Do What Mummy Tells You, Tony

David Troughton (Tony Archer)

We have noted in the past that Peggy can be a bit of a tyrant when she puts her mind to it, and that the person on the receiving end is, more often than not, son Tony. She was at it again last week when the Archer clan gathered at The Bull to mark Peggy’s 95^th birthday. Also there was Joy Horville, who was sitting on her own - it appears that the much-heralded visit of super-daughter Rochelle and her wunderkinds didn’t happen - and Peggy feels a pang of sympathy for her.

So, does Peggy go over and make conversation? Not exactly; instead she tells Tony that he ought to apologise to Joy for going off on one when she criticised his flyer, which depicted a graphic photograph of a heifer with severe internal damage, caused by the metal frame of a sky lantern. He told Joy, in no uncertain terms that the countryside is not all about cuddly lambkins, but can be bloody and cruel, as well as being hard work. Rather taken aback, Joy backed off and was upset. 

Tony would rather eat a sky lantern himself than apologise to Joy, but Peggy is relentless, going on at him all the time. In the end, he capitulates and goes over to see Joy. For heaven’s sake man - you will be 69 next February; isn’t it about time you grew a pair and stood up to your mother?

To his surprise, when he says ’sorry’ to Joy, she says that it is she who should be apologising, as she jumped the gun and went off without thinking it through. “It’s water under the bridge” Tony tells her and they have a friendly conversation. Tony is further surprised when he realises that Joy is, in fact, quite a nice person when you get to know her. As for her, she says “thank you Tony - you’ve really cheered me up no end.” This last remark was overheard by Kate, who says, teasingly, “Uncle Tony, what was all that about?” Kate then adds that she hopes that Pat didn’t see him and Joy together “You’ve put a spring in Joy’s step, that’s for sure” his niece adds.

We have further evidence that Joy is a kind person when she agrees to have one of Hilda’s kittens after seeing a video on Kate’s phone. I do wonder whether we are being set up for a scandal as, later in the week, Tony stops beside a broken-down car to see if he can help. It is Joy and, to his delight, she is driving an MG Midget. “I’ve got one of those!” he says, excitedly and offers to tow Joy’s car to Bridge Farm, where he can have a look at it and, hopefully, fix it. Will romance blossom under an opened bonnet? I suppose an old MG makes a change from etchings.

On her birthday, Peggy says that she was contacted by the Borsetshire Echo, who would like to run a special feature ‘At home with Peggy Woolley’ Tony wonders why and Joy told him it’s because she is a local celebrity - just look at the money her Trust is giving to the rewilding project. This gives Tony food for thought and he decides to make some checks.

So it is that he turns up at The Lodge on Friday with some rather disturbing news - he spoke to the Editor of the Echo, who told him that nobody of the name that Tony told him works for the paper. Tony tells his mother that the publicity surrounding Peggy’s Trust has made Peggy a target for scammers and thieves and the man was obviously trying to get access to the house to check on what he could steal. 

Peggy is alarmed - she never considered it was a scam, or that she would be taken in, but Tony reminded her about Chris, who lost over £50k a year or two back. What can they do? Tony has the idea of going back through the phone’s call log and he obtains the man’s mobile number (they always make one mistake, don’t they?). It goes to voicemail and Tony leaves a message, saying that they know the man is not a journalist and he had better keep away. Oh yes; and they have given this number to the police. Wouldn’t it have been better and more public-spirited if they had allowed the man to turn up for his appointment with Peggy, only to find the place crawling with policemen?

At Brookfield, Leonard is getting his feet well and truly under the table. And not just the table; Jill has an accident in the kitchen and has a fall. David is all for taking her to A&E, but Leonard offers to take her, as he knows David is busy. This is in fact what happens and the pair spend a lengthy day at the hospital, where Jill’s wrist is x-rayed. It turns out to be a nasty sprain and the hour is late when they get back to the farm.

Leonard says he had best be off home, but Jill protests that he was yawning in the car and it’s a long drive, so why doesn’t he stay the night? Steady on Jill - but it’s not what it seems, as Jill adds that she is sure that either Josh or Ben would give up their room (not without putting up a fight, I’d bet). The matter is settled when Jill says “David - you’ll lend Leonard a pair of pyjamas, won’t you?” 

A few days later, David is on to the phone to Elizabeth and he complains that Leonard has as good as moved in - he arrives early in the morning and leaves late at night and is doing cooking and cleaning and generally looking after Jill all day long (she has been forbidden from doing any household chores and has her wrist in a sling until told otherwise by the doctor). David tells his sister that he feels like a stranger in his own house and “she’s our mum and we’re capable of looking after her ourselves.” Elizabeth (presumably not enamoured of the prospect of running over from Lower Loxley every time Jill fancies a cuppa) makes the point that, if Jill is happy, then it’s surely up to her? David makes one last attempt to make Lizzie see reason, saying “But he’s helping her with her clothes; doing up her buttons - and [pause] things.” David, surely the time to get worried is when Leonard starts undoing her buttons and her things?

There was drama in the Grundy household when Lilian inadvertently let slip to Mia that Will had given up his job and, as a result, had lost the tenancy of Greenwood cottage. Mia is not best pleased at not having been told and turns on Will, who is in despair at having blown his relationship with his stepdaughter once again. Clarrie talks to Mia, who says that she can never go home now. Clarrie tells her that the cottage is only bricks and mortar and what’s more important are Mia’s memories and the fact that she has her loving family round her. This obviously had the desired effect as, a couple of days later, Will and Mia are having a last look round Greenwood before leaving for the last time. The pair reminisce about things they did there when Nic was alive and Will breaks down in tears, saying to Mia that he is so sorry about losing the house. She tells him it is OK - as Clarrie said, the house is only bricks and mortar, and Mia has her memories.

Elizabeth has decided that there should be another attraction to add alongside Deck the Halls and that is to tell Victorian ghost stories, up in the attic, along with the cobwebs, creaky floorboards and dust sheets (all to add atmosphere). She envisages an audience of around 20 at a time and the room lit by candles. She asks Jim Lloyd if he could research some stories for her and he is only too pleased to do so. He asks her if she’d like to hear one and, when he has finished, Elizabeth is all over goose pimples - she was terrified (but in a nice way).

Elizabeth was going to hire an actor to read, but says that Jim is perfect for the part. He protests that he is not a performer, but she reminds him of his role in the Canterbury Tales and his years spent lecturing. Jim still demurs, but then Lizzie utters the magic words “I’ll pay you, of course” and Jim changes his mind, especially when she says that he can have mulled wine and mince pies for each show. Hang on Elizabeth - sod Jim Lloyd; I’ll do it and you can keep the mince pies, as I don’t particularly like them. Toss in a glass of whisky instead of mulled wine (or as well as - I’m not proud) and I’m your man.

While we are at Lower Loxley, we should look in on Lily and Russ. Lily has been a bit discontented recently and Russ is trying to make amends by getting on with his divorce. He and Elizabeth have a heart-to-heart and Russ tells her that he feels a bit isolated - Lily has her family and her new friends at work, while he sits in the gallery all day, with strangers popping in every now and then. He’s given up a lot for Lily, who he loves very much, but he’s finding the mechanics of the divorce, such as splitting up the assets, “very intrusive.”

Towards the end of the week, Lily is looking at photos sent by her friend Imogen of Freddie’s party. Russ, looking over her shoulder, comments on one photo of her and Johnny, looking very cosy. Lily tells him he has no need to worry, as Johnny is besotted with his girlfriend Bella, who he believes is ‘The One’ for him. She continues to look at her phone and suddenly announces that she’s going out. Russ asks what has he done now? Lily replies that she has other things than him on her mind and she has to go out. As she leaves, a puzzled Russ cries out “Am I still in the doghouse, or not?”

‘Out’ for Lily means dragging Freddie away from his job (he is julienning - if indeed there is such a word - carrots, in case you are interested) and Lily shows him one of Imogen’s photographs. It is of Bella and a man, whose face is obscured and it’s obvious that they know each other very well. “Perhaps it’s an innocent kiss” Lily suggests “Have you seen where his hand is?” her twin replies.

Lily says that Johnny believes Bella is the one for him and Freddie says how can she be if she’s behaving like that? What should they do? “Tell Johnny, of course” Freddie answers. “How? It will break his heart” Lily says.

Undoubtedly we will learn how next week, but I am wondering ‘who?’ Let’s think - the incident took place in The Bull. Bella works behind the bar there. Who else works behind the bar at the pub? It’s obviously someone Bella knows. Also, someone who is attractive to women and someone who has previous when it comes to hitting on other men’s girlfriends and - let’s be honest - has the morals of an alley cat. Nope, I can’t think of anyone, although the initials ‘TF’ keep floating into my mind. It can’t be Tom Forrester, as he’s dead - it’s a black mystery and I hope this blog gets posted before we learn the identity of the mystery kisser.