Tuesday, 28 September 2021

A Proper Night Out

A Cribbage Board

It’s the morning of the Flower and Produce Show and Jennifer’s apprehensive about the day ahead as she’s not sure how much the Ambridge grapevine has caught up with the news about Alice’s decision not to move back in with Chris. Brian lends her moral support and walks her down to the show where she will be helping out with the judging.


Jolene’s getting ready for the show by fiddling with her golden ivy and Kenton agrees it makes a most impressive centrepiece to her autumn-themed hanging basket. Eddie’s not pleased though as it will be going head to head with his and Clarrie’s entry, but a free pint from Jolene brings him round, and anyway he’s hopeful that his trimmed beetroot might bag him a prize. In the end Jolene ‘only’ gets highly commended but that’s better than Eddie’s trimmed beetroot that didn’t even get a third, in fact he hasn’t won anything at all. He couldn’t even win by nobbling half the village - all his efforts earned him was earache from Jennifer when she found out what he had been up to.


After judging, Jennifer takes to the microphone and rubs salt in Eddies’ wounds by announcing that Bert Fry has won the Freda Fry Memorial Cup - on top of his three first prizes. But wait, this year there’s an extra prize in memory of Joe Grundy - the entry that raised the biggest smile. No not Cecil Jackson’s eye-watering pickled shallots, but Poppy Grundy for her monkey on a plate collage.


With the show wrapped up until next year Jennifer pops in to see Chris at the workshop with a pair of pram shoes for Martha and tells him that she’s also popped a beef casserole in the freezer at The Nest. Then Amy pops in to say she’s bought Martha a sleep suit and Chris starts to worry that people are thinking that he can’t cope as a single parent. While Amy’s there he asks if she’d like to go out tomorrow night with him, Fallon and Harrison. Is that a date? 


They go to The Bull with Chris determined that he's going to have a ‘proper night out’, having been there since straight after work. His companions turn out to be lightweights and are soon on the coffee while Chris is sounding increasingly drunk. He gets so drunk in fact that Jolene asks him to leave and then Amy and Fallon have to help him home. Chris is staggering all over the place and throwing up but they finally get him home and have to put him in the recovery position on his bed incase he’s sick in his sleep (we’ve all been there). 


The incident that prompted Jolene to throw Chris involved him Cecil Jackson. Apparently before the girls turned up he was sitting with Cecil buying him drink after drink, before giving him a hug and asking the whole pub to toast the man with the smallest wallet but the biggest marrow in Ambridge, before tripping over and then losing his dinner over a cribbage board (I’d probably just throw that away - imagine trying to clean vomit out of all those little holes with a cocktail stick).


Amy gives Alice the heads-up and she finds him in the morning knowing only too well what he must be feeling like. She checks that he doesn’t want another drink and is relieved when he says the thought of it makes his stomach churn, as she would have reached for the bottle again. She tells him to take a shower while she looks after Martha and cooks him some breakfast. The irony of this role reversal isn’t lost on the pair of them and Chris tells Alice how impressed he is that she’s managing to stay dry.


The next day Alice is off to the stables to say goodbye to Banjo, and he’s pleased to see her. His new owner is an extremely accomplished rider called Rani Pershore but she won’t be picking him up until later so Shula suggests Alice takes him out for one last ride. Alice doesn’t think she deserves to because she feels she’s letting ‘Banj’ down but Shula says she needs to say a proper farewell to him. After the ride Alice grooms Banjo as he sighs appreciatively and tells Shula that she enjoyed it so much that she’d like to help Shula by taking the livery horses out now and then. 


Head clear after the ride Alice goes back to Willow cottage and promptly drops a bombshell on Brian and Jennifer - she and Chris are getting divorced. It’s her decision but knows it’s the best for everyone, and her and Chris will still be friends and good parents to Martha. Brian’s reaction is typical - Chris will be entitled to a share of Alice’s assets, especially if he’s awarded custody. And what assets are they I hear you ask? Well, her share of Home Farm of course!


Over on the Beechwood Estate Joy has spotted someone acting suspiciously outside her house and it bothers her. So is Joy’s neighbour Lee. Not only has he seen footprints outside his house, Johnny noticed strange goings-on when he was on the estate and found the side gate to Helen and Lee’s house open when there was nobody home. Lee thinks he know’s who’s been poking around and doesn’t waste any time getting Helen and the boys to safety, packing them all off to Bridge Farm. The school’s alerted as Helen agrees that it’s Rob making an unwelcome return and is going to try and abduct his son Jack again (he kidnapped him 4 years ago but was foiled by Helen - see He’s Out Of My Life Forever).


They also contact the police, for what good that will do. When he fled to America the police said they would flag him as a person of interest should he try to return to the UK - so that worked then. Whatever Rob does next Lee’s convinced that they’ll have to stop him themselves - keep those knives sharp and handy Helen. Tony goes round to put up a security camera while under Joy’s unwanted supervision but she does come in handy though as a test subject to ensure the cameras’ movement sensor works. 


I suppose at the very least having a Joy Horville early warning system on your house would come in very useful indeed.


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