You Have My Admiration, Natasha – And My Sympathy Too, Of Course

Mali Harries (Natasha)

When she first made her appearance in our favourite soap, I must admit I had my reservations about Natasha; from all accounts she is very attractive, as well as being an exceptionally clever and successful businesswoman. How sad then, many of us thought, that she is obviously a few sandwiches short of a picnic, when she started going out with Tom Archer. This opinion was modified when she married Tom – not so much short of a few sandwiches, rather the entire picnic, although she could always be a masochist, of course.

On Tuesday, the couple demonstrated the truth of the old adage ‘it’s an ill wind, etc, etc’ when they were congratulating themselves on launching Bridge Fresh (the online food ordering and delivery platform) at precisely the right time. While I don’t begrudge them their success, I think we could have done without the pandemic that contributed so much towards it. They also wonder what they can get Tony as a 70^th birthday present. “What has he got on his Bucket List?” Natasha wonders. “Probably a bucket” Tom replies, and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t joking.

Natasha notices that her husband is a bit distracted, and she shrewdly guesses that he’s concerned about Kirsty. He is worried that Natasha will not understand, but you can add ‘sensible’ (apart from when choosing a spouse, of course) to her list of attributes in paragraph one, when she says “Just because you stop loving someone doesn’t mean that you stop caring” she tells him and she urges her husband to go and see Kirsty and find out how she really is.

Tom does just that and Kirsty thinks that Helen sent him (the two girls have fallen out slightly over Kirsty’s insistence of roaming the streets, searching for Blake and his two fellow ‘slaves’), but Tom insists that he is worried about his very-nearly-ex-wife. Kirsty aims unerringly below the belt when she retorts “You didn’t worry about me when we were together, so why worry now?” Ouch! “I deserved that” Tom says, accurately and honestly, but Kirsty apologises. Instead of letting well alone, Tom rashly says “If there’s anything I can do to help…”

Funny you should say that Tom, me old mate, as Kirsty says that she is going to continue with her search for the three lads, so if Tom would really like to help her – how about tonight, or tomorrow night? Tom prevaricates, but we find out later that he has agreed to help Kirsty out by accompanying her in a couple of evenings’ time – or at least that’s what Kirsty thinks, and Tom does nothing to disabuse her.

Tom returns home and Natasha asks how did he get on? Tom is a bit evasive, but says that she seems to be getting on ok, all things considered. Natasha wonders if she could help in any way – perhaps she could give Kirsty a bell? “No, no!” replies a slightly-panicky Tom, adding: “I’ve got this.”

Thursday evening arrives and Natasha tells Tom that Helen is dropping Henry and Jack over tonight, while she’s busy. Tom says glumly that he has to go out to see someone. Later he confesses that the someone is Kirsty “But it’s nothing dodgy, honest.” “I never said that it was” his wife replies.

As the evening progresses, Tom tells Natasha about Kirsty’s search for Blake and the other lads and that he is supposed to be meeting her tonight, but he doesn’t know how to get out of it. Natasha is appalled and says she cannot believe that Tom is intending to ditch Kirsty – again. Oh dear – it must be getting a bit tender beneath that belt now, Tom. Natasha snatches up her car keys – where is she going? “To meet Kirsty – she shouldn’t be out there on her own” Natasha answers, leaving the words ‘and don’t bother to wait up for me’ unsaid, but hanging in the air.

Natasha finds Kirsty and produces a map of the town so they can mark off streets where they have made enquiries. Kirsty is surprised to see Natasha, who explains that Tom is delayed, but she wants to help. Well, I suppose it sounds better than ‘his yellow streak is playing him up again’ or ‘he’s trying to grow a backbone, the invertebrate’.

The two girls decide to call it a day after Natasha is hit by a can thrown at her (empty, of course – no down and out would risk losing a full can) and Natasha gives Kirsty a lift back to her car. Kirsty asks if she is being ridiculous, but she feels that she cannot just sit back and do nothing. Natasha assures her that she (Natasha) is there tonight by choice and Kirsty tells her that she is deeply appreciative.

As the girls walk, Natasha confesses that she is used to walking the streets at night in the rain (well, she did live in Wales). Before you start leaping to erroneous conclusions, it turns out that her dad suffered from bipolar disorder and would often go walkabout, so the whole family would turn out to look for him. Kirsty can only repeat how grateful she has been for Natasha’s help, but Natasha says no problem and, if Kirsty wants to go walking the streets again, she only has to say. “I’d be glad to help” Natasha adds. So, it seems like an unlikely friendship is developing, but I’d have given good money to eavesdrop on the conversation when Natasha got home to Tom. I hope he’d done the washing up, at least.

In this blog last week, we wondered about the future of Rewilding Ambridge, and there was another twist last week, when we learned that Pip had, after what seems like five seconds’ thought, decided to quit the project. This was not, Pip told her mother, a knee-jerk response to recent actions of that traitorous bastard Rex (I am paraphrasing here) but a considered response after due consideration of her workload and future commitments at Brookfield. Rooooth is not convinced, but Pip is adamant. Perhaps she should have added that another pressure is that her daughter appears to be a kleptomaniac, as Rosie keeps returning from nursery with another girl’s toy in her pocket, feigning amazement and innocence when it is discovered.

Brian has taken over from Justin as BL’s representative on Rewilding Ambridge and he has called a meeting to discuss the project. Brian is disconcerted when Justin turns up, but the latter says that he has some important news. Phoebe tells him that Rex cannot make the meeting and – oh yes - Pip has quit RA. Justin can’t resist a dig at Brian – since Brian took over, things have been going well, with one AWOL and one deserter; not bad out of a total of three. Brian retorts that his job is to prevent further reputational damage to BL after the Berrow/Phil Moss incident.

Phoebe tells them to keep their squabbles to themselves, and what is Justin’s news? It transpires that he has re-assessed his commitment to the barn/business units building project and it no longer figures in his plans. RA can either buy him out (he owns a major stake in the project) or they can put the units on the market. This was going to be RA’s new HQ, but Phoebe is not fazed and, to Justin’s indignation, she says that RA backing out of the project could be an advantage, as it distances them from accusations of working with slave labour.

When Justin has gone, Brian questions his granddaughter – isn’t she being a bit blasé? What will happen to RA if Brookfield wants Oakey Bank back? Phoebe says that that should not prove a problem and she reminds Brian that he warned her some time back about Justin interfering with RA – isn’t that exactly what Brian is doing now? It’s Brian’s turn to be indignant now and he tells his granddaughter that he is not interfering, but giving her the benefit of his considerable experience. Perhaps he is stung by the fact that Phoebe referred to the BL Board earlier as “dinosaurs”, but whatever, he obviously regards himself as the cavalry, riding to the rescue. “I think I’ve come on board just in time” he tells Phoebe, somewhat immodestly.

There was the latest in a spat between Archer siblings, when Shula told sister Elizabeth about her visit to Philip Moss in prison after he phoned her, begging for her help and understanding. Elizabeth is appalled that Shula actually went to see him – has she forgotten that the man was nearly responsible for the death of her son Freddie? Shula talks about her duty as a trainee priest, and how she felt that God was testing her and she feels that she failed and is questioning her abilities. Lizzie’s viewpoint is simpler “What I can’t understand is why you didn’t just tell him to go to hell!” Talking to Alistair later, Shula confesses that she is seriously wondering whether or not to continue the ordination process. Have her priorities become warped? As she tells Alistair “If it’s going to drive a wedge between me and my family, I don’t think I could bear it.”

The rift between the sisters disturbs Freddie, who says that he is probably the only person who can understand how Philip is feeling. Philip is facing a lengthy jail sentence, and Freddie says that he himself only just survived six months inside. He sits his mother down and tells her how much help Shula was when Elizabeth was suffering from depression – isn’t it time to return the favour? To cut a long story short, the two sisters make it up.

Freddie’s reward for being a peacemaker could come sooner than you might think – Vince’s daughter Stephanie (sorry, Steph) visits Lower Loxley to discuss wine with Elizabeth. Elizabeth is called away, and leaves Steph in the care of Freddie. Steph is convinced they have met before – Fred doesn’t think so, but it turns out they were both at the 2017 Isle of Wight Festival admittedly Fred was off his face for the duration.

Steph is very flirtatious and books Fred in for the DJ spot at her evening wedding disco. She keeps sending him risqué texts and, when she arranges to come over to L-L to discuss details, he enlists Lily’s help; on no account is she to leave them alone. Lily is amused, and goes off to get them some drinks. Steph takes the opportunity to ask Freddie if he is dating anybody? He replies in the negative and she says seductively “That’s good – it means you are a free agent.”

When Steph has gone, Lily questions her twin – was Steph looking for one last fling before tying the knot? Something like that, admits Freddie – in fact, he thinks that he has just declined a ménage a trois with Steph and her fiancé Liam. Steph showed Freddie a picture of Liam and he’s good looking, well-muscled and rich to boot. Lily asks how did Steph take this tactful rejection? The answer, says Freddie, was pretty well – Steph was cool about it, but she did ask Freddie whether he thought that Lily might be up for a threesome with her and Liam? How times change; when I was younger, the most exciting thing that happened at wedding receptions was uncles and aunties getting enthusiastically stuck into the Hokey Cokey and wondering whether or not to risk another Port & Lemon.