Party Animals

Brian Hewlett (Neil Carter)

So, it turned out that Jennifer was worrying about nothing and Clive Horrobin hadn't been invited to the party after all. What a cruel trick by Alice and Chris – or, rather, it would have been cruel had it been played on anyone but Jennifer – now she's got to remember where she put Brian's 25-year-old malt and various family heirlooms for safe keeping. Actually, as one of the Horrobins was said to be drinking champagne with whisky chasers, she was probably wise.

"The Horrobins totally ignored my table plan", said Jennifer. And little wonder, as she'd probably put them in the next-field-but-one and erected an electric fence round the drinks trolley. The union of their son with an Aldridge seems to have given Susan and Neil delusions of adequacy, with Susan dreaming of being invited to 'County Set' functions. Only if they need a waitress, Susan.

Neil had obviously had too much champagne, as he proposed a toast to "two of Ambridge's finest farming families". True enough, but he shouldn't forget that one owns all the land, the other works on it. I just hope he didn't try and kiss Jennifer.

Jennifer's week got off to a mixed start, with Debbie flying in from Hungary. Jen's happiness was dashed when Debbie said that she and Marshall had split up and she (Jen) was distraught, wailing: "She'll be 40 this year!" (Christmas Eve if you are interested). That's it Debbie – better get used to life on the shelf; you're finished, over the hill, yesterday's woman, so just go off and lay down somewhere to await the end, that's a good girl.

Emma's stalker turned out to be Josh. "It's quite sweet really", she said. Oh yeah? She didn't think that when she made the frantic call to Ed to come home because she was scared. Let's hope that Josh grows out of it, but meantime I'd keep an eye on the contents of the washing line if I were her, just in case.

Kenton proved that he wasn't a complete waste of space when he talked Jamie round to playing cricket, although the rapidity and strength of Jamie's conversion was a bit unconvincing. Perhaps he'll stop sighing now.

Mind you, it could be hunger, as he begged a spag bol off Fallon, saying that he'd only had toast all day. I thought that Kathy would force feed him muesli every morning, but it seems not. Fallon's music career has been put on hold (I bet the other members of the band are chuffed about that) but fortunately we were spared the song that she has written about Sid.

Nevertheless, it was good of Fallon to look after Jamie, as if she hasn't enough to do. Brenda rallied round and contributed to the pub's takings by ordering a cheese and pickle sarnie and a mineral water – soon be able to hire extra kitchen staff at this rate. But will they be needed, as Jolene sinks ever deeper into her slough of despond and threatens to sell her shares in the business? Let's be honest; yes Jolene's had a rough time, but as far as the pub's concerned, she's about as much good as a one-legged person at a bum-kicking party. The advert for the new bar person has gone into the Echo (what's the matter with employing Harry every now and then?), but will it be too late as the Bull sinks slowly into oblivion?