In Cocktails Veritas?

Simon Williams (Justin Elliott)

I was annoyed this week, as I had already thought of the title of the blog on Tuesday and Justin spoilt it for me. It was Halloween night in The Bull and Alice was working her way slowly – well, not that slowly – through the list of gruesomely-named cocktails. Her favourite appeared to be ‘Dark & Stormy Killer Punch’, but she gave them all a go.

The main topic of conversation is that of Matt being found in a ditch, badly injured, but hanging on and there is an awkward silence when Justin walks in the pub. He had been in the previous night, looking for Matt and not in the best of tempers and went out when he learned that Matt had stepped outside (Matt had been hitting the malt with a vengeance and had told Lilian on the phone that he wanted her to come away with him and should he send a taxi to the Hunt Ball to pick her up?). Sadly, Lilian wasn’t near her phone and Justin answered it silently and heard Matt’s inebriated plea.

Fast forward to The Bull the next night and Alice drunkenly said that it was a pity that the do wasn’t fancy dress, as Justin could have come as the Grim Reaper. “Even if it wasn’t you Justin,” she slurs drunkenly, “someone taking Matt out like that saved you from having to do the job.” In the sudden, shocked silence that followed this pronouncement, Alice can be heard saying “What? What did I say?” in a puzzled voice.

It was the next day, when Jennifer was apologising to Justin for her daughter’s gaffe, that he said “in vino veritas” – he’d allowed Matt to get under his skin. I was annoyed, as my title had been hijacked, but hey ho.

Let’s discuss Alice in more detail – the girl certainly knows how to put the drink away and she is obviously talented, as everybody who looks at her offers her a job on the spot, but she doesn’t seem to know when, or how, to stop. And she has previous; apart from Halloween, she got drunk and climbed up (and jumped from) a tree at the party to celebrate Chris’s purchase of the farrier business (see ‘Same Old, Same Old’ in August this year). Before that, at another do, Alice and Pip were arguing about who was the better farmer. Once again, strong drink had been quaffed and Alice had the keys to Adam’s brand new tractor, or drill, or some other bit of agricultural kit and decided to take it for a drive to settle matters. She only got a few yards before she crunched it. As I said, she seems a nice enough girl, but once she gets a sniff of the barmaid’s apron she loses it completely and does, or says, something unwise. If I were husband Chris I would give her some drug that reacts violently after the fourth cocktail has been downed – such things must exist, surely?

But what of Matt while all this is going on? Having been found by a taxi driver and taken to hospital, he is in an induced coma. As if that weren’t enough, he has Lilian prattling beside him, calling him ‘my love’ and that she is his pusscat. Justin drove Lilian to the hospital, which was pretty good of him, I reckon and he is talking to Jennifer while Lilian is practising her bedside manner. Matt has head injuries and Lilian emerges from the ward to tell everyone that the doctor has advised her ‘to prepare for the worst’. ‘Bugger, that means he’s going to make a full recovery’ I thought.

Justin also tells Jennifer that he had been looking for Matt “to do him some significant damage” and “when I first learned of the accident, I’d be lying if I said I was sorry.” At this moment, Lilian enters the room and tells them that the doctors are going to wake Matt from his coma and, in what must be one of the worst-ever examples of completely misjudging your audience, Lilian says “We’re going to get him back – isn’t it wonderful?”

For someone who is less than two months away from getting married, Lilian is pushing her luck with Justin. For some reason, Matt has kept her on as his next of kin and she seems to think that that makes it incumbent upon her to be with him. No Lilian, it doesn’t – it means that, should he croak, you’ll be sitting pretty – you don’t have to be there when it happens. Lilian also says that, if she doesn’t go to the hospital and sit with Matt, who else will – he’s got nobody? Perhaps she should ask herself why Matt hasn’t got anybody else.

Matt appears to be making a swift recovery – ok, he looks awful and can’t yet get out of bed, but he’s talking well enough. He asks Lilian to go to The Bull and retrieve the suitcases that he left in the bottle store. He makes her promise to do this at once and report back when she has done so. Kenton helps Lilian put the cases in her boot “Gosh, these are heavy” says the landlord. Lilian gets back to the hospital and Matt is still obsessing about the cases – were they still padlocked? Are they out of sight? We await the revelation of the case of the cases with interest.

PC Burns visited Matt in hospital for a talk, which was a complete waste of petrol as Matt says he cannot remember anything after he left The Bull and he does not want to press any charges and would PCB close the door quietly on his way out, please?

PCB has been speaking to Kenton, remarking that Matt has made a lot of enemies.  Kenton tells the policeman about an irate Justin coming into The Bull on the night of the Hunt Ball, looking for Matt. By the way, if you’re wondering where Matt was, he didn’t turn up for the Ball at all.

On Friday, Justin is eating in the Café and an off-duty Harrison asks if he can join him? Justin is affability itself and PCB begins asking him questions – why was he in the pub that night? Justin says that he was looking for Matt, as they had some unfinished business. All affability vanished, Justin asks if this is an official interrogation, as he’s beginning to wonder if he ought to call his solicitor? PCB quickly back pedals, saying that he didn’t mean any offence. Justin leaves.

So far it looks as if Justin is firmly in the frame as suspect number one, but he wasn’t the only one to go missing at the Hunt Ball (which was a triumph, you’ll be pleased to know, with Christine winning the star raffle prize of a Rhine Cruise. Perhaps she can take Peggy and smuggle Hilda Ogden aboard – she’d love a little dip in the river). But I digress. Shula herself went awol for a time and Adam cried off and went home early. One wonders if this is going to be like a mechanised version of ‘Murder on the Orient Express’, with lots of different people taking it in turns to run Matt over.

There is other evidence against Adam – Roy is looking through the CCTV footage at Grey Gables (they have been having troubles with kids vandalising things) and he is troubled. He shows Lexi some footage that he has downloaded to his phone, probably breaking every privacy and confidentiality law in existence. It shows Adam and Matt’s confrontation in the car park and then Adam grabs Matt and punches him. Roy is in a dilemma – what should he do? Destroy it? (Yes) Pretend he hasn’t seen it? (Yes) Or take it to the Police? (No). Just let it go, Roy, after all, it is Matt Crawford we are talking about here.

Adam is worried – he knows that, if Matt grasses him up about the punch, his and Ian’s chances of having a surrogate baby will go out the window and he hasn’t yet told his husband about the fracas. Even more worrying, Carina (potential surrogate) is coming to Ambridge next week to check the boys out. Could be the time to take decisive action Adam – get that tractor out and lurk round outside the hospital gates, just in case Matt recovers enough to leave.