The Villagers’ Tale

Tom Gibbons (Johnny Phillips)

Poor Johnny is still under the impression that his housemates are both miserable and arguing all the time. His latest attempts to get them out, this time to Apple Day, are rebuffed – Tom says he’s too busy and Hannah, sensing Johnny’s about to leave the house, starts an argument with Tom over the washing machine to encourage him out sooner. Johnny leaves to go to the apple day celebrations and Tom and Hannah are at it faster than you can say ‘boil wash’. Before Hannah can be impressed by Tom’s large load, Johnny comes back unexpectedly looking for his phone and interrupts them mid cycle. Suddenly all the ‘arguments’ and nocturnal noises make sense. 

Meanwhile at the apple day, Jazzer’s getting advice from Kirsty about how he can hook up with, yes you guessed it, Hannah. Try and have fun together without the pressure of going out, she says. Little does she or Jazzer know that friends-with-benefits is exactly what floats Hannah’s boat. To make matters worse he goes on to tell Tom there’s someone he’s got his eye on, but he won’t tell him who. Johnny does though and Jazzer has it out with Tom accusing him of ‘doing the dirty’ on him and taking advantage of Hannah. 

We may have been a bit off the mark last week when we speculated that A Midsummer Night’s Dream might be the subject of Linda’s Christmas production. One of our loyal readers speculated via Twitter that it might be Hardy (I’m assuming Thomas), but we were both wrong – it’s Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales (‘only’ 8 of the Tales, thank god). Lynda wants her play to reflect the villagers lives back to them and says she won’t be holding auditions because she already knows who she wants to cast for which roles. This sounds like it will all go horribly wrong when it dawns of everyone that they’ll be acting out their real lives on stage.

I think Lynda’s on to something because this Jazzer/Hannah/Tom love triangle could be seen as a contemporary interpretation of many of the themes of rivalry in Chaucer’s great work, although whether the events in Ambridge end with the same degree of death and misery wait to be seen (fingers crossed). 

If they do I’m sure Johnny, Helen and Shula would be able to help out as they’re learning Karate. We join their class as the instructor’s helping Helen get into the right position but she’s not comfortable being touched by the instructor, even though he asked if it would be ok. Johnny thinks she should talk to the instructor, Lee, about it and Helen explains that it’s because the last man to touch her was Rob. Next time she see’s Lee it’s for Henry’s training for his red belt and she tells him that Henry’s nervous and thinks he’s going to make a fool of himself. Henry turns out to be fine and Helen’s pleased but she doesn’t say anything about her own issues. However, Lee says he noticed that she wasn’t comfortable but Helen misses the opportunity and passes it off. 

Josh should have been at Karate too, but he’s feeling guilty about facilitating the slaughter of Gran’s hens, so he’s taken her to see a hen-breeder friend for a look around his flock. They have to go through bio security in case they spread Newcastle Disease (I know Roooooth’s a Geordie but that’s a bit over the top) but they’re soon amongst the birds. Jill initially doesn’t know if she actually wants to buy more chickens, but soon seems taken by the Pekins, which apparently make good pets. Josh imagines having Pekins in the orchard while Rosie’s growing up, and Jill agrees to talk to Len, the breeder, about them. However, Josh is so keen to make amends that he goes ahead and buys some Pekins, and some Silkies and has them delivered to the orchard where Bert’s magnificent (by all accounts) chicken coup is now waiting for a predictably tearful Jill.

An arrangement that could definitely get out of hand is the one between Pip and Toby. Pip’s not getting much sleep and is struggling at work, so Toby offers to stay over and sleep on the sofa to help out with Rosie overnight. Pip thinks the sofa will be too uncomfortable and suggests they share the bed – just as mates! This raises eyebrows, especially Rex’s, but Pip assures him the arrangement is just platonic, or chivalric if we’re alluding to Chaucer again.

I don’t think ‘Freddie’s Tale’ was one of Chaucer’s, but you get the idea. The latest is that Jill’s trying to throw him a lifeline by getting Anna Tregorran involved in his case – she thinks she can replicate the success of getting Helen acquitted - and it would appear, after all Elizabeth’s efforts, that Anna is Freddie’s last hope. Elizabeth shouldn’t get her hopes up though, as Anna’s only going to offer an opinion at this stage after she’s read the paperwork. When they do meet up, Anna’s advice isn’t what Elizabeth wants to hear – continuing to pursue Freddie’s appeal will be a waste of her time and money – which doesn’t seem to concern her as she soon finds another barrister in Felpersham who might be willing to take the case. Personally I think the last thing she needs is getting another barrister involved, she’d be better off with a barista – she needs to wake up and smell the coffee!

Johnny’s been to see Freddie and Elizabeth interrogates him about his mood (he’s in Prison Lizzie – he’s not exactly going to be in high spirits is he). Johnny promised that he wouldn’t tell Lizzie the truth, and just keeps replying that he’s fine. After a pep-talk from Pat about how she worried about Helen when she was on remand, Johnny goes back to Elizabeth and tells her that actually, Freddie hates it inside and it’s really getting him down. She tells him the new Barrister is going to look at the case with a view to lodging an appeal and that she thinks there’s hope, but Johnny’s not so sure and is worried about her as he can see that standards at Lower Loxley are slipping and suggests to Pat that Lily should know what’s going on.

Finally back to Lynda’s production. She wants to use David’s barn and yard because the village hall doesn’t have the right atmosphere. She thinks the addition of flaming torches would add to the ambiance, but with the fuel store and hay barn nearby David’s worried that it will end up with a bit too much ambiance. Go on David, she’s already stated that it will be her final production. Why not let it go out with a bang to make sure!