The Woman Who Can’t Take A Hint

Patricia Gallimore (Pat Archer)

Yes, we are talking about Pat, who will be lucky if Olwen doesn’t report her for being a stalker. To say that Pat can’t take a hint is actually incorrect - she can’t seem to take on board blunt remarks like ‘sod off and leave me alone’, never mind hints.

We saw this tendency when she was quizzing Helen in her early relationship with Rob, continually questioning her daughter, asking if there’s anything she’d like to tell her and is she all right? Helen responded with “I’m OK” and “don’t ask” but would Pat let up? Hands up all those who said ‘no’. You might think that Pat would have learned her lesson, but you would be sadly mistaken, as she has made it her life’s ambition to improve the quality of Olwen’s life.

On Monday, Pat learns that Olwen turned up at the Elms for breakfast and immediately drops everything and rushes off to the hostel. Too late - Olwen has done a runner and it appears that she is sleeping in her car again. Pat is concerned about Olwen’s health and says that she won’t be happy until she’s sure she is OK. Various people tell Pat that, if Olwen doesn’t want to be found by Pat (and she doesn’t), then Pat will have great trouble finding her. Despite this, Pat does run into Olwen, and Olwen is not at all pleased.  Pat says that she wishes Olwen would come back and stay at Bridge Farm, but Olwen says that she is fine sleeping in her car, especially now the weather is getting better. It’s very kind of Pat, she says (not very truthfully) but she’s fine as she is.

Later the same day, Olwen is at the Elms for lunch and, as luck would have it, Pat is cooking. Pat says she’d like to talk to Olwen later and that she has a present for her. This turns out to be Tom’s old laptop and Pat says that it will enable Olwen to sort out her life, enabling her to have details of jobs, hostels and everything else that a homeless car dweller could wish for to hand. Olwen’s patience is being sorely tested and she says bluntly that she doesn’t need Pat to sort out her life for her and she doesn’t want the laptop, thank you very much. “You and I have taken different paths in life,” she tells Pat, adding: “I like the way I am - I don’t want better, OK?” That seems plain enough, but as Olwen gets ready to go, Pat demonstrates her obtuseness, saying “Shall I leave this here for you?” Olwen’s response (“Do whatever you like. Goodbye Pat”) seems unequivocal enough, but what’s the betting that Pat will be nagging her again at the Elms in the near future? I’m just surprised that we didn’t hear her say ’Is that a yes, then?’ as Olwen left. Perhaps Olwen should have beaten her senseless with the laptop as an attempt to give her a hint as to her feelings.

Freddie’s life becomes ever-more complicated. He invites Johnny to the quiz at The Bull, but Johnny is borassic. Never mind, Freddie will stand him a few drinks, as a ‘thank you’ for the help he gave him when Ellis came on a bit heavy. At the pub, the two lads are joined by Jazzer and Hannah. Jazzer is relentlessly pursuing Hannah and he tapped up Jim Lloyd for advance notice of the quiz questions, in order to impress her (Jim is questionmaster). Fortunately, Jim maintains his integrity and refuses, although he does insert and extra round (on history), which Jazzer might know something about. Unlikely unless it’s the history of pigs or lager.

Freddie has a great idea - Hannah is looking for a place to live and Johnny and Tom have a spare room; why not have a look? Jazzer thinks this is an awful idea, but Hannah agrees to go after the quiz. As Freddie and John are showing her round, there is a crash and a brick comes sailing through the window and catches Johnny on the head. He’s bleeding and we learn later that he needed a couple of stitches.

Not surprisingly, the trio are shocked and Freddie demonstrates once again that he is no loss to the detective force, when he says “It’s so crazy - I mean, who would do anything like that?” Let’s pause and think back a day or two - Ellis, who is a drug dealer, was getting shirty with Freddie for dealing on his patch and punched him on the nose. Johnny came to the rescue and saw an unhappy Ellis off. So, we have a man of known law-breaking tendencies, who is willing to resort to violence and who bears a grudge against Fred and Johnny. On the other hand, we have a brick through a window from an unknown assailant. It’s a tricky one Sherlock - at least a two-pipe problem, I’d say.

The following day, Lily is driving her twin to college and giving him the silent treatment. They drive past Johnny’s house and Lily spots the damage to the window, asking Freddie what happened? He talks down the incident, but Lily, who is obviously more quick-witted than her brother, says that does he think it is a coincidence that this happened the day after Freddie and Johnny stood up to Ellis?

When Freddie gets out of the car, he runs into Ellis, who says that he heard there was a bit of trouble last night and tells Freddie to take care. At last the penny drops and Freddie accuses Ellis of throwing the brick. Ellis refuses to confess, but says that, if it had been him, then maybe it was a way of sending Fred a message and “no-one deals round this college unless they work for me.” “Are you threatening me?” asks lightning-brain Freddie and Ellis replies “just telling it like it is.” Freddie has obviously been taking the brave pills, and a dose of stupidity tablets too, when he says “What if I disagree?” “That would be a big mistake” Ellis tells him, adding that he knows where Freddie lives, and that Lower Loxley has a lot of windows. It wouldn’t surprise me if Freddie didn’t think ‘you know, I reckon that Ellis had something to do with the brick throwing.’ I would suggest that this is no time to play hardball with a drug dealer and I reckon Freddie was thatclose to calling Ellis a cad and a rotter.

When in the car, Freddie noticed a rather naff leather jacket on the back seat - whose is it? Lily is rather coy about it and comes up with some story about giving someone called Ollie a lift and he must have left it behind. Freddie is not convinced and asks his sister if she has a secret boyfriend, which she denies.

On to more cheerful matters - PC Burns has not prepared for his promotion appraisal or similar and is therefore pleasantly surprised when his senior officer suggests that he goes for his sergeant’s exams next year. He and Fallon decide to celebrate at The Bull (this is quiz night, so the place is packed) and PCB wants to announce their engagement. Fallon isn’t keen - she has always been so overtly anti-marriage that she is afraid that people will think she has lost her marbles; especially if it became common knowledge that she proposed to PCB, rather than the other way round. 

On the night, he gets round this neatly by grabbing Jim’s microphone and telling the assembled throng that, from the moment he first saw Fallon, he knew he wanted to spend his life with her, and he proposes to her. At first she says ‘no’ but then changes this to ‘all right then’, which is not the most enthusiastic acceptance that I have ever heard. Anyway Harrison, well done for coming up with a solution and rest assured, that whatever happens in your sergeant’s exam, you’ll always be PCB in my book.

Over at Home Farm, Brian is gradually telling people about the fact that the insurance company will not pay for the clean-up. In a phone call to Hungary, Debbie agrees that selling land is the only realistic option. Adam has already agreed, so Brian tells Jennifer, but she has already guessed the score and agrees. Brian also tells Rooooth (as Ruairi’s representative) and David (whom Rooooth would presumably tell anyway. David asks how much land will need to be sold, to which the answer is 300 acres. Brian says that the plan is to sell the land which he recently bought from BL.

That just leaves Kate and Alice to tell and they are both very supportive - they don’t want to make things any more difficult than they already are. He is touched and says that he is going to open ‘something a bit special’. Are you sure you can afford it, Brian?

Adam had a great idea to go on a phone-in on Radio Borsetshire, to publicise the trouble he is having in recruiting fruit pickers. However, the interviewer twists the discussion around to the clean-up operation and asks if Home Farm fruit is safe to eat? Adam gets frustrated and annoyed and hangs up on him. Alice and Kate seek Adam out to sympathise with him and give him a big hug, describing the interviewer as “a brainless idiot.” Adam is grateful and calls his sisters amazing. Kate offers to give Adam some positive karma, while Alice’s contribution is doubtless more welcome, as she says she will help Adam with the caravans.

Will is worried by Bev’s statement that Andrew has contacted a solicitor to see how he stands vis-à-vis custody of Jake and Mia, as their biological father. Clarrie and Eddie talk it over with Will and it is eventually decided that perhaps Will should also see a Brief to see how he stands. Will has already seen Brian to discuss Martyn Gibson’s ultimatum that, if Will doesn’t work full time, then he cannot live at the tied cottage. Brian explains that his hands are tied, as he is no longer BL Chair, but he asked Annabelle to have a word with slimeball Gibson. All to no avail, as he was unmoved and Will has until the end of next week to make up his mind.

It seems that the interview with the solicitor went well and Will is optimistic that Mia and Jake will want to stay with him, although the solicitor said that the wishes of the children are usually taken into account. Will admits to his mother that he will have some work to do to get Jake onside. More goodies and treats coming your way soon, I reckon Jake.

Will, who hasn’t told his family about Gibson’s ultimatum, says to Clarrie that he will be returning to work full time. She is alarmed - why now and what will happen to the children? Will glosses over this and says “Mum, I need to do this, OK? I’ll sort it out - I’ll manage somehow. I’ll be fine.” Brave words Will, but we’d love to know your plans. Personally, I reckon he should call on Lexi for childminding - failing that, perhaps Emma could take some stimulants and take advantage of the few hours a day that she currently wastes by sleeping.