Bev Breaks Some Bad News

Alison Belbin (Bev Hanson)

Nic’s mother, Bev, had a leading part last week. On Tuesday she phoned Will to say that she’d drop round at lunchtime to have a word with him. “Is it about Mia?”Will asks, which is a pretty dumb question. Bev tells him that she’ll fill him in when they meet. You may recall that the last blog ended with Mia begging Andrew, her dad, to come and fetch her, as she hated Will. 

On Sunday (Clarrie’s 65^th) she is having a wonderful time but keeps asking Will where Mia is. He replies that they had a difference of opinion and agreed that she should stay at Andrew’s for the weekend. “She’ll be back tonight”he tells his mother, before adding “Or tomorrow.”But by Tuesday there’s no sign of Mia, neither has Will been able to raise her on the phone, and Bev turns up, bearing cheese sandwiches for lunch.

How’s Mia? Bev says that she won’t lie - Mia is very unhappy with Will and Bev has come to collect her stuff. “She’ll be staying at Andrew’s a bit longer then?”asks Will. Spot on. He then asks why didn’t Mia come to collect her stuff, to which Bev says that she doesn’t want to see Will. So why didn’t Andrew come? Because he’s so angry with Will that he might not be responsible for his actions and could Will pass Bev the clothes from the wardrobe. “Why does she want her winter clothes?”asks Will, before answering his own question with “I suppose there could be a cold snap.”

By this time, Bev is getting a bit frustrated and asks Will why on earth did he say those cruel things to Mia? “I let my emotions run away with me”says Will, sadly. Substitute ‘big gob’for ‘emotions’and you’re nearer the mark, Will. Bev then says that Mia wants the photos off the walls, to which Will comments “It will look so bare when she comes back.”Eventually, Bev decides that subtle hints are not working and she tells Will that Mia isn’t coming back. The penny finally drops and we all cheer, as I for one was expecting Bev to say ‘give me a hand to get the carpet up and the curtains down’and Will to reply ‘yes, I expect Mia would welcome extra comfort underfoot and a blackout at night.’Instead, Will comes over all formal and tells Bev not to worry about him (like she would) and to save her sympathy for someone who needs it. Bev says that the children are her priority and, if she thinks Poppy needs help, she’ll be back. Arnold Schwarzenegger-like, she departs, leaving the threat hanging in the air. Look on the bright side Will; that’s one less meal to cook and one less person to tidy up after and, now the walls are clear, you can do some redecorating.

It’s not all bad news for Will, as Elizabeth turns up later in the week, full of apologies for not having visited sooner (itis15 months since Nic died). Will says he would invite her in, but the place is a mess, to which Lizzie says that she’s quite capable of washing up her own teacup. And the rest Elizabeth! They get stuck in, to the extent that, when Clarrie pops round a day or so later, her jaw drops - she had no idea that Will was coping so brilliantly. Give it a week or so and pop in again Clarrie - you may be surprised yet again.

Enough of Will, what about brother Ed? He has bad news for Jazzer, as Tim has lined up another job on the day that Ed and Jazz are supposed to be shearing a local flock. Ed postponed the shearing and Jazz is not a happy haggis - he could have done the job on his own. Ed suggests that he rings the lady in question, which Jazz does, only to learn that she has given the gig to another team of shearers. He heaps insults and blame on Ed’s head: “With friends like you pal, I don’t need enemies.”

Jazzer’s job in the Tea Room isn’t a success either; PCB mentions to Fallon that he appears to be asleep at one of the tables. “Shall I wake him?” Ambridge’s finest asks and his wife replies “No; he’s more use asleep than awake.” Fallon knows that she should give Jazzer his cards “but he’s one of my best friends.” For God’s sake, woman, get out more!

Fallon girds her loins and bites the bullet (not an easy thing to do) and resolves to give Jazzer his marching orders. However, it turns out that she doesn’t have to, as Jazz and Jim go to see Tom about Jazzer’s severance package. Jim is icily formal and Tom, who has other things on his mind, not least of which is whether his bride of a few weeks has left him for good, starts offering money in settlement. Jim has given Jazzer strict instructions to keep quiet, but as the offer on the table goes from £1k, to £2k, the Scotsman is finding it hard to keep shtum and, when Tom says £4k, Jazzer breaks in with “Done!” 

Fallon rings Jazzer and says that she wants a word, and he says he wants a word too. When the two meet, they toss to see who goes first and Jazzer tells her that he’s in the money and, sadly, his career in catering is now over. Fallon almost blows it by overdoing the grief at losing her willing helpmate, but she pulls it off and, when asked what it was that she wanted to talk about, she says that it’s gone right out of her head. Shall we have a sweepstake on just how long Jazzer’s windfall will last? I reckon about a month - even less if Jim claims for a percentage of the spoils (and I for one wouldn’t blame him if he did).

Fallon’s long-lost, stolen bunting continues to turn up around the village, in dribs and drabs. I think that someone should claim that this is the much-argued-over new art project for the church - a sort of cloth Banksie if you like - and put an end to the unseemly in-fighting. Susan is discussing the carnage of the committee meetings with sister Tracy and Russ’s name is mentioned. “You mean him with the brown eyes?” Tracy says, adding; “Once she [Lily] gets bored with him, I wouldn’t mind having a go.” And who said romance was dead?

Tracy is on a high, claiming that her sledging tactics were responsible for the defeat of arch-rivals Darrington at the cricket match. Harrison tries to persuade her that there’s more to the game than winning - team spirit, morale and sportsmanship - but Tracy’s attitude is ‘sod all that; it’s about getting more runs than the other team’ and it’s fair to say that the two agree to differ.

Differ is precisely what David and Kenton do on Thursday (this blog isn’t just thrown together, you know - these seamless links take a lot of work). David, along with Jill, Lizzie and Shula (don’t these people have jobs?) are in the Bull at lunchtime, when David notices that the day’s special is Bridge Farm Angus beef burgers. He goes into complete meltdown, accusing his brother of supporting a competitor when Kenton owes him money. What about family loyalty? Good job David didn’t hear Kenton describe the Bridge Farm beef burgers as “beyond good.”

Kenton points out that Tony is family too and he cannot see what the problem is - Brookfield beef is on the menu on Sundays and their steaks are on the menu every day. David, who is very close to losing it, says “But they’re not on the Specials menu, are they!!!” I should point out that I believe that multiple exclamation marks are the sign of a troubled mind, but here I think they are justified. Kenton says that he is running a business here, to which David answers so is he, and it would help if his brother paid his long-overdue debt. “You’ll get your money” Kenton says “When!!!!” screams David (see above). 

Kenton then, rather unwisely, says that David doesn’t really need the money, as he inherited Brookfield. While all this is going on, Jill is flapping around, trying to calm people down. When David speaks, he is much calmer and says: “That’s it - I have no brother.” You can’t mean it!” Jill wails, to David’s retreating back as he leaves the pub. Ah! More internecine strife in the Archer family - we haven’t had one of those for - ooh, let’s think - it must be weeks.

While all this is going on, Elizabeth takes a phone call, which leaves her perplexed and worried - Camilla (Nigel’s sister) rang to say that Freddie called her and he wants to move out of Lower Loxley and go and live with her.

The back story to this is, at the recent Lower Loxley open day, Freddie was going to do some ‘behind the scenes’ tours of the usually-unvisited parts of the house, viewing hitherto-undisplayed artworks and furniture. A snip at £15. “If I only raise £200, it will help Lower Loxley’s petty cash” Freddie says, optimistically. For ‘optimistically’, read ‘wildly optimistically’, as Freddie’s tour should have been entitled ‘Britain’s Eurovision entry’, as it brought in precisely nothing.

Speaking to Kenton afterwards, he wondered what went wrong? Kenton said it was amateurish, overpriced and had numerous other failings. Kenton then spells out to his nephew exactly how precarious is Lower Loxley’s position as a business; without an alcohol licence it cannot continue and the reason it hasn’t got a licence is because Freddie is living there. Elizabeth won’t hear of him moving out, so we have an impasse. Kenton makes it clear - first the business will fold, and then the home will be lost.

Freddie says that it’s all his fault and it is now that he decides to go and live with Camilla. What his aunt feels about having a convicted drug dealer in her home is not known, but we assume that, from the speed with which she rang Elizabeth, she’s had better offers. Lily tries to persuade Freddie to stay, saying that, last night, she slept in Elizabeth’s room, as her mum is so fragile. Also, Camilla is a cow and doesn’t Freddie remember that they used to call her ‘donkey’? Freddie says he cannot keep messing up people’s lives: Billy (a fellow inmate whose friendship Freddie spurned and who tried to hang himself), Noluthando, and especially Elizabeth. “The only chance of mum getting better and making a success of Lower Loxley is for me to get the hell out of here. I’ve made up my mind - I’m leaving.” If he’s very good, perhaps Russ will drive him to Camilla’s.