The Next Lady Of The Manor?

Katie Redford (Lily Pargetter)

Despite being the younger twin, Freddie Pargetter is destined to inherit Lower Loxley when Elizabeth shuffles off this mortal coil. Or is he? Last week Lily took the initiative when Elizabeth was incapacitated with the flu and, with a bit of help from Shula, took over the organising of the Hunt Ball. And an excellent job she made of it too.

Not only that, but she enjoyed doing it, telling her mother “this is my home, after all.” For her part, Elizabeth was impressed and says “you could pretty much run Lower Loxley single-handed.” We also learned that, as far as living with Russ in Manchester and going to Uni is concerned, the glamour appears to have worn off for Lily and it isn’t the life that she envisaged. Russ doesn’t seem to be enjoying life much, either – in one of his numerous ‘when are you coming home?’ phone calls to Lily last week, he tells her that she is his muse and he cannot work when she isn’t there. Perhaps he could do a bit of decorating instead; he is a painter, after all.

I do wonder whether Lily might be considering chucking university and instead working full time at the stately pile, taking over from Geraldine. Think of the benefits – a salary, a place to live and, if she plays her cards right, she could become the next mistress of Lower Loxley, leaving Freddie to concentrate on his drugs business or whatever. We’ll have to wait and see.

Eddie Grundy and David Archer asked the question that I have been asking for years; to wit, why do they always cave in to Lynda Snell year after year? It’s because you are both great wooses lads. Eddie especially had a hard time, as he forgot which day rehearsals were on and, when he did turn up belatedly, he hadn’t learned any of his lines. “I was going to learn them tomorrow” he tells Lynda, after enduring a tongue-lashing. Oh yes? Been taking speed-reading lessons, have we Eddie?

He spent the afternoon, along with Oliver and Joe, in pressing apples for this year’s batch of cider, before being summoned by a phone call from Lynda. He tells Joe he’ll see him down The Bull later, but Joe isn’t keen, as Oliver will be behind the bar and Joe is resentful that Oliver got the job and he didn’t. But never mind! Joe has a cunning plan for revenge and, when Eddie buys him a pint of cider, Joe slips a dead fly into it, crowing that he knew Oliver was no good as a bartender.

A belligerent Joe approaches the bar, saying “I wants words with you Oliver Sterling” but David, to whom Oliver is talking, tells Joe to be quiet for a minute. Oliver is saying how much he is enjoying the work and, in an odd way, it makes him feel closer to Caroline, who used to work at The Bull – he can really feel her presence and it comforts him. Oliver then asks Joe what he wanted and a shamefaced Joe stammers that he wanted a packet of pork scratchings. Who would have credited Joe Grundy with such sensitivity?

Speaking of sensitivity, our thoughts turn to Tom Archer. Last week we accused him of having the sensitivity of a cast iron condom, but let me assure you, ladies and gentlemen, that we were wrong – if you multiplied Tom’s sensitivity by 100, then you might be getting somewhere near cast iron condom levels – the man doesn’t have a sensitive nerve in his body.

Last week saw the much-awaited trip to Glasgow and the Nuffield presentation. When Tom returns, Johnny (who had been left behind by Tom, Pat and Tony to run the farm single-handedly) asked him how he had got on with Natasha. The answer was “very well” – indeed, he and Natasha spent the night together. “And?” prompts Johnny. “And that, Johnny, is none of your business.” Tom replies.

Johnny asks Tom if he is going to tell Hannah about getting it on with Natasha. Tom seems genuinely surprised and answers “of course”, asking Johnny why he asked. Johnny replies that Hannah might feel a bit resentful but Mr. Sensitive pooh-poohs this, describing his relationship with Hannah as “friends with benefits.” We don’t have long to wait, as Hannah enters the room. Johnny retires to his bed, partly out of diplomacy, but mostly because he is totally knackered, having been up half the night.

Tom loses no time in telling Hannah that she missed out on a great time, which was insensitive, as she wanted to go but Tom said no, because he wanted to be with Natasha. He then told Hannah that he and Natasha spent the night together and it was “fantastic.” He thanked Hannah for choosing the jacket for him to wear and he says that his relationship with Hannah gave him the confidence to get involved with a woman again and, rather ambiguously, he describes Hannah as “easy.” We can only assume that he meant ‘easy to be with’ rather than ‘a total slapper’, but with Tom, who can tell? He does tell Hannah that Natasha is fantastic “and I think she might be ‘The One’.“ He then thanks Hannah for doing him the most massive favour. Sensitive right to the end, eh Tom?

It appears that there might be romance on the horizon for Tom’s sister as well, as Helen has a coffee at The Laurels with Lee, the karate instructor. Helen is there visiting Chris and Lee runs fitness classes for the inhabitants (inmates?). It turns out that Lee is separated from the mother of his two daughters and she is sometimes difficult about letting him have access. He shows her photos of the girls and he and Helen appear to be getting on well. Later on that day, Helen and Emma are attending the kids’ karate class, where the children are receiving their red belts. Lee praises the kids for their achievement and Emma describes him as “a great teacher” who has done wonders for Keira. Helen thinks Lee is very approachable and she will definitely go to the next adult karate class.

Tuesday was Brian Aldridge’s 75^thbirthday and he is up early, moaning that he couldn’t sleep. There is a knock on the door – who can that be at 6.30 am? It’s Will, and he is very flustered – today is the day of a big corporate shoot and Will went out to check the drives, only to find that they have been wrecked by joyriders. Will thinks they will have to cancel the event, but Brian says let’s just have a look at the damage before we act hastily.

The pair do just that, and Brian thinks that a couple of the drives can be salvaged and, if they are not used until the afternoon, then the birds will have returned. Other parts of the estate are perfectly OK and, by swapping these with some of the damaged drives, Brian thinks that a good day’s shooting can still be had by all.

Later on, Will returns and, in answer to Brian’s question, says that the day had been “brilliant” and he did very well on the tips. Will says the guns thanked him, but their thanks should be aimed at Brian. Brian refuses to take any credit, saying that Will is a top class keeper and it was the fact that he had other drives in a good condition that saved the day. The credit is entirely Will’s says Brian. “Well, I learned from the best” says Will, adding that things just aren’t the same without Brian being around. When Will has gone, Brian tells Jenny that “Will’s compliment was the nicest birthday present anyone could have given me.” He goes on: “I’ve still got it, haven’t I? I may be 75, but the old magic is still there.” Let’s not get too carried away Brian.

Recently we have had a few comments along the lines of the current storylines are concentrating too much on the bad behaviour of the younger members of the village and no doubt the joyriding story above will be held up as another example of this. But who were the joyriders? Roy phones PCB to tell him that there is a pick-up upside down in a ditch and he thought PCB ought to know. Harrison thanks Roy, telling him that it’s his day off, but he will go and take a look anyway. I’m surprised that the guardians of the law in Ambridge are allowed days off but I suppose the poor sod has to sleep sometimes.

For a while, we were left in suspense – could it be Ben and Ruairi up to their old tricks? Maybe Ruairi fancied one last hurrah before being packed off to boarding school again? Of course, PCB knows nothing of the two boys’ night-time motoring exploits and there are a couple of amusing moments when he asks David and Brian if they have been aware of any increase in the amount of joyriding. They both deny any such knowledge and are mightily relieved when PCB tells them that the joyrider has been apprehended – it turned out that he was already known to the police and his fingerprints were all over the vehicle. In a way, it’s a pity that it wasn’t Ben or Ruairi – they could have been company for Freddie.