Brian Hewlett Neil Carter)
Never let it be said that Neil Carter never takes his wife anywhere - on Tuesday he took her to see his new office at Berrow Farm. It obviously doesn’t take much to get Susan excited, as she was breathless when she caught sight of Neil’s swivel chair and practically orgasmic that he has windows; not one window, but at least two, giving him a view of the entire operation. So impressed was she that she took a photograph of him sitting at his desk.
“Just think,” she says, “next year you might be the Borsetshire businessman of the year.” I hate to disillusion you Susan, but I think you have to do a little more than have a swivel chair to sit on and windows to look out of. But wait - Neil also has a computer and we know this because he received an e-mail from Justin, asking him to check out the C.V.s of applicants for jobs at the pig unit. I do wonder whether Neil will take to office life, as, when he and Rex are feeding the pigs, he remarks wistfully that he is going to miss being outside with his pigs. Never mind Neil, just think of the £55k salary.
Changing the subject, how much longer will it be before Will lets slip his part in covering up Nic’s hit-and-run incident? The man would make a lousy poker player, as he goes to pieces at the slightest provocation. Consider; PC Burns turns up and mentions that he has been talking to Ed. Will immediately goes on the defensive, calling his brother ‘a fantasist’ and that PCB shouldn’t believe a word he says. A mystified PCB says that he just wanted to ask Will if he would be playing cricket any time soon. “Why are you in uniform?” Will demands. “I’m on my way to work” the copper replies.
Later on, Will comes across Ed and Emma. They are talking about Brian Aldridge and Emma reckons that he is guilty of causing the contamination at Low Mead. Will immediately gets the wrong end of the stick and, when Emma goes off to do some washing, he starts moaning to Ed, saying that he (Will) was a fool for placing himself in Ed’s power and why doesn’t Ed grass him up to the police? “About what?” Ed asks and Will says “About what we talked about in the cider shed on Friday.” Ed immediately says that he was so bladdered that night that he has no recollection what they talked about - it’s a total blank. In fact, he’s forgotten all about that night and he suggests that Will does the same.
Good advice, Will. If you keep wandering about with outstretched arms, muttering ’OK, it’s a fair cop, put the ’cuffs on me’ then people will start asking awkward questions and just might begin to dig a little deeper into your weird behaviour.
Emma was in full moaning mode last week and I have to say that, for once, she had some justification. Having Will, Jake, Mia and Poppy living at Grange Farm is far from ideal. Jake and George are sharing a room and are always squabbling, while Will seems to think that the washing is done by fairies and that meals appear on the table magically. Add to this the fact that Will is her ex-husband and the situation is far from ideal. Even worse, Emma seems to be the only person to cook, wash and clean and she is annoyed because this means she cannot work at the Tea Room as often as she’d like and thus isn’t saving as much towards the new house.
Emma is also a bit miffed because she and Ed weren’t consulted about Will and family moving in. Clarrie is worried about Will and asks Emma if she minds if he and the kids stay on for a bit? Em is not at all happy, but grudgingly agrees that “another week or two won’t hurt.” Imagine then, how happy Emma was to learn that Clarrie told Will that he could stay as long as he liked.
Over at Home Farm, the palace revolution that saw Brian forced to give up day-to-day involvement with the farm has made the situation unpleasant. Brian, who is 74, going on 6, has taken his bat and ball away and is refusing to speak to most of his family and is sleeping in the spare room. Adam is struggling to understand Brian’s filing system and, when Jennifer asks Brian to help, he continues with his impression of a spoiled toddler and says huffily that it’s nothing to do with him; Adam wanted control of the farm and now he’s got it.
What makes things more complicated is that, on the Friday, the BL board is meeting to discuss the arable contract and whether Home Farm should continue to run it or not. Adam is worried, because Brian won’t reveal what he is going to say or do and, should they lose the contract, the financial repercussions would be severe.
Before the meeting starts, Brian reveals that he has decided to retire from working on Home Farm. Not only that, but he thinks the time is right to resign as BL Chairman and he invites Annabelle, as Vice Chair, to conduct the rest of the meeting. Afterwards, we learn that the board agreed to keep the contract with Adam and slimeball Martyn Gibson tells Brian that he was most surprised about Brian’s announcement and who does he think should be the new Chairman? Brian replies that he thought Annabelle handled the meeting very well. Adam makes a short speech, praising Brian for his work in building up the business and, when the two talk privately afterwards, Adam says that he meant every word of what he said.
So, does this mean that the hatchet has been buried and everything is now OK? It would appear not, as Brian tells Adam “I only did what I did to protect the farm - don’t think for one moment that I did it to help you.” So, the toys are still being thrown out of the pram and we can assume that the spare room will remain occupied. And what of Jennifer in all this? Brian accuses her of turning against him, with Adam, and, when she protests that she cares about him very much, he sneeringly accuses her of “playing the part of the supportive wife.” Jennifer says that it is a part she has played for over 40 years but Brian is still bitter, saying “Yes, and now you’ve betrayed me. Does that not trouble your conscience even a tiny bit?” Grow up man, for God’s sake!
There were difficult times for Shula last week. Jim turned up on Easter Monday, bearing an egg from Underwoods, and was stunned when Shula said that she and Alistair were separating - he thought the row that they had last week was just a blip, or that’s what Alistair told him. Shula suggests that he should talk to Alistair to find out the situation. Jim does so and asks Alistair what did he do to drive Shula away and is Alistair having an affair? The answers to these are ‘nothing’ and ‘no’ but Jim insists that Alistair must be in some way culpable. Alistair repeats that he doesn’t understand what’s going on but he rejects Jim’s offer of a room and says that he hasn’t given up hope yet. “Good for you” says Jim, “Determination and perseverance - your marriage is worth fighting for.”
Shula also got it in the neck from Jill, who told Alan that she is convinced that Shula has made the wrong decision. Bless her, Jill seems to think that, if Shula puts her mind to it, everything will suddenly become hunky dory and she will fall back in love with Alistair. You have to admire the woman’s optimism. Shula is getting fed up of having to explain things to her mother and, as she says to sister Elizabeth, Jill hardly batted an eyelid when Kenton and his wife split up.
The difference appears to be that Jill regards Alistair like a son. For his part, Alistair wants Shula to listen to his side of the argument and he suggests counselling. She rejects this, saying that picking apart their marriage won’t rekindle her love for him and he should accept that their marriage is over. Angrily, Alistair says that, in that case, there’s no point in him hanging round The Stables and he’s off to live with Jim. As he is leaving, Jill comes round and he tells her what’s happening. Jill offers to talk to Shula and Alistair says there’s no point, as she has made up her mind.
But this is Jill and she wastes no time in confronting her daughter. Alistair is devastated (she knows) Shula has broken his heart (she knows that too). What has he done to deserve this? (Nothing). Once again Jill says that all marriages go through difficult periods but you have to work through them. Shula is starting to get fed up with all this advice and says sharply “I don’t think that details of my marriage are any of your business.” Jill then asks her if she wants to grow old alone and Shula replies that all her family are around Ambridge except Dan. Jill recalls that she couldn’t cope being alone when Phil died, to which her daughter says that she isn’t Jill and, at 59, she doesn’t feel old and she’s looking forward to new adventures. ”Now please let’s talk about something else.” Carry on in the same vein much longer, Jill and you will have one estranged daughter on your hands.
The person I feel really sorry for is Alistair. When Jim offered him the spare room, he did mention that it’s become a bit more cramped than before, as he took his music teacher’s advice and bought a piano, instead of the electronic keyboard. According to Jazzer, who also lives at Jim’s, Jim is wont to play this instrument for hours on end and it’s doing Jazzer’s head in, as he‘s not very good at it. Truly, Alistair’s cup runneth over - here he is, marriage over, sleeping on a futon in his father’s house and having to share the house with a piano-crazy, misanthropic old man and, if that weren’t enough, with Jazzer as well - it’s hard to see how it can get much worse.
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