Tuesday 5 February 2019

Roy’s Ears Are Burning

Ian Pepperell (Roy Tucker)

You’ve got to feel sorry for Roy - he hasn’t had a lot of luck recently and last week it all got a whole heap worse. Lynda accosts him at Grey Gables to tell him about something she overheard Hilary Noakes saying in the shop about Lexi - she cannot believe it was true. Roy says that what Lexi does is nothing to do with him and Lynda is taken aback - she always thought that Roy was an exemplary father and she is shocked by his attitude; she was obviously mistaken about him.

It takes a while, but Roy cottons on to the fact that they are talking about Lexi being pregnant. Not only that, but it is assumed by everyone that he is the father and that he has turned his back on Lexi. Roy tells Lynda that, if Lexi is pregnant, it’s nothing to do with him - it’s complicated. He realises that tongues are wagging and he tries - unsuccessfully - to get in touch with Lexi. In the end, he goes round to see her and, as luck would have it, both Ian and Adam are at home. Roy storms in, asking Lexi why did she tell everyone except him about the baby? It’s all over the village.

Lexi assures him she has told no-one except for Adam and Ian and they have only told one member of family (Jennifer) and one close friend (Helen) and they are sure that neither of those would have told anyone. Roy eventually calms down and accepts that the trio are blameless before he leaves. Adam, Ian and Lexi have a council of war and they agree that they cannot have people bad mouthing Roy - the only thing for it is to come clean about the surrogacy. 

Ian and Adam are under no illusions that telling people the truth will not make their lives any easier, with Ian saying that the only thing to do is tell the truth “and brace ourselves for a tidal wave of clacking tongues.”

This they do and almost immediately find that the boot is well and truly on the other foot, as there are many in Ambridge who are not yet ready to come to terms with two men having a baby. Ian tells Helen that people in his kitchen are talking just loudly enough for him to hear and they do not approve. It gets worse for Ian when he talks to Brian, who tells him that the child is bound to be picked on when it becomes known who are the parents - children can be so cruel. Brian cheerfully tells Ian that Ruairi suffered at school and he had a mother and a father - it’s just that they were married to different people. All of this does nothing to ease Ian’s mind and we learn that two of the worst offenders are Hilary Noakes and Sabrina Braithwaite, neither of whom have speaking parts.

However, probably the worst offender is Emma Grundy, who reverts to her former, miserable self when she calls in on Jennifer and she tells Jen what people are saying under the pretext that Jen needs to know what people are saying. Jenny is taken aback and Emma goes on to say that she cannot believe that Lexi could have the baby and then give it up. Jenny points out that the baby isn’t biologically anything to do with Lexi, as the egg was donated. Kirsty, who has joined in the conversation, says that she is sure that Lexi knows what she’s doing.

Chief tongue-clacker Emma steams on regardless, saying that, if she gave birth, she would feel that the baby was hers “and most women would feel the same, wouldn’t they Kirsty?” This is particularly thoughtless, given that Kirsty had a miscarriage not so long ago. But Emma hasn’t finished, telling Jennifer that people are saying that Lexi must be doing it for the money. “How dare you!” shouts a scandalised Jennifer, and Emma is lucky that Jen doesn’t attack her with the blood-covered meat cleaver that she is holding (she is making a game pie and hasn’t been doing a Helen on Brian.) 

Kirsty suggests to Emma that she should keep her opinions to herself (”Hear, hear!” says Jenny). Emma, who sometimes exhibits all the sensitivity of a pile of house bricks, protests that it’s not her opinion; she’s just telling Jennifer what everybody is saying and the poor, misguided cow seems to expect thanks and praise for doing just that. Is it ignorance, vindictiveness, or just because she comes from Horrobin stock, do you reckon? Not before time, Emma departs and Jenny thanks Kirsty for “her timely intervention”, asking how can people be so mean spirited? Years of practice, Jen; years of practice.

Years of practice is what Alistair has got under his belt (look: it’s not easy to try and come up with things that might pass for links, I’ll have you know) and his stock is riding high after his and Phil’s panto horse‘s triumph in the half marathon. First of all, he treats Gem for an infected foot and earns the undying gratitude of Joe Grundy and he tells Joe that, after his sell-out (and I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense) to the Felpersham firm of vets, the next visit will probably be from another vet. Joe tells him that Gem wouldn’t want another vet.

Secondly, Alistair is called out to Brookfield by Johnny, when one of the Montys gets its leg caught after the herd was spooked by the barking of sheepdog Bess (no Bess - sheep are the smaller, white and woolly things; Montys are cattle that could stomp you into the ground). Alistair manages to treat the beast successfully (a broken leg would have meant having the beast put down and, presumably, some awkward questions when the other members of the Bridge Farm family began to count the numbers in the herd - although Tony might have had some arithmetical problems) but Alistair saved the day and a grateful (and relieved) Johnny thanks Alistair and says he is “amazing - Ambridge would be lost without you”.

Alistair goes to see Doug Lovell; one of the partners, and puts his case for staying as a working vet in Ambridge. In case Doug might be worried about his age (Lovell James have got a programme for Alistair that, basically, reduces Alistair’s duties to training and carrying out routine inspections) Alistair shows Doug the front page of that week’s Echo. “I appear to be looking at a photo of a pantomime horse” says a somewhat bemused Doug, to which Alistair counters that it shows how fit he is. Doug says that he sees where Alistair is coming from, but he (Doug) needs to discuss it with Don James, the other partner. Presumably Alistair told him that he doesn’t attend his customers dressed as a pantomime horse.

There is a bit of a theme running through this week’s blog - that of nosey, interfering women. Step forward Pat Archer, who quizzes daughter Helen about the evening meal she had on Monday. Sherlock Pat notices that Helen has received a number of texts from Lee - is something going on? Helen replies that she often gets texts from Kirsty, so what is Pat getting at? Pat takes the plunge and says that, when she has spoken to Lee, his conversation is, to put it mildly, limited, subject-wise. If I had £1 for every time I’ve told Pat to mind her own business in this blog, I could employ someone to take over writing it. Helen makes a caustic comment that perhaps Pat would prefer someone like her last serious relationship?

The meal with Lee was a success, although Helen felt over-dressed. Nevertheless, the evening was enjoyable and, talking to Kirsty later in the week, Helen reveals that she is fond of Lee. Kirsty asks if Helen has said anything about Rob yet and is amazed when Helen says “not yet” - she will when she feels the time is right and when she’s ready. Kirsty is worried that Lee might find out about Rob from someone else, to which Helen replies that Lee is the best thing that’s happened to her in ages and why is Kirsty putting a downer on the relationship?

When it comes to relationships, Kirsty has some soul-searching of her own to do. She is disaffected with her job at Grey Gables and would like some sort of role in the environmental sector. Boyfriend Phil has said he would support her in this and goes further, asking her to move in with him at the house he is buying in the Beechwood development. Kirsty’s dilemma is on a number of levels; first of all, she campaigned against the Beechwood plan, so how would it look if she moved in? Secondly, although she tells Helen that she loves Phil and finds him easy to be with and an all-round, lovely guy, she is worried that the relationship with Phil might go nads up and doesn’t want to jinx it. Let’s be honest, she hasn’t had a lot of luck recently, relationship-wise, has she? I’d make your mind up quickly, Kirsty, as Phil isn’t getting any younger, is he?

Brian isn’t getting younger either, but he is determined that he will have his moment of glory in court when he pleads ‘not guilty’. He tells anyone who will listen (and many who won’t) that Jenny didn’t marry a coward and he is determined to defend his good name and reputation in court (the fact that he is, in fact, culpable over the burying of toxic waste seems to have eluded him). The more the EA want to crush him, the more determined he is to resist them. Everyone to whom he talks tells him that he’s being an idiot, selfish, and putting the other members of the family (and Rooooth) in a difficult position. Brian’s answer to this could be easily summed up as ‘sod everybody else’ and he wants to go down fighting.

This attitude has meant that there aren’t many places where Brian can go without meeting someone who spits at him and crosses themselves. He takes to either annoying Adam by haunting the office at Home Farm or walking the streets and lanes of Ambridge, muttering to himself about “making a stand”. 

On one such expedition, he encounters Joe Grundy, who is taking Gem out for gentle exercise after having her hoof treated, and who gets Brian to hold Gem while he (Joe) fixes his boots - Emma helped him tie them and I wouldn’t be surprised if she had knotted them together. Joe comes over all philosophical and tells Brian that the Aldridges being driven out of their home gives him no pleasure, which is a surprise, as, earlier in the week, he was preaching to Emma about the mighty being laid low and pride coming before a fall.  Instead, Joe remembers that, when Nic died, he was angry and lashed out at everybody. The only thing that saved him was seeing the harm that he was doing to other members of the family and thank heavens he saw it before he made a dark situation worse. Says Joe: “Never mind fighting your own, selfish battles - ask yourself what is the right thing to for those you love the most?” That should be no problem for Brian, as the person he loves the most is - Brian.

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