Mia Culpa

Heather Bell (Clarrie Grundy)

There’s a big cricket match coming up in Ambridge but there’s a key member of the team missing – someone to make the tea. Chris tries to get Shula to do it (she used to when married to Alistair) but she’s too busy. Clarrie and Mia come to the rescue and are quite the partnership and apparently pull off one of the best cricket teas ever. However Mia’s got something on her mind and repeated attempts to talk to Clarrie keep getting interrupted. More of this later.

One of the reasons why Shula’s so busy is the church art project. She’s trying to drum up membership for the committee but so far no one has signed up. Jolene (who’s back from her tour) and Kenton can see how unhappy she is about it and try to persuade people to go along. Jolene fails to get Natasha on board (well, she has gone awol) but Kenton bags Russ and a second mystery person. Whoever it is, Jolene’s surprised – “are you sure Shula will want ‘er there?”. Well readers, who else could it be but Lynda Snell.

Sure enough, when we hear Shula greeting Jim at the start of the meeting we can already hear Lynda in the background, boasting about her organisational ability and criticising the poor turnout (Shula, Jim, Linda, Leonard and Russ). Shula sets out the vision for an artwork for St Stephen’s and of course Lynda’s already had some ideas, but so has Russ. Lynda’s big idea? A sculpture of a pair of feet being washed by many hands, to symbolise the community caring for each other. Russ is instantly dismissive (and immediately goes up in my estimation) and a sniff of epic proportions emanates from Lynda’s nostrils when he suggests something avant-garde instead.

Russ has already mocked up a piece based on the 14 Stations of the Cross but Lynda insists there’s 12 and an argument ensues (I’m starting to enjoy this). Bert’s idea of 4 poems and Jim’s of a hologram of Jesus (yes, really) don’t help and Shula, clearly having had enough, calls the meeting to an end. Leonard helps with the clearing up and remains optimistic that something good will come of it.

After that meeting Shula needs a drink and catches up with Alistair in the Bull. 

It turns out his and Shula’s Decrees Absolute have come through (I thought Alistair was sounding quite chipper this week) but she’s feeling guilty about what she’s put him through. Alistair’s very forgiving, surprisingly, and Shula’s relieved that he doesn’t hate her. She must be feeling very sorry for herself indeed.

Someone else feeling sorry for themselves is Freddie. Leonard’s enjoying a stroll around the grounds of Lower Loxley whilst admiring the architecture and comes across him sunbathing. He complains to Leonard that no one wants to employ an ex-con with no work experience but, as Leonard likes architecture, would he like to see the attic? Talk turns to Nigel and Freddie opens up a bit about how he feels about the loss of his father, about ending up in prison, and his newfound love of the house. He’s says he’s glad that Nigel can’t see him now but Leonard corrects him, saying that he didn’t end up in prison but went there – he has a lot to offer and has his whole life ahead of him to achieve anything he wants.

Spurred on by this conversation and Leonard’s obvious fascination with the attic, Freddie dreams up the idea of offering a Hidden Lower Loxley tour. He thinks it would be popular and has a flyer and press release ready. The problem is it’s in only 10 days, an unrealistic time scale that even his whining won’t square. He wants to do this to help contribute money to the business, and not a moment too soon as they’re interrupted by someone at the door. It’s a bailiff (sorry, ‘enforcement agent’) demanding £5,300 in cash or the equivalent goods from Elizabeth.

Who on earth could they owe this money to? Did Elizabeth refuse to pay the actors who performed the disastrous ‘Attack of the Mummy’ at Spookalicious? Is Freddie’s Barrister demanding payment of their expenses? No, Lily and Russ didn’t pay all the rent they owed on their flat before leaving Manchester. Lily’s beside herself with apologies and Freddie’s angry to the point of being in danger of jeopardising his bail, but Elizabeth finds the strength and is calm personified as she settles the bill.

Time to catch up with Ed who, after finally agreeing to the diving job, is back working with dodgy Tim. Another job has come through for that evening and it’s going to take the two of them to handle it. Ed knows that what he’s got involved with is not legit and starts panicking about being seen when they get to the rendezvous. Their contact arrives and, voices hushed, start transferring boxes from one van to another. 

Ed doesn’t feel any better when, on the drive back, Tim shows him the baseball bat he keeps for protection in case things turn nasty. “What am I supposed to do with that” exclaims Ed. Well, my guess is not play rounders to pass the time, or find the other two bats in the van and practice your circus skills – I would suggest it’s to beat the brains out of anyone trying to nick ‘the chemicals’. My prediction is that this storyline is not going to end well and Ed won’t be the only one affected.

In one of the more bizarre situations of recent times (and there are a few to choose from) Fallon gives Jazzer a job in the tearoom. We know it’s not going to go well, especially when she has to suggest he takes a shower first. So what does Fallon get Jazzer (the novice ‘I don’t know the first thing about tea’ tearoom assistant) working on? Clearing tables? Washing up? Taking out the rubbish? No, learning to froth milk while she clears the plates herself! Later in the Bull Fallon complains to Jim that Jazzer spent the whole time chatting and didn’t do a stroke of work. WHAT DID SHE EXPECT!

Things don’t get any better and Fallon has to reprimand Jazzer for gossiping about the Archers. He thinks the customers love his banter but Fallon tells him to tone it down and concentrate on the things he should be doing, like clearing tables. It doesn’t take long for her to catch him slacking and tells him he might as well not be there. However one of the customers he was talking to is a solicitor who tells Jazzer that he might have a case against Tom for unfair dismissal. Now that will be fun.

On his way to the art committee meeting Jim dropped in some money to Clarrie for Nic’s Lent appeal. She’s sure she put it in a bowl but now it’s not there despite looking everywhere and she comes to the conclusion that it’s been stolen. (It’s not the first time money’s gone missing around the Grundy’s; remember Eddie’s brother Alf?)

Are you keeping up with the strange bit-by-bit reappearance of Fallon’s stolen bunting? Tracy tells Susan that she’s found another piece and I can only hope this is leading to a much bigger storyline as I’m losing the will to live. Tracy’s other discovery this morning is that someone’s nicked Cecil Jackson’s washing. Surely not a coincidence suggests Susan, and goes on to link the two crimes with Clarrie’s missing money. Tracy goes off to investigate further, but not before she buys herself 2 scratch cards and a Flake; “I’m going to treat myself to an afternoon bath”. Hopefully the sight of Tracy Horrobin going down on a Flake in an overflowing bath is not the new Cadbury’s commercial.

Tracy doesn’t get her ‘me time’ as one of her scratch cards turns out to be a winner and she rushes down to the garage to cash it in. Instead of enjoying a mouthful of Flake she gets a right mouthful from George when she catches him and his mates throwing stink bombs on the green when he’s supposed to be looking after Keira, who is helplessly looking on (personally I found letting them off in an enclosed space to be more effective). She escorts George and Keira home and George starts playing his new computer game. “New game, what new game?” asks Clarrie, with the inference that George is responsible for this mini crime wave.

Clarrie confides this theory to Susan who is shocked and surprised that George could be the master criminal behind all this. She asks that Susan keep quiet about this while she thinks about what to do. Can Susan keep her mouth shut for once? It seems she can as we next catch up with Clarrie taking a flask of tea and some banana bread to Will. He’s not daft (annoying but not daft) and realises she’s softening the blow of something she’s about to tell him. Will can’t believe George would steal from Nic’s fund either but they agree to confront him later. This doesn’t go well apparently with George protesting his innocence and taking the accusation badly, and explaining that his friend lent him the game.

While this was going on Tracy had persuaded Mia to accompany her to the tearoom for hot chocolate and a sticky bun, from her scratch card winnings. It must have been a considerable win as she also hands Mia money to replace the donation that was stolen. This is news to Mia and she rushes off home and confesses to the crime. 

She didn’t know the money was for Nic’s fund and only took it to pay for Poppy’s school trip to the zoo - a trip that Will had forgotten about – and this is what Mia was trying to talk to Clarrie about at the cricket. The nub of the matter is that Will’s not been coping with being a single parent and Mia’s been picking up the pieces and taking on too much responsibility for a child. The storyline finishes with an acting tour de force by the young actor playing Mia that really pulled at the heartstrings.

“We’re going to make this all better”, says Clarrie. “I promise you Mia, everything’s gonna be ok”.