all the fuss is about and, frankly, couldn’t give a toss. Lynda Snell is definitely in the former camp, as she tells Lilian when the latter comes into the shop, carrying a poster advertising their Burns’ Night weekend. Among the attractions are haggis and neeps, a Scottish breakfast and (and I predict a less-popular event) Jazzer playing the bagpipes.
With a sniff, Lynda observes that Lilian has put ‘The B@Ambridge’ at the top of the poster - something that Lynda describes as ‘presumptuous’, as she, and, she claims, most other people in the village, are dead set against the idea. For her part, Lilian says she is fed up with all the moaning, but Lynda describes the decision to rename the hostelry as “undemocratic” and tells Lilian that she has started a petition.
Lilian says that Lynda hardly ever goes to the pub and, if she feels so strongly about the matter, why doesn’t she support the pub with her custom? That should keep the customers away in droves, if you ask me - imagine rocking up at the bar and finding Lynda there. “You haven’t heard the last of this” Lynda tells Lilian, as the latter leaves.
And Lynda is absolutely right, as she later seeks out Lilian to bend her ear. The pub, says Lynda, is the lifeblood of the village, to which Lilian retorts that they are only changing the name, for heaven’s sake, but Lynda is in full flow by now and witters on about how important it is to value history and tradition. Lilian is getting pretty teed off and challenges Lynda to produce the petition. This she doesn’t do, but warns Lilian that she would be surprised at some of the names on it and she might be in danger of losing some of the loyal customers that she says she values so much. She “would be foolish to ignore the petition.”
Lilian has had enough by now and says “You just can’t resist meddling in other people’s affairs, can you?” She goes on to call Lynda “sad and bitter, just because the Christmas show got along perfectly well without you” and that Jim got all the applause. “People like you have been holding back the village for years with your petty regulations and nimby attitudes - we are changing the name whether you like it or not.” Well said Lilian - you are spot on in my opinion, as this week’s blog title suggests.
Talking of the name change, Lilian is a bit apprehensive about informing Peggy of their intention and, when the couple meet, Lilian gabbles on until Peggy says “Lilian, please let me speak.” Peggy goes on to say that she understands that things sometimes have to move on and she’s sure that Lilian, Jolene and Kenton have made what they think is the correct decision. Lilian is somewhat taken aback and tells Peggy that she realises that she should never underestimate her mother.
Perhaps she shouldn’t underestimate Lynda either - speaking before her run-in with Lynda, and after her conversation with Peggy, Lilian tells Justin what Peggy said. He praised Peggy’s attitude and advised Lilian to stick to her guns; “This issue will disappear” he tells her. Hmm - we can only wait and see.
Over at Greenacres, the builders have returned to work (presumably Jim has been bound hand and foot and locked away). Actually, he wanders the village and, when Shula comes into the shop, he asks if she’d like a coffee at the Tea Room. The pair talk and Jim is unusually sympathetic, asking about Shula’s Ordination process. She admits that she is worried about having to give a presentation to a panel of clerics, but Jim says he is sure that she will cope and Shula replies that it has really helped to talk to him. Jim is reflective, saying: “Confronting one’s fears is sometimes the only way to move on, so if that’s what it takes, so be it.”
Later in the week, Alistair and Jim are talking and Jim warns his son that he is not going to change his mind about going to Harold’s funeral, plus he is looking at B&Bs in the area, as it’s too far for a return day trip. Alistair says that he has no intention of trying to change Jim’s mind, but he suggests that Jim starts looking for accommodation for three people, as he and Jazzer want to accompany Jim on his visit - Jim has had more than enough of facing this situation “So from now on, you’ll have me and Jazzer on your side.” I was expecting arch-pedant Jim to correct him by saying ‘you mean Jazzer and I’ but he is deeply touched, telling his son “You don’t know how much that means to me. I really wasn’t expecting it…I’d really appreciate the company.”
Kirsty was centre stage in a number of last week’s episodes - she wanted her mother to be the first to know about her engagement, but no chance in Ambridge (I wouldn’t be surprised if Philip had spelt it out in Christmas lights) and Kirsty and mother Megan had a cosy lunch at the Orangery. Megan spent most of the meal bad-mouthing Tom, which some might say shows good character judgement.
Before we talk further about Kirsty, we should mention Tom - he heard about Kirsty’s engagement and went round to see her, bearing a congratulatory bottle of champagne. The house is full of cards and flowers and Tom apologises for all he put Kirsty through. “We’re different people now” she tells him and the patronising git says “Don’t ever stop looking after one another”, which is pretty rich, coming from a prospective groom who abandoned his fiancée at the altar.
But back to Kirsty. The builders are in at Greenacres and Alistair asks Kirsty if he can use her and Phil’s bath (no water at Greenacres). He emerges from the en-suite, to find Phil’s son Gavin, hunting through a wardrobe. Gavin’s story is that he had been asked by Philip to look at something on his dad’s laptop and he makes various snide remarks to Kirsty about “your lover boy.” “Naughty, naughty Kirsty” the nasty git continues. Enraged, Kirsty tells him to sling his hook - why didn’t she ask him to give back the key that he used to get into the house? I don’t wish him any harm, but I hope his plans for a wedding in Bali go nads up before money changes hands. Re-reading that, I suppose it could be argued that I do, in fact wish him harm. So be it; the slimy nematode deserves it.
It is time to talk about Kate (he said, with heavy heart). In our last blog, we related how she persuaded (‘bullied’ and ‘conned’ are such pejorative words, aren’t they?) Oliver into booking the entire staff of Grey Gables into Spiritual Home for a team-bonding exercise. The reason is the increasing bad feeling among the staff, caused by the blackjack gambling frenzy in the G-G staff room, which has resulted in sums of money being won and lost and much bad feeling, leading to members of staff refusing to share shifts with certain colleagues.
Ignoring the question ’How do they give all the staff the same day off?’ we arrive at the fateful day. Freddie arrives early and is given a flea in his ear by Kate, who doesn’t want him there because he gave drugs to her daughter Noluthando. Freddie replies that his boss, Oliver, told him he had to be there - Kate says she will take the matter up with Oliver when he arrives, but it turns out that Freddie is required to take part, so he stays.
The others arrive, and the first ones are Lynda and Tracy, arguing about the Bull name change. Others turn up later and there is much bickering. Kate bangs on about how she has identified a lot of negativity at Grey Gables and letting go of this is an integral part of today’s activities. By the way, I feel constrained to warn readers that those who don’t like pretension, jargon and garbage should stop reading now.
Still here? Good for you. The team-building day starts as a disaster and soon gets worse. Everybody is bickering and Freddie remarks to Kate “I reckon you’ve got your work cut out today.” Kate tells the participants about the purpose of today’s team-building; at the end of the day “your energies will have been re-calibrated into an harmonious whole” (I did warn you about pretension).
Everyone is cold, bored, angry and totally pissed-off. It’s time for lunch, which is a wholesome lentil bake with steamed vegetables or salad - just what you need when it’s freezing. Everyone agrees that they have had a totally miserable day and, when Kate reads out the comments that the participants had made about each other (supposedly anonymously) there is a general revolt among the attendees. Some of them mutter about the injuries they have received and Kate is concerned when there are mutterings about suing for these.
In the end, Kate is extremely lucky, when, at the end of the day, Lynda comes to her rescue by saying that Kate has, in fact, been very clever because she has unified the staff by turning them against Kate; yeah, right. The others buy all this guff, but Kate redeems herself by keeping Freddie back after everybody has gone (quickly) home and telling him that she realises that, referring to the incident of Noluthando and the drugs, Nollie was as much to blame as Freddie. Freddie was touched because she’s forgiven him.
Finally, David and Rooooth are on their way to a wedding Fayre, to promote Brookfield as a reception venue. They are delayed when their sheep break out of the field. Having rounded them up and got very muddy, they arrive 40 minutes late and realise that they have left their smart clothes at home. Very few people are visiting their stand, so Rooooth strikes out and accosts a number of people, handing out leaflets.
This leads to a positive result, when, a few days later, Stephanie comes to Brookfield to case the joint for her forthcoming wedding. She falls in love with the barn and says it’s ideal, plus she’s sure that David and Rooooth will give her father a good deal, as he knows them. His name is Vince Casey, of Casey Meats. David is incensed, having been shafted by Vince a while ago. Sorry Stephanie, but yours could be the first wedding reception where the yard has just been liberally sprayed with slurry and where people are seated on piles of cow dung. Bring your wellies, Stephanie.
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