Ryan Kelly Jack 'Jazzer' McCreary
First of all a note of
celebration – by my reckoning, this is the 150th edition of this blog, so crack
open the bubbly, light the candles and get stuck into the cake.
For those who don't know, a
Jackaroo is a trainee on a sheep shearing station in Australia, while the
answer I gave in a quiz – Buckaroo – is a children's game. The two Jackaroos in
our title are Ed and Jazzer – Ed eventually took everybody's advice and applied
to train as a sheep shearer and then David suggested that Jazzer apply as well.
And why not?
After all, he only has to
fit it into a schedule that includes an early morning milk round, helping Tom
with the pigs and chasing anything in a skirt. Does this mean that Jazzer's
affections will turn from 'my girls' to fluffier, woollier livestock? The two
lads might even turn into Australians – certainly Jazzer is no stranger to the
lager bottle – watch out for hats with corks around Ambridge.
It was interesting when
Jazzer had a heart to heart with Rhys, telling the latter how lucky he was and
he'd better treat her right. I'm sorry? This is the man whose idea of
post-coital affection is to throw the girl the door keys so she can let herself
out, so he can hardly lecture Rhys on how to treat women.
Lizzie's plans to expand
Lower Loxley hit a snag when the bank – who I thought were being encouraged to
lend us all money – told her that they would lend her some, if she could find
the first £300,000. Lizzie is at her wit's end, no doubt thinking that if she
had that sort of money she wouldn't need to approach the bank. Shula suggests
that she sells an asset or two (Freddie and Lily spring to mind) but Lizzie
worries that she won't be able to convince the Trustees.
Lewis remarks that she
looks wiped out and she admits it's all getting to her. Give it up and get a
Council House, Lizzie. As she is recovering from the re-naming ceremony of the
Shire's Rare Breed Centre, the phone rings and it's Iftikar, telling her he'll
be late for Freddie's lesson. He senses that Lizzie is busy and asks if he
should call back? Lizzie proceeds to spend about 10 minutes telling him how
busy she is and the talk turns to Nigel, Julia and Ifty's grandmother. After
about 13 hours, Ifty apologises for the intrusion but Lizzie says "I've
enjoyed our chat – in fact I always do." Are we being softened up for a
romance, I ask myself? Should Ifty become Freddie and Lily's stepfather, then
presumably Lizzie wouldn't have to pay for Freddie's maths tuition, so it could
make sense.
Will's 30th birthday is coming
up and Nic is determined that there is going to be a party with all the family
sitting round a table, even if she has to drag him there, kicking and
screaming. Whining and snivelling, more like. Nic confronts Ed (who doesn't
want to go – even more so when Emma says they will have to buy Will a present)
and says that he has to come along, for Clarrie's sake if nothing else. Ed
gives in with bad grace.
Nic then has to tell Will
that his brother will be coming and his reaction is predictable, saying that he
doesn't want to look at Ed's ugly mug over dinner. Nic gets really (for her)
angry, calling him 'childish' and giving him a right telling off. And good for
her! In fact, I wouldn't have minded the rest of the episode being taken up
with her slagging him off. "It's a family party and I want you both round
the table for your Mum's sake." Sounds like it's going to be a barrel of
laughs, lads.
Rob Titchener continues to
tour the village, introducing himself to all and sundry. He compliments Ed on
the quality of his milk (he had some of the Gold Top on his breakfast) and we
learn later that he used to be a bell ringer and missed going out hunting when
he was in Canada. In fact, Rob goes out with the hunt on Friday and Shula even
entrusts him with Topper, so he must be an OK guy.
Paul and Lilian have
trouble making a rendezvous and agree to meet on a station, but his train is
late, so there are only a few moments together before he has to go somewhere
else. The scriptwriters must have suffered writers' block, as we were
transported back to 'Brief Encounter', complete with Lilian getting grit in her
eye and an ex-headmistress acting as a gooseberry.
This got me thinking – what
other films could the writers plagiarise – sorry, I meant make homage to? Jim and Jazzer could do 'The
Odd Couple', while Clive Horrobin could do 'Psycho'. When Susan is behind the
counter, we have 'Little Shop of Horrors' and Susan and Vicky could star in
'Jaws'. As for Will, there could be a whole festival: 'The Blob', 'Undead' and
'The Creature from the Black Lagoon' are three that spring to mind. Matt
Crawford's transformation into a caring human being recalls 'Invasion of the
Bodysnatchers', while Will and ed could star in 'The Brothers Grimm'…
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