Welcome Home (Not)

Hollie Chapman (Alice Carter)

Brian and Adam seem to be getting along a bit better nowadays, which is strange, as Adam still seems to be doing most of the work round the farm. To be fair, Brian did offer to ring up to order the oil, or gas, or something similar. Adam is particularly upbeat, as he will be having an interview of sorts with an environmentalist and it’s looking hopeful. Nevertheless, he and Brian agree not to tell Ian or Jennifer just yet.

Suddenly, all thoughts of work are banished from their minds as Alice walks in, demanding the keys to the house, as she wants to get her stuff. Brian is thunderstruck – he’s paying an arm and a leg for Alice’s rehab, so what the hell is she doing back home? Alice announces that she has walked out of rehab, as it wasn’t doing her any good and she couldn’t stand it any longer, so just give her the keys please.

She has decided that she has to leave Ambridge, as she cannot bear the thought of people talking about her in whispers and everybody just waiting for her to let them all down again. Where will she go? Alice replies that she is thinking about Bath, but Brian immediately scotches this idea – she has no money, no job and nowhere to live and she has picked one of the most expensive towns in the land; she’s living in fantasy land. Brian is being particularly nasty to his daughter (no doubt thinking of the waste of money) and his mood is made even worse when the rehab place say that they cannot discuss Alice’s case with him, as she has not given her consent. Alice says that she needs some space and leaves, while Jennifer tells Brian off and says that his remarks are not helping. 

Alice takes refuge in the churchyard, where she is shortly joined by the Reverend Alan Franks. She opens up fractionally more to him, saying that rehab was so tough that she couldn’t stand it any longer. The vicar says that he is always there for her if needed, and he has an idea that may help.

So it is that, later on, Alan calls in on Brian and Jennifer to sound them out about his idea. In a nutshell, the idea is that Alice should move in with Alan’s daughter Amy, who is a midwife in Nottingham, and whose long-term housemate has just moved out. Nottingham is far enough away from Ambridge and Amy (to whom Alan has explained the whole story) says she would be delighted to see her old friend again. As for Brian and Jennifer, they would have the security of knowing that Alice is living somewhere safe. Jenny thinks it’s an ideal solution and Brian says that it’s wonderful of Amy to offer to help. Too damn right it is – I wonder whether Amy realises just what she has taken on?

Meanwhile, over at Beechwood, all is not going well between Helen and one of her neighbours. His name is Kyle and he is using the local WhatsApp group to post nasty comments and messages about Helen’s past. This week he went into the shop and immediately began making sarcastic comments about the high prices and virtually accusing Helen of profiteering. When Helen makes some comment, he tells her that it’s a free country and he likes to speak his mind, so she had better get used to hearing what he’s got to say.

Helen is upset with herself for not standing up more for herself, and it gets worse when she and Lee go to the pub and Kyle is there, drinking a pint. Helen feels that she should stand up to Kyle and asks him why he keeps making the comments. In reply, Kyle is even more sarcastic, to the extent that Lee tells him to shut his mouth. Helen tries to calm Lee down and Kyle says that Lee should listen to Helen, as “she’s not a woman you’d want to disagree with, if you know what I mean.” Add to this that Kyle has called Helen; to her face’ “a nutjob” and “a criminal” and you get the impression that he really doesn’t like her.

In fact, Kyle says that he and his wife Sarah moved into the Beechwood development because they wanted a nice place to live and to have their children and now Helen is spoiling it for everyone. Speaking personally, not since Martyn Gibson began getting longer speaking parts, have I taken such an instant dislike to a character, and I would willingly give him a good kicking until my legs ached.

As such, I was delighted when Lee announced that he has something to tell her about Kyle which could be the answer to all their troubles. We aren’t told what it is right away, but Helen meets Kyle, who is as obnoxious as ever. It is here that he accuses Helen of spoiling his and Sarah’s enjoyment by living on the estate.

Funny that Kyle should mention enjoyment, says Helen, as his house overlooks Helen and Lee’s garden and they can see into Kyle’s spare bedroom and Lee noticed a woman visiting Kyle earlier on; a woman who certainly wasn’t Sarah. Lucky that Lee had his camera with him, and the photos have come out clear and sharp. Kyle asks is she threatening him? Not at all, Helen replies, but if Kyle doesn’t stop the nasty comments and doesn’t leaves the family in peace, she might just publish the pictures on the Group chat website “and don’t think that I haven’t got the nerve to do it” she adds, with a note of menace in her voice. Kyle goes to pieces quicker than an exploding hand grenade and says “Let’s just drop it, shall we?” The great thing is that Lee never took any photos in the first place! 

Roy’s love life – such as it is – continues to fascinate Phoebe and Kirsty. Roy still hasn’t met Leyla face to face, but Kirsty has a cunning plan; she has dug out a press cutting about some charity event, held by the school where Leyla teaches. There is a photograph of the schoolkids and three female teachers and, while the teachers are named, it doesn’t say which is which, so the great Leyla hunt continues, albeit slowly. Watch this space.

Let’s return to Alice for a moment. She goes to see Fallon to tell her that she is going to Nottingham and to say ‘goodbye’. When Fallon asks how long for, Alice is vague and noncommittal - all she will say is that Brian is driving her there and they will be leaving about four o’clock. She asks Fallon for a favour – will she keep an eye on Chris and Martha for her? Oh yes, and don’t tell Chris that she is leaving – she just wants to slip quietly away,

This puts Fallon in an awkward spot – she believes that it would be good if Alice and Chris met up, but she promised not to spill the beans about Alice’s impending exit from Ambridge. Fallon tries to drop subtle hints to Chris – far too subtle, as she eventually has to spell out in plain English that Alice is leaving and, to Fallon’s ears anyway, it sounded like she might not be coming back. Chris arrives at Brian and Jennifer’s before the 4pm deadline, but it is too late – apparently Brian couldn’t bear the sight of Jenny’s tear-stained face at the window and so he and Alice set off early and they were gone before Chris could meet and talk to his wife. Actually, I reckon that Alice was taking a chance travelling with Brian, as I wouldn’t put it past him to drive her back to rehab and dump her there (again) in order to get some value for the shedload of money that he’s paying out.

What else has been happening? You will be delighted to know that Ben Archer has been accepted for his nursing degree course and he starts in September. This will mean a parting of the ways for the dynamic duo of Ben and Ruairi, as Ruairi is banking on getting good enough results to go to university in London and, from the things he is saying, I somehow don’t think it’s the quality of the academic teaching that is the main attraction of life in the capital.

If you cast your mind back to the opening paragraph of this week’s blog, you may recall that Brian and Adam agreed not to say anything about Adam’s possible job prospects – all for the very best of motives of not upsetting Ian and Jennifer; can you imagine how Jenny would take on if both Alice and Adam were to leave Ambridge permanently?

Anyway, here we have a case of adding two and two and making five, as, although Brian and Adam are working from the best of motives, these can be misunderstood and misinterpreted. Ian has noticed that Adam is increasingly away with the fairies and often in a world of his own. On Thursday, Adam takes a call from the man to discuss the potential job. Ian remarks that Adam seemed a bit jumpy, and who was it that rang? Adam replies that it was Lee, who wants some help with the tree house.

That evening, Ian is meeting up with Helen and he asks her if Lee needs his help with the tree house? Helen is mystified – the tree house is practically finished and Lee can easily cope with the final details. Not only that, but Helen has been at home with Lee all afternoon and she never saw him make any phone call.

Ian is upset and he tells Helen that Adam is lying to him and he’s very much afraid that Adam is having an affair – after all he has form in this area, having been unfaithful before. Helen urges him to talk to Adam, which, if you think about it, is good advice, as if the two men were to talk, then the whole misunderstanding could be put right in no time at all. But Ian doesn’t know what to do – the last time this happened, he swore that, if it ever happened again, he’d walk out, but things are different now – now they have Xander to consider. What can Ian do?