…And Throw Away The Key

James Cartwright (Harrison Burns)

I have always said that anyone who deals drugs to children should be locked up indefinitely, assuming of course that there’s no death penalty available. When I say “always”, I mean since about 7.15pm last Sunday. At Loxfest, Daniel found Freddie high on drugs and he did a bit of investigating, finally tracking down the dealer, who turned out to be Wayne.

Daniel told Wayne that he had left his money in his tent and arranged to meet in 10 minutes but, when Dan returned, he had PC Burns with him, who promptly read Wayne his rights and arrested him. It was at this moment that my hard line stance on dealing drugs kicked in. Way to go Harrison! Can’t you rough him up a bit and do him for resisting arrest? Just a thought.

PCB isn’t making things easy for himself on the romance with Fallon front, is he? Just when we thought that he was getting his feet under the table, he goes and arrests his would-be girlfriend’s Dad. Something like that has the potential to be a very big elephant in a small room, always assuming that PCB gets another date with Fallon, that is. She told him that she would be busy for the foreseeable future, but would ring him sometime. And she probably will be busy, as half of Ambridge (well, Eddie and Emma) have been roped in to help the upcycling business.

The situation between Elizabeth and Roy is becoming ever-more complicated. The Pet Shop Boys were a triumph and Liz says to Roy that “none of this would have happened without you” and they kiss. Roy mentions that he is staying overnight and nudge, nudge. In fact, there is considerably more than nudging later on - don’t Lizzie’s children notice that she doesn’t sleep in her bed?

The day after, both Liz and Roy say that things are different this time and they love each other. Work goes on, however and Shula (who has turned up to help the clear up) spots Roy in his orange jacket. “He must be exhausted” says Shula. I should say so!

Things aren’t that easy, however, as Roy tells Liz that “I can’t do this” (pretending to carry on a normal working relationship). Liz takes him to one side and kisses him and, having got him thoroughly worked up by telling him that she loves him, she adds that they could never be together as he couldn’t leave Haley and the children and she could never be responsible for causing such misery and they wouldn‘t be happy. “Roy, please hug me one more time” she tells him.

Roy is really having difficulty in accepting the situation and, in what I at least thought was a comical line, he tells Lizzie “I can’t keep my mind on the job.” I know it’s not romantic, but can’t they accept that they will never be together and just indulge in the occasional bonk when things get on top of them, so to speak? As it is, we could be heading for fireworks as Lizzie gives Freddie an envelope to deliver to Roy, but Roy’s not at home and he gives it to Hayley. The envelope comes open and Hayley sees that it contains a heart-shaped locket, which is going to take some explaining, especially as Freddie said that Liz said it was vital that Roy got the envelope.

Call me picky, but if Elizabeth wanted to give Roy a locket a) why not wait till he comes back to work b) why entrust a delicate mission to Freddie, who is behaving lately like an understudy for Tim-Nice-But-Dim (or, more likely, just turning into a clone of his father) and c) why not write ‘confidential’ on the envelope and make sure it is sellotaped securely? Rocket science it ain’t.

Charlie continues to annoy everyone - even though the planning for the 2^nd anaerobic digester has been rejected, he says that this was expected and Justin Eliot doesn’t give up easily. He even suggests to David and Rooooth that, if Route B is adopted, it could be a good thing for Brookfield, as BL would give them a contract to grow crops for the AD instead of dairy farming. He was lucky that David didn’t have his shotgun handy. Actually, later on in the week, Ed missed a golden opportunity to rid the village of Charlie as the latter’s car had broken down and Ed offered him a tow. Just think, one slight wrong turn and “sorry m’lud, I didn’t realise that the car had slipped into the Am and, when I did, I accidentally ran him over with the tractor.” It could have worked.

We learned that Leonie and James’ boy is to be called Mowgli, which plumbs depths of silliness and pretension, even for them. I think he will be referred to as ‘Baloo’ in this blog, as it seems more fitting.

Suspense when Rob takes a call from Jess. “If it’s about the divorce, call my lawyer” he snarls. “It’s not about the divorce - it’s something you really need to know” she replied, enigmatically. We are all agog.

Money, they say, goes to money and we learned that John Tregorran not only left Jennifer some of his books and sent her a strange letter, in which he accuses wife Carol of playing games and acting strangely, but he’s also left Jennifer £50 K. Jen thinks she cannot possibly accept it, due to all the rumours about an affair in the past, but Brian is more pragmatic, saying “Who’s going to know?” Really Brian, this is Ambridge we are talking about and you should know better. Personally, I reckon he’s thinking “£50 K - that should go some way at least towards paying for the damn kitchen.”