(Good) Life Of Brian?

Charles Collingwood (Brian Aldridge)

For a while there, I thought Pip was falling in love with Edana the heifer, then she revealed that she and friend Emily had made a pact to have no more relationships, so that can't be the case. With a rare flash of insight, Pip said to David "I must have been a real pain to be around these last few weeks." What is she talking about 'the last few weeks'? Make that the last 17 years, dear. Hopefully, with her rekindled interest in all things bovine and going back to college, we will hear less from her over the next few weeks.

The fete story dragged on and we learned that the murderer was… But you'll have to wait till next week. Listening to David and Bert learning their parts made me think "that's 15 minutes of my life I'll never have again."

Kenton and Kathy's relationship is going from bad to worse. I know Kenton isn't the most thoughtful of men – in fact, you could say that he's more self-centred than a black hole – but my God, can't Kathy whinge? The woman could moan for England: whatever Kenton does is wrong. Not a wonder the poor sod is kipping on Kirsty's sofa (and I do hope that the relationship goes no further). As he is so committed to Jaxx's, why doesn't he move a bed into the place?

Poor Joe Grundy – not only was he denied the part of the old retainer in the fete murder mystery (it reminds me of Vivian Stanshall's comedy LP, Sir Henry At Rawlinson End, where the butler was 'Scrotum – a wrinkled old retainer') but Joe was unceremoniously dismissed from the community shop rota in what will probably come to be known around Ambridge as 'courgettegate'. Joe's not much good as a scallywag is he? Every time he comes up with a scam, he cocks it up somehow. David must be pretty thick too not to have realised what Joe was up to.

A storyline that's developing nicely is the Borsetshire Land/Rodways/New Livestock Market saga. Everything seems to be going Brian's way – he managed to persuade the irascible Mr. Hastings to give BL the option to buy his land and drippy Benedict Wheeler of Rodways is falling over himself to do business with BL. In fact it's all going so swimmingly well that you just know that it's all going to go nads up before long and that Brian is riding for a fall of Humpty Dumpty proportions. Let's face it, it couldn't happen to a nicer bloke - I just hope that Matt has a hand in it somehow.