Richard Attlee (Kenton Archer)
This week’s title could apply to so many people in Ambridge, but to save you guessing, I’ll tell you now that we are talking about Kenton here. He attended Russ’s first art exhibition at Lower Loxley and moaned because the gaffer tape hadn’t been removed from the floor, until Russ pointed out that it was, in fact, an integral part of one of the artworks on show.
The title of the exhibition was ‘Brex-Art’ and Russ gave Shula a guided tour, asking what does Brexit mean to so many people? My response to this was along the lines of ‘spectacular waste of time and money’, ‘feeding time at the chimps’ tea party’, and ‘couldn’t run a whelk stall’, but it seems that in this I too was guilty of Philistinism and that it’s really all about borders and this was reflected in the exhibits. When Kenton got his twin on her own, he had a moan about “a load of pretentious twaddle” and was amazed when Shula replied that Russ had given her a new insight into the artworks on show.
Kenton then had a dig at Russ, asking how many of the very good crowd (and it wasa very good crowd) had bought anything? Russ says that he’s well aware that the gallery should make money “but it’s not like pulling pints” and you have to build up a reputation so people will want their art shown at lower Loxley. Kenton is still sceptical and, when Elizabeth turns up, he is about to belittle Russ’s efforts when she says brightly that Russ has done an amazing job and she’s delighted. It is around this time that it is revealed that Lizzie paid off the £5k rent arrears that Lily and Russ had accumulated in Manchester (what were they renting – Old Trafford? The Etihad Stadium?). Kenton is incensed, telling his sister that she cannot be expected to keep bailing out Russ. Lizzie explains that she was the guarantor, and besides (and this must have been like dragging fingernails down the blackboard of Kenton’s soul), “because of him I feel so much better – I don’t know what I’d do without him.”
Let’s pause here and think about Kenton’s attitude towards money – he upbraids Lizzie for helping Russ (conveniently forgetting that Lily was living there as well), while he (Kenton) put the bite on brother David to help him out of financial difficulty and now, because times are still hard, he’s reneged on the repayments.
Jolene says she needs some professionally shot promotion photographs to advance her career and Kenton throws a wobbler, saying they cannot afford it and he can do an equally good job with his phone. Jolene has her doubts, but allows herself to be persuaded, whereupon Kenton tells her to get glammed up and they will roam Ambridge, looking for suitable locations. These include the river bank, a hedgerow and the telephone box on the Green. When he shows her the results, it is evident that her misgivings were well-founded, as she hates them all. Of the photograph showing her leaving the phone box, she says “I look like I’ve just left my card inside.” Nevertheless, Kenton insists that they can’t afford a professional photoshoot. No need, says Jolene, as Richard Thwaite has got a super duper camera and has suggested that Jolene sits for him. As luck would have it, wife Sabrina is away all next week, so Jolene could pop over anytime. Suddenly, Kenton has a change of heart – the photos will be an investment and he now thinks that they should go for a professional job “What the hell, eh?” he tells her “It’s only money.” True enough Kenton, but it’s David’s money.
Over at Bridge Farm, nobody seems to think it odd that Natasha has been awol for 11 days. Nobody that is except super sleuth Susan Carter, who mentions it to Pat. To be fair, Helen has noticed Natasha’s absence and Tom’s excuse that she’s tearing around, trying to build up her juice business, is wearing thin. Tom eventually reveals all to Helen and now all they have to do is put Pat off the scent. Not easy, as she says that she and Tony haven’t had a chance to see how Tom and Natasha are settling into the flat and why don’t they drop round with a bottle one evening? “Too busy” Tom replies, moving off to do something with the pigs.
But this is Pat we are talking about and she won’t let it lie. Eventually, Tom realises that he will be worn down eventually and confesses that Natasha is back with her parents and he doesn’t know what will happen next. Fortunately for us, we are spared Pat’s thoughts on this as, unlikely as it seems, Jazzer comes to the rescue, but I’m afraid you’ll have to wait to read about this.
Jazzer returns home to Jim’s cottage. He’s supposed to be working at the Tea Room but has come back for some food, as Fallon has banned him from finishing off the customers’ leftovers – I bet she blesses the day that she took Jazzer on, as he has brought a whole new level of sophistication to the dining experience and ambience, but sadly not in a good direction. As gourmet Jazzer gets out some instant noodles, he tells Jim that the lawyer lassie he met in the Tea Room has told him that he could potentially be owed thousands by Bridge Farm for Constructive Dismissal.
Jazzer was well impressed with her office – apparently it had a desk, as well as curtains and – and here you’d better sit down – lots of books! Jazzer admits that he didn’t have a clue about most of what she was talking about, but he did latch on to the ‘thousands of pounds’ bit. “I’m not going to be walked over any longer” he tells Jim.
Jim advises caution and asks who will pay Jazzer’s legal costs? “Tom” is the answer and Jim gently suggests that, should Jazzer not win, then he could be in a considerably worse financial situation. “I’m not gonna lose” Jazzer says confidently and Jim has one last go, saying that what Jazzer needs is a lawyer who will take the case pro bono. Jazzer has a lightbulb moment – why can’t Jim take on the case, as he knows all the fancy words and he has been researching Constructive Dismissal on the Internet? Personally, I hold no brief for lawyers (pun intended) but even I think there’s a bit more involved than that.
Jim protests that he’s not qualified, but it appears to be in vain, as he and Jazzer confront Tom, Pat and Helen at Bridge Farm. Jazzer goads Tom about how hard he must be finding it, looking after the pigs single-handedly, but Jim shuts him up and says that they want a meeting “to discuss Jazzer’s severance”. Tom says Jazzer resigned, but Jim replies that a swift settlement would be good. “If not we will be forced to sue Bridge Farm.” And this was the rescue act referred to earlier – I accept that it’s not particularly good news, but at least it shut Pat up about going on about Natasha.
Let’s go back to Sunday and the cricket match. Chris is still acting captain, despite the fact that PCB - or as we will have to call him before long, SGTB; congrats on passing your sergeant’s exam Harrison – is back in the team. We soon come across a fundamental dichotomy in how the game is approached; Chris wants his team to play with respect and, if they lose, so be it, while Tracy is sledging every member of the opposition and, in her viewpoint, a good team is the one that wins, so knock them down and go for the jugular. She says that Chris hasn’t got enough Horrobin in him (something for which I suspect he is eternally grateful) and she and Chris are debating this argument, when PCB comes up with a solution – the vice captaincy is vacant, so why doesn’t Tracy do the job? She’s all for it, while Chris’s thanks are rather muted. Ambridge got thrashed, by the way.
Clarrie has been trying to get Will to apologise to Tracy over the debacle about the Valentine’s card that he thought had been sent by her, but which had, in fact, been sent by Mia and Poppy. Strong words were said on both sides and, three months later, no apology has been offered. Will does apologise to Tracy and she accepts, telling him that it is Mia that she is worried about “You’ve got yourself a treasure there and you’d do well to remember that” she tells Will.
Poor Will never seems to get things right, does he? When he learned that Mia was being snowed under with looking after the home, seeing to Poppy and doing the washing and cooking, he did an about turn, so now Mia isn’t allowed to do anything and she feels that Will is punishing her. Clarrie tries to reassure her that Will loves her, but Mia is in a strange mood and takes a day off school, hiding under the duvet.
Will tells her that he has a surprise for her – during the summer he is booking time off for them to have a holiday, as a family, camping in the Lake District. There will be windsurfing, kayaking, abseiling and who knows what else? Mia is underwhelmed and says that actually, she had planned to spend the holidays with Andrew, her father, as she “needs a break”. At this, Will loses it completely, telling her that he needs a break too and he goes way too far when he tells Mia that she would be turning her back on Poppy and Will, and furthermore, Nic would be so disappointed at her attitude. Voices are raised and Will goes off to get the fish and chips for supper.
We next hear Mia on the phone, leaving a tearful message for Andrew, begging him to come and get her “I hate him,” she says about Will, “and I want to come and live with you and Jake.” Will returns later, calling for Mia, but there is no answer and her room is empty. And so close to father’s Day, Will.
Let’s end by going back to Lower Loxley. Freddie has had an idea to show selected visitors the hidden parts of the stately pile, such as the attic and, while he, Elizabeth and Lily are up there, they discover Topper’s ashes. Freddie thinks this would be a good time to bury them and all three stand round the hole, throwing some ashes in and saying nice things about the deceased horse. Better late than never, I suppose.
Kenton tries to get Freddie to take the H&S responsibilities seriously, but Freddie waves him away. Why is he organising these tours? He says it’s because he wants to do something so that his father would be proud of him, but I reckon the truth is, as he tells Kenton, that if Russ can put on a show, then so can he. I can’t help thinking that, getting an exhibition together and getting influential people to attend is somewhat harder than getting a few people up in the attic, apologising for the dust and warning them to watch out where they are stepping ‘as my dad fell off the roof to his death around here somewhere.’
No comments:
Post a Comment