The Kids Aren't All Right

George Bingham (Josh Archer)

What is happening in Ambridge among the younger generation? I know that I advised Pip to get out more and have something approaching what normal people regard as a life, but the girl has gone mad. Not only is there the Jude situation, but Pip flies off the handle at the slightest provocation, stays out late and has been caught with a bottle of vodka in her bag.

Did you notice that David immediately assumed that Jude had bought the voddie? Innocent until proved guilty? I don't think so. And why pour it down the sink? Has he any idea of the cost of a bottle of spirits? If I were David, I would have kept it to drink when waiting for Pip to come back from her latest party/nightclub/Bulgarian film with Chinese subtitles. Then again, he could have given it to Lillian as a packed lunch. Failing that, he could clout Pip round the head with it when she next smart mouths him. Honestly, if I had talked to my Dad like that…

As if Pip's behaviour wasn't bad enough, we had Jamie and Josh behaving badly, being caught red-handed spraying graffiti around the village. Yet more backchat to Ed, who apprehended them. What is it with these kids? I expect Josh and Jamie to turn into the Borsetshire equivalent of the Kray twins – don't you think that "Josh and Jamie" has a sort of "Ronnie and Reggie" ring to it? Whatever next? It wouldn't surprise me if Ben was caught dealing drugs – he has just had his eighth birthday, after all. Keep a close eye on the younger generation, is my advice. I blame the parents.

While not strictly anything to do with kids, I have a horrible feeling that Kate is going to hang around and not go back to South Africa. She hasn't spoken to Lucas since she turned up in Ambridge and I fear the worst. "But she's left Nolly back in Jo'burg and she wouldn't desert her daughter" I hear you wail, to which I will just say the word "Phoebe". 'Nuff said, I believe.

Continuing on worrying story lines, where is this relationship between Paul and Lillian going? I know Lillian is lonely, but could she be unfaithful to her Tiger?

Finally on the subject of storylines, was I the only one who screamed "No! No!" when Jolene suggested Wayne as the third judge for Ambridge Has Got Talent? Dear God, will we never be rid of the man?