Now I Have My Suspicions About Tim

Tim Oatey (Carl Prekopp)

I think I’m becoming paranoid; last week’s blog was entitled I think Russ is up to somethingand this week the finger of suspicion is pointing at Tim Oatey. You know Tim - he’s the one who keeps giving Ed some much-needed work (and money) doing odd jobs. He also managed to procure a van for Eddie at short notice for £200 when Eddie’s current vehicle gave up the ghost.

This first aroused my suspicions - from where did he manage to procure the vehicle and how come it was so cheap? Did it come with a key, or was it hot-wired? Anyway, on Thursday, Ed took the afternoon off from working at Home Farm to help Tim repair a fence. Ed has been having a whinge about Adam, who is continually checking on Ed’s work and really getting on his nerves, when Tim gets a message on his phone. He isn’t pleased and tells Ed that he’s got to go, muttering something about cows getting out and he‘ll be away about an hour.

As it turns out, he’s away for three hours and Ed asks if the cows are ok? “Cows?” says Tim, nonplussed, then he recalls what he said and adds that one injured itself and needed the vet. He quickly changes the subject and heaps praise on Ed for the amount, and quality, of the work he has done during Tim’s absence. As I said earlier, it could just be my paranoia, but then again, maybe Tim has a secret. If so, I hope it’s not something that is going to adversely affect Ed, nor his chances of getting one of the Beechwood houses, as he is due a bit of good fortune. We’ll keep an eye on Tim.

Let’s turn to love’s young dream - Natasha and Tom. It seems the honeymoon may be over, as the pair have their first serious disagreement. She rings Tom up and asks him to look through her post, as she is up against a deadline with HMRC. Tom finds what she wants but he also notices a credit card bill - she owes £8k. Tom is appalled, but Natasha says that everybody does it and it is all about projecting the right image in business and he shouldn’t worry.

Tom, however, takes after his dad when it comes to money (i.e., you’d need a spanner to get money out of him, which is why the new £1 coin has so many sides) and he is horrified to discover two more credit card and store card bills. Altogether, Natasha’s debts amount to the thick end of £15k. You may wonder what Tom is doing looking through his wife’s mail, but he explains to her that he was looking for the charger that he lent her a few days earlier. Natasha might be forgiven for saying that he’s not likely to find it in an envelope, but once again she tells him to chill and not to worry.

Tom is suddenly affected by ‘I’m the man of the house’ syndrome and lectures his wife on being more frugal. “No more fripperies - you are mired in debt” he tells Natasha in his best Victorian manner. Voices are raised and Tom says that, carrying this amount of debt means that renting the house in Penny Hassett would be unsustainable and as such he has contacted the agent and cancelled the deal. As an economy measure, this is not a brilliant move, as it means they lose the deposit of several hundred Pounds.

Next day Tom takes Natasha a coffee and asks if he’s forgiven. “I can’t stay mad at you for more than ten minutes - I love you.” she tells him. Come on woman - at least you can try. Go and see an anger management expert, or give me a call - either of us will show you how to stay angry at Tom; it’s easy once you know how.

Tom is certainly pushing his luck, as he tells Natasha that they should consider taking the flat over the shop - at least they would be on their own. Natasha isn’t keen, citing the landlady from hell (Hazel Woolley), delivery lorries turning up early in the morning and “Radio Carter broadcasting our every move.” Tom replies “Susan’s not that bad”, which would seem to indicate that he is either very stupid or has not been taking any notice of village affairs for the past decade or so, “We can make this work” Tom says, earnestly.

Earlier in the week, Tom and Natasha pitch their idea whereby people can order veg boxes and Bridge Farm products online. ‘The farmers’ market on your phone’ as they describe it. They have commissioned a studio to come up with the design for the app and the website. They plan to roll out the app to other organic farmers and hope to make it a national brand, with farmers paying them a commission on every item sold. “As long as you don’t charge Bridge Farm” Tony jokes.

Tom and Natasha look at each other and explain that the idea is a stand-alone enterprise, which he and Natasha are funding themselves. As such, it seems only fitting that they get something in return. Tony and Pat are stunned initially and can’t get their heads round this. What about Helen - after all, the Bridge Farm shop is her baby? We learn later that Helen, who is still moping over breaking up with Lee, has no problem with the idea. Even Tony is moving onside, reminding Pat that Tom and Natasha would only be taking commission on extra sales generated via the website and, after all, Natasha is Tom’s wife now. Pat remains unconvinced and seems worried that suddenly no-one will physically go to the shop and everybody will be ordering goods online. Come on Pat, this is Ambridge we’re talking about here, so how likely is it that this will happen any time soon. Or any time ever, come to that.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Pip killed Toby before long - he tells Tom and Natasha that he is living at Rickyard now and other people are noticing that he seems to be around there a lot. Shula and Jill discuss it and Jill admits that she has no idea what’s going on. However, her day is made on Sunday when she has the whole family, including Pip, Toby and Rosie, over for lunch. To pause here, I wonder if Jill has ever cooked a Sunday lunch just for those who actually live at Brookfield - usually it’s like a soup kitchen for the not-so-badly-off. She’s at it again last week, saying that she’d like all the children and grandchildren for lunch on Mothers’ Day. Shula points out that Jolene and Kenton are unlikely to have the time and, when they tried a similar thing at Christmas, it was not a success, with Russ being teased unmercifully by Josh.

So, on Sunday, the Archer family members are forming an orderly queue at Brookfield’s door and, while chatting, Toby lets slip the fact that they have been discussing a christening for Rosie. Pip tries to put a brake on things by saying that nothing has been decided yet, but Jill has fixated on the word ‘christening’. “It’s a family tradition” she tells her granddaughter. Actually, baptism is slightly wider than an Archer family tradition, Jill, but we’ll let that pass. Pip says that she doesn’t even go to church and she and Toby aren’t married, but Jill (and Shula, which I found surprising) say that that’s not important. Pip still doesn’t feel comfortable about it.

Back at Rickyard later, Pip takes Toby to task and tells him that Jill won’t be happy to learn that Rosie’s third forename is Grace, to which he says that surely she won’t mind. “OK, you tell her” Pip replies. Toby seems really keen on the christening and keeps bringing up the subject of Godparents. When he and Pip (and Rosie) go to see Alan to discuss things, Alan is also relaxed about the lack of a marriage licence and not going to church. The only important thing, he says, is that the Godparents have been baptised. Rex and Lily are in the frame at the moment and both qualify.

A day or so later, Toby calls in at Brookfield to have a word with Jill, but she answers a phone call from Carol. Leonard tells Toby that she will probably be hours on the phone and he reveals that Jill has invited him to the christening, as she regards him as past of the family. Toby is intrigued and asks Leonard how has he charmed his way into the Archer clan. Says Toby: “I’m the father and I’m lucky to be invited.” Toby leaves without talking to Jill - better get your finger out Toby, as I suspect that, if the first that Jill knows about the Grace name is when Alan christens Rosie, then St Stephens might well experience a scream and perhaps a word or two that you don’t often hear inside a church. Whatever, the baptism will happen.

Alistair has a meeting with Doug, one of the partners of Lovell James, and he soon realises that things are not going to be as easy as he thought. Doug says that, as well as being good vets, L-J employees are expected to work towards the financial well-being of the company. Or, to put it another way, Alistair should push the company’s pre-payment plans to customers. Alistair isn’t happy, but he’s sold out now. Oh yes, Doug also tells him that he will undergo an annual appraisal and he (Doug) will be keeping an eye on him.

Friday was a big day at Lower Loxley, as it was the day that Freddie is being released from prison. Lily is driving Elizabeth to meet him and Lizzie is excited, saying “My boy’s coming home!” Lily is worried because her mother seems to think that they will just be able to pick up where they left off before Freddie was banged up, but Lily is convinced that prison will have changed Freddie and it won’t be as easy as Lizzie thinks. Incidentally, when Jill is discussing Freddie’s imminent release with Leonard, she - inevitably - suggests a large family lunch at Brookfield. Leonard says that perhaps Freddie wouldn’t want a large gathering. “Just an afternoon tea, then?” Jill answers.

While Liz and Lily are away, Russ roams the village, sketching. He tells Jolene “It’s Frexit day today” (I bet the writers jumped with glee when they realised that Freddie’s release coincided with the day when the UK was supposed to leave the EU). Jolene says that, as far as she’s concerned, Freddie has done his time and that’s an end to it “But some in the village will brand him as a wrong ‘un.” I would just advise Elizabeth to count her anti-depressants very carefully, just in case Fred returns to his old, drug-dealing ways.

Meanwhile, Freddie emerges from the prison and hugs his mother and twin, saying how good it is to breathe fresh air again. He notices that Lily has brought the car that he and she share and he asks to be allowed to drive. Lily throws him the keys and he says gleefully “Buckle up ladies - prepare for the ride of your life!”

Now, I don’t wish Freddie any ill-will, but wouldn’t it be ironic if he got stopped for speeding, or if the police officer said “I’m sorry, Mr Pargetter, but according to our records, you do not appear to have renewed your car insurance…”