Charlotte Martin (Susan Carter)
We start this week where we left off, with Neil confined
to his bed. Emma’s worried about the prospect of him retiring and what that
would mean for the family’s income. She seems to be pinning her hopes on Susan’s
Kefir, but as we know Tom has already ruled out developing it any further. Even
so, she’s still banging on about it to Helen and wants her to put up big
displays about healthy guts in the shop, with diagrams and everything. Lynda
pops in to the dairy to milk Lynda and Scarlett and Susan follows her because
she wants to have a go. Lynda suggests she washes her hands first, but Susan
tells her she did before she left the dairy (a little tip Susan; when working
in food production, never pass up an opportunity to wash your hands. Remember what
happened to Clarrie). Susan sets about the goats with the subtlety of a
bell-ringer and naturally upsets them, but Lynda does give her food for thought
- make kefir from goats milk, which is more likely to appeal to those with an
interest in health.
This sounds even more disgusting than using cows milk
to me, but Susan passes it off as her own idea, and Helen agrees to talk to Tom
about it. He agrees to give it a go, which means the scriptwriters are
determined to keep this storyline going, so perhaps Neil will be able to retire
after all when his wife becomes a kefir magnate.
Meanwhile at Home Farm, Will’s dog, Kai,
demonstrates excellent taste by barking at Brian who is lurking in the
undergrowth. Brian’s out walking, trying to clear his head in preparation for
tomorrow’s visit from the Environment Agency inspectors. It’s worse than that
Brian; Environment Agency inspectors are one thing but Ambridge’s newest parish
councillor is on the case too, having received several complaints about the
contaminated land. Emma wastes no time tracking him down and is soon pressing
him for guarantees about the outcome. Will sees this from across the yard and
drags his happy self over in order to give his ex-wife some grief, failing to
understand that Emma’s constituents need answers. In the end he all but throws
her off the farm by threatening trespass in the belief that he’s sticking up
for his employer. To give Emma credit she does realise that Brian is also Ed’s
employer and Emma realises that she has to tread carefully lest he lose his
job. This doesn’t stop Ed going round and hammering on his brothers’ front door
though. They have it out on Will’s doorstep, and Ed delivers a stark warning; “wind
your neck in, or you’ll have me to answer to”.
Brian feels that he’s being blamed for the
contamination and seeks counsel from David. David uses his own experience of
the IBR crisis as an example (during which I don’t recall Brian being that
reluctant to throw accusations of blame David’s way) and afterwards seems
emboldened to the struggles that lie ahead. This includes the struggle within
his own family, as Adam insists that it’s a matter for the family partnership
and can’t be left to Brian alone. Brian assures Adam that he’s working ‘tirelessly’
to sort it out, but when Neil asks him to attend a public meeting to answer
questions, he gets cold feet at the prospect of a room full of Emma Grundys.
There is some good news for Brian though; at a family meeting called by Adam, they
finally agree to stand united and face what may come together.
Incidentally, the contaminated land was the subject
of a report on Radio 4’s Inside Science programme this week. This strikes me as
an easy way for Radio 4 to generate content and fill their schedule. Let me
help them out; More or Less could discuss Jim’s estimates against the Grundy’s
actual production of Tumble Tussock cider, Woman’s Hour could do a phone-in on
surrogate mothers, The Food Programme could look at the rise of the super-food
and apparent cure-all kefir, The Kitchen Cabinet could pass round the Scruff
gin, Dr Mark Porter could examine the symptoms of trichloroethylene (TCE)
poisoning, Law in Action could weigh up liability between Brian and the
builders he allowed to dump on his land, Money Box can look at whether Brian’s
insurance will cover him, and All in the Mind could discuss Noluthando’s
experience of taking drugs. If I’ve forgotten any then I’m sure our loyal
readers will suggest more.
Neil’s still too poorly to chair the actual meeting
and has asked David to stand in for him, much to Emma’s disappointment as she
had prepared herself to be chair. Brian makes some opening remarks to outline
the current situation, but gets heckled, principally by Emma, who wants to know
if he knew about the dumped chemicals. Philip Moss, a local builder, stands up
for Brian but is accused by Kirsty of being in league with big landowners in
the destruction of the countryside.
After the meeting Alice is knocking back Pinot
Grigio in the Bull and Nic, who is behind the bar and had earlier prevented her
from drink-driving, is concerned. She persuades her to have a mojito instead of
another glass of wine, but doesn’t put any rum in it. Kenton notices, and also
sees that she charges full price for the mocktail. Kenton understands her motivation,
but points out that she’s actually committed a fraud, and in any case, shouldn’t
interfere. I agree, but fear there’s more to come concerning Alice’s apparent
fondness for the bottle.
Kirsty runs into Philips Moss again while she’s
taking a break from delivering information sheets about the dangers of TCE
contamination. She’s gone birding and Philip’s making repairs to a bird hide –
free of charge. They start talking about the birds they’ve seen - he seems to
be quite the environmentalist - and I wonder whether they’ll eventually bond
over a shared hobby.
Over at Brookfield, it’s not just Brian’s
contaminated land that’s on their minds. Roooooth and Pip are having a riveting
conversation about parlour designs (I’m sure, like me, you suspected fast exit
systems seem to be the way forward). Roooooth’s not sure, what with Pip being
pregnant, that now’s the right time to invest £300k in a new milking parlour.
Josh isn’t happy either, as he’s going to have to cover for his sister during
lambing while trying to run his own business (of which we’ve heard very little
lately).
From one pregnancy to another, albeit a potential,
one. Ian and Adam break the news to Jennifer that they’ve found an egg donor
and that Lexi will be the surrogate. Jennifer’s initially less than pleased and
is worried that they don’t know Lexi well enough - what if she won’t hand the
baby over? She does however agree that Lexi can use the holiday cottage while
she’s pregnant and soon starts trying to feed her up, sending her gift hampers
and cooking special meals to take round to her, even though she’s not even
pregnant yet.
Finally, lets consider Alan’s idea for giving
something up for Lent this year. It’s ‘complaining’. Stop complaining or pay a
fine. With Lynda and Susan the first to sign up, this could be a
record-breaking year!
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