Realising he’s still overdrawn on brownie points, Jazzer plans to take drastic action by selling his beloved bike in the hope that Chelsea’s interest in two wheels abates. He goes to see ‘God Squad’ Alan Franks to see if he knows of anyone who would want it, but Alan’s interested himself as it’s exactly the same model and colour of bike he bought after first passing his test.
Amy’s not impressed, and neither is Usha, but Alan wants to buy it for sentimental reasons. The only spanner in the works is the reason Jazzer’s selling it in the first place - Chelsea. After Johnny offers to help with her English (he’s also dyslexic) they agree to meet after school, but Chelsea thinks this is some kind of date and dresses up. She wants to arrive ‘in style’ and asks Jazzer to take her there on the bike but he insists on her putting on leathers and changing her footwear, and of course has to wear a helmet. However Johnny makes it clear that he’s not keen on bikes or ‘biker chicks’ and the final straw is when he laughs at her helmet hair. With Johnny and Jazzer’s laughter ringing in her ears she storms out and walks home. With Chelsea now off bikes all that’s left is for Jazzer to break the bad news to Alan, who’s already joined the owners’ club in anticipation.
A chance encounter with Lily presents Chelsea with another opportunity to brush up on her English and help complete an essay she’s been struggling with. She invites herself round and, interrupting Russ’s dinner, launches straight into an animated replay of the saga over Jazzer’s bike. Once Chelsea’s finally paused for breath Lily starts being ever so formal about the theory of English composition. Russ, who’s been silently listening to the story, interrupts to say that Chelsea’s shown that she has creative energy that shouldn’t be stifled. Lily politely tells Russ to butt out as having two teachers will confuse the poor girl. Quite right, he agrees, and suggests that Chelsea chooses whom her teacher should be. She doesn’t hesitate to say that Russ should, he being an actual former teacher, whereas Lily “just sells kitchens”.
He has quite the task on his hands and starts with the difference between ‘their’, ‘there’ and ‘they’re’. How to repay him? Offer to cut his hair of course as Russ’s usual place, Borset Barnet, has closed down. Lily’s looking forward to the humiliation and Russ finds the experience excruciating if not frightening, in fear of keeping both his ears attached. However not only does Russ retain his ability to wear glasses, he is audibly shocked to discover that his new haircut is really rather good.
Someone else who turns out to be rather good is Blake who is quite the craftsman, turning Jazzer’s abortive efforts into a fine set of shelves in no time, even cleaning up after himself. Jazzer manages to find more jobs that need doing around the house, and they plan to carry on tomorrow after a visit to the builders merchants. Once they get talking Alistair discovers that Blake is very fond of animals and they swap stories over sandwiches. Alistair wants to pay Blake for his work, but the concept of wages eludes Blake as Philip never actually paid him, only providing basic food and accommodation. Alistair gives him the money and he’s very grateful, if a little overawed. Both Alistair and Jazzer see an opportunity to get Blake out working on odd jobs for others in the village.
But there’s another opportunity for Blake, and one that comes from a very unlikely source. His name crops up while Brian’s giving Martyn ‘I’m not a monster’ Gibson a tour of Berrow Farm. Martyn’s impressed that Jazzer’s taken Blake under his wing and suggests that Blake is given a formal contract to work as a casual maintenance man at the farm. What Neil or deputy Hannah will say is anyone’s guess as they weren’t been consulted on the matter.
Over at Home Farm Stella’s bemoaning the lack of labour to complete all the jobs that need doing. Although both Stella and Brian could fill in, she’s going to set up a pool of tractor drivers so that they always have someone available. Stella wants to start spraying but Brookfield’s sheep are all over the land grazing. No one seems to have given permission so Brian suggests she goes round and introduces herself and mention the sheep at the same time.
David and Roooooth have their hands full weighing bullocks, so it’s Pip who receives her, but the first meeting doesn’t go well. Stella’s very pushy and demands the sheep are moved right away, but Pip sticks to her guns and says she’ll move them in the morning. Stella’s not impressed, much to Brian’s surprise, and wants to move the two farm’s dealings on a more formal footing. I don’t think that’s the last we’ll hear about issues between Pip and Stella, especially as Brian let slip that it was Pip whose mistake it was that resulted in an outbreak of Infectious Bovine Rhinotracheitis spreading to Home Farm.
Lilian’s still on cold turkey and is suffering from nicotine withdrawal, the main symptom of which seems to be irritability. Roooooth gets both barrels of Lil’s tongue when she tries to get her to change her harvest supper contribution from desert to starters or mains as she thinks she’s been put on the wrong list. Lilian takes offence that people don’t think she’s much of a baker, a situation that’s made worse when Roooooth reveals she actually allowed Jenny to change from providing a starter to a desert.
Lil is full of regrets which Shula picks up on when they’re getting ready to go out riding together. Shula’s feeling under the weather too as managing the stables alongside her ordination studies is getting her down, and Lilian suggests she comes round later for something to eat. The ride does Lilian good and she apologises to Roooooth, but she’s also had a bit of an epiphany (although strictly speaking that should be Shula’s department) suggesting that she and Justin should invest their spare money in the stables. A tad more dignified than a luxury yacht methinks.
Finally, I have to say to the scriptwriters that I didn’t think the name of Russ’s defunct barbers, Borset Barnet, really worked - I’d have gone for Borsetshair. Sounds a bit like Borsetshire? Oh, never mind - I’m wasted here).
Rip Bert fry
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