Be Honest - Would You Give Kate A Home?

Perdita Avery (Kate Madikane)

Kate has been ousted from the Dower House and is looking for somewhere to live. A conversation with daughter Phoebe gives her an idea for a cunning plan - Phoebe says that she is taking Peggy shopping that afternoon, but Kate leaps in, saying that Phoebe should be getting on with her studying for her finals and that she (Kate) will take Peggy.

Things do not start well when Peggy tells her to slow down, as she’d like to get to the supermarket in one piece. On the way, Kate tells Peggy that she went to see Chris earlier and then she was Skyping Noluthando, who suggested that Peggy might ask Kate to move into the Lodge with her. Peggy may be in her 90s, but she’s nobody’s fool and just says “oh good, we’ve arrived”. Kate makes another error when she suggests that Peggy rides one of the electric wheelchairs to allow them to get round quicker and Peggy replies - rather waspishly - that if Kate hasn’t the patience to go round the shop at Peggy’s own pace, then she should have let Phoebe take her shopping.

The pair have a cream tea together and Peggy dismays her granddaughter by saying that this could be just the boost Kate needs to get a home of her own. Kate also admits that she lied to Peggy - she didn’t actually visit Chris and Nolly didn’t suggest that Kate and Peg lived together. However, Kate doesn’t see that lying is such a big deal, and she’s sure that Nolly would have suggested living together if Kate had actually Skyped her. Peggy says “no” firmly and, twisting the knife, tells Kate to get the bill while Peggy goes to the Ladies.

Kate responds in her usual fashion, by going awol for a couple of days and, astonishingly, this causes worry for Jen, Peggy and Phoebe. Why? Out of sight, out of mind, I say. Kate misses a Home Farm partnership meeting, much to Adam’s annoyance, as he wanted to pitch his Aquaponics idea (which essentially seems to be growing salad crops in water, in which fish are swimming) to the rest of the family.

Next day, Adam comes across Kate - I believe in the farm office - where she is wearing a face mask, eating chocolates that Ian gave Adam for Valentine’s Day and drinking scotch that she found in Brian’s desk. She is totally unrepentant about the chocolates and more than a little pissed and Adam drags her off to help him check on the ewes. Because she missed the meeting, Adam tells her all about Aquaponics and isn’t pleased when she rubbishes the idea. “Even Brian found something positive to say” he says, peevishly. He then asks her if her face is supposed to be that colour and, horrified, Kate realises that she should only have had the face mask on for half an hour. As she is frantically scrubbing her face and feeling angry with the world in general and sorry for herself in particular, Adam tells her that she’s a grown woman (physically, maybe) and not a stray puppy. Also, perhaps she should ask herself why nobody is keen to help her. Well said, Adam, but then he goes and spoils it by saying that she can stay at Honeysuckle Cottage for a few days while Ian is in Bulgaria, visiting Lexi. You wuss, Adam.

Peggy is also having second thoughts and goes to see Kate, saying that she may have been hasty - maybe they can come to some arrangement. Kate is ecstatic, but her delight is tempered somewhat when Peggy says let’s talk about conditions. “Conditions?” Kate asks, in a voice heavy with suspicion.

Peggy says that her offer would be for Kate to have a room in her home - not treat the place like an hotel. Also, the pair would eat meals together, with no sloping off by Kate to eat in her room (who knew that Peggy was a masochist?). Kate would also have to do her own housekeeping. But the main worry for Peggy is the attitude between Kate and Alice and she’d like to see a rapprochement. Kate says no way - Alice blames her for the loss of the farmhouse and says that she’d rather clean out Hilda’s cat litter tray. Peggy says that that’s a shame - the deal’s off. Alarmed, Kate says that, if Alice says something nice to her, Kate will regard what’s happened as water under the bridge. “It’s a start, perhaps” Peggy concedes.

There is more - Peggy reminds Kate of her offer to clean out Hilda’s litter tray and talks about rent. Kate protests that Spiritual Home isn’t doing very well at the moment, but Peggy magnanimously says that she will accept half rent until things get better. Kate picks up Hilda Ogden, who doesn’t lacerate her and who purrs. Peggy remarks on this and Kate describes Hilda and her as “kindred spirits”, which is yet another thing to hold against Kate. I reckon you might rue this day, Peggy.

Let us turn now to Susan, or ‘skate mouth’ as she is known in these parts. First her good side - she recognises that Mia is worried about something (she has just started her periods) and Susan gets Emma to go and have a talk with her about it. Emma does so and does a really good job, putting Mia’s mind at ease and showing her the kind of products that she might need. Emma also underlines the importance of chocolate to women at this time of the month - something which cheers Mia up considerably. Mia says how much she misses Nic, upon which Emma solemnly promises that she will always be there for Mia and Poppy.

Now to Susan’s less attractive side. Natasha goes for a wander round the village and ends up in the shop, where Susan is serving. After a few sycophantic comments about the wedding, Susan says how nice it must be for Bridge Farm to have some good news after what happened between Helen and Rob. Natasha is mystified and Susan says that surely she’s heard about what happened? The answer is obviously ‘no’, so Susan, instead of suggesting that Natasha asks Tom, proceeds to tell her the whole story. Earlier, Susan had told Natasha that the shop was “the hub of our little community” and, if Natasha wants to know anything about what’s going on, she should ask Susan, who describes herself as “CIA - Central Intelligence Ambridge.” Normally, I am dead against TLAs (three letter acronyms) but I’m sure our readers could come up with something more apt for CIA (keep them clean, please).

It hasn’t taken long for Natasha and Tom to have a disagreement - they are opening wedding presents and they have two sets of knives. Never mind, says Tom, Helen has said that they can leave presents with her, as there’s no room at No. 1 The Green. Natasha wonders whether this might be a tad insensitive given Helen’s history and tells him about her experience with Susan. Tom suggests that Natasha was ferreting around for gossip about the Archer family - an accusation that she vehemently denies.

Talking of Tom’s insensitivity, he tells Helen that he and Natasha have been discussing the future and it makes sense if they build a bungalow on the farm somewhere. Not for him and Natasha - they would move into the farmhouse and Pat and Tony would occupy the bungalow. Natasha points out that this takes no account of where Helen and the boys would live and it makes her look bad, as she will be classed as the bad guy in all this - hardly out of her wedding dress and taking over the family home. Tom protests that he was only thinking out loud - no Tom, you weren’t thinking at all, mate.

This happened again when Will turns up at No. 1 The Green, to find Hannah amidst a sea of wedding presents. In answer to Will’s question, she confirms that yes, Natasha has moved in. Will (who owns No. 1) dryly remarks that it would have been nice to have been informed and goes on to tell Hannah that he is sorry, but it looks as though the tenancy will have to end in the summer, anyway, as when Ed and Emma move out of Grange Farm, Eddie, Clarrie and Joe will be “looking for something more manageable” (ie cheaper). Hannah agrees to tell the others and adds “I’m feeling the need to move on myself, if I’m honest.” You have to hand it to Tom - everyone he gets involved with seems to end up damaged in some way, which bodes ill for Natasha if she isn’t careful.

Jolene’s singing appearance at The Bull goes down a storm, with Richard Thwaite sitting smack in the middle of the front row, with his tongue hanging out from all accounts. I thought Sabrina Thwaite was the local glamour girl, so why’s he lusting after Jolene?

At Lower Loxley, Lily feels rejected when her mother refuses to go for a walk with her, but is later spotted out walking with Russ. Lily is frustrated by Elizabeth’s apparent lack of progress, but Russ suggests that perhaps she is expecting too much and Elizabeth is improving, but at her own pace. Whatever, Lily is dissatisfied and Rex suggests that she takes on a job - he knows some people who work in a tele-marketing set-up (“you mean a call centre?” Lily says) and he could put in a good word for her. She agrees. Failing that, Lily, there’s always Lexi’s old job at the chicken factory.

We turn now to Brookfield, where David and Rooooth are sorting out the ewes for lambing. David manages to catch his finger in a ewe’s fleece and dislocates his finger, entailing a lift to A&E from Rooooth (she missed the farm partnership meeting too - expect a call from Adam to discuss Aquaponics, Rooooth) and Pip being woken up to take over lambing. Now, David has form in this - when Rooooth was away in New Zealand, finding herself, he broke his arm. Is this a cunning ploy to get time off when the going gets busy? Perhaps Brookfield should employ its own Paramedic.

The relationship between Helen and Lee hit a new low last week. Lee eventually managed to track her down and asks why is she avoiding him. She denies this, but he is confused - he thought she liked him; what isn’t she telling him? Is there someone else? Helen, getting more and more upset, says “Yes; there’s always been someone else and always will be. Is that enough, or do you need more?” There is a pause and Lee replies, quietly, “No, that’s enough” and we hear the sound of footsteps and the shop door closing as he leaves, upon which Helen breaks down and sobs. Come on guys - get it together for God’s sake.

Finally, Neil and I were discussing Rev. Franks’ ‘Pay for a favour’ idea for Lent, which seems to be going well. We wondered what favours various villagers might offer (for example, Kate might offer to go back to South Africa - we’d all chip in for that) but we were really stumped when it came to Tracy - what favours could she possibly offer - and, equally perplexing, how much would she charge?