Monday 22 October 2018

Not Your Finest Hour, Josh

Angus Imrie (Josh Archer)

Ah, the best laid plans and all that… Josh hatches a cunning scheme where he gets Johnny to do the milking at Brookfield so that Josh can go off buying machinery. The story is that, if he is going to take over responsibility for the new dairy herd at Bridge Farm, then Johnny could use all the experience he can get, so Josh lets him take over his milking stints.

So it is that David is somewhat surprised when he comes across Johnny and not Josh milking the cows. Johnny explains that Josh is off chasing machinery and says that it was very good of Josh to give him the extra milking experience. “Oh yes – he’s all heart” David says, sarcastically. When Josh returns, David suggests that he is exploiting Johnny, but Josh argues that he is helping Johnny to become a better stockman. David cuts him short, saying that he isn’t as naïve as Johnny “and this never happens again, OK? Never.” David also asks Josh to shut up Jill’s hens for her (she’s staying overnight at Carol’s).

Next day, David confronts Josh, who is proudly working on a newly-acquired tractor, and shows him the corpses of a couple of hens – Josh forgot to lock them up and a fox got in. Three hens were killed and the other three are missing. Not only did Josh forget to lock the hens up, but he never went and checked on them in the morning, or else he would have found the corpses. David is very angry with Josh for letting everyone down.

Jill returns to Brookfield and Josh tells her about the hens and fesses up to his part in the massacre. He apologises abjectly, but Jill takes it quite calmly, saying that maybe he has done her a favour; perhaps it is time for her to call it a day with the hens – after all, she still has her bees. Later on, David knocks on Josh’s door and asks how did things go with Jill – is Josh buying her some replacement hens? Josh tells his dad what Jill said about giving up hens, but David is not convinced – she may be in shock. Whatever, Josh needs to have a good, hard think; how can he help his grandmother get over this?

Josh tracks down Bert, who is mending a fence and Josh says that David asked him to look at it earlier, but he forgot. Bert isn’t fussed (just don’t tell David) and Josh asks that, if he (Josh) got Bert the materials, could he knock up a new hen house for Jill? Josh wants to surprise her. Bert agrees and Josh says he will pay Bert. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if Josh presented Jill with the new hen house and she said ‘I thought I told you I was giving up bloody hens’? Not that you’d ever hear Jill swear, of course.

Bert was in demand last week, as Jill is the next to seek him out. She knows that Bert went to see Elizabeth earlier in the week and how is she coping? The reason that Bert sought out Elizabeth is that he has noticed one or two minor slip-ups in administration and that she looks very tired. Much of the administrative burden has fallen on Geraldine and Bert thinks she is struggling. Lizzie says that Geraldine can cope and Bert persuades her to join him on the treetop walk, as the trees are showing their autumn colours. While out, he tactfully points out one or two places where some tidying up is needed and Lizzie says she will e-mail Geraldine. Once again, Bert suggests that Geraldine has enough on her plate and perhaps she could do with some support? We never know if she gets it.

Anyway, Bert’s answer to Jill’s question about how Lizzie is coping is “not very well; as I told David.” Jill realises that she is being kept in the dark and, later that day, she gatecrashes a family conference, where David, Shula and Kenton have gathered to discuss what they can do for their sister. Jill demands that they stop treating her like a child and tell her exactly what’s been going on. Reluctantly, they tell her of their (so far abortive) attempts to get a solicitor who will handle Freddie’s appeal (only one week left to file it!). David says that they must have rung every lawyer in Borsetshire and nobody will touch it with a bargepole.

Shula took Lizzie to see ‘Desperately seeking Susan’ but it was all too much for Elizabeth, who asked to be taken home. She reveals that Freddie has turned down visits from her and from Lily and she (Elizabeth) is desperately worried about her son “locked up in that place with heaven knows what sort of people.” What? Like drug dealers, do you mean? Tearfully, she says “I’ve got to get him home, Shula – I’ve just got to; whatever it takes.”

Back at the family conference, Shula says that they have to convince Elizabeth to give up on the appeal, but Jill disagrees, saying that they should look at the situation from Lizzie’s point of view, and look with their hearts, not their heads. She explains that what Elizabeth needs now is their unconditional support and the idea of the appeal is the only hope that she has got. “Fighting for Freddie is giving her focus and a tiny bit of hope – let’s not take that away from her.” “But what if she’s wrong?” David asks. “You won’t convince her by logic – what she needs right now is love.” Jill replies. I suggest what she needs right now is an extremely good lawyer with unbounded optimism and who refuses to recognise a nailed-on lost cause when he sees one.

We learned something new about Harrison Burns last week – he is a lover of board games and he and his brother used to play their favourite (Escape from Atlantis)all the time. We learn this when Fallon arrives at The Bull to pick up said game, which they have bought on-line and had delivered there. And there’s more – she and PCB invite Kenton and Jolene over on Thursday evening to play the game. Kenton, who has unhappy memories of playing games with his siblings, is far from keen, but Jolene says that this is another step forward in mending the relationship between the four of them.

As it turns out, it nearly causes the relationship to break up again, as we learn that Jolene is a terrible loser and kept trying to bend the rules. This enraged Harrison, who told her that he wishes she would show the same killer instinct on the cricket pitch. A full-scale row is averted, however, and the two sides are still talking to each other, although I suspect it will be a while before another games night is suggested.

The story of Lynda’s mystery Christmas production trundles on and she tells Robert that the next stage in snaring people into joining the cast involves the two of them going along to the meeting of the Cider Club on Thursday evening. Robert isn’t convinced, but his opposition is swept aside.  At the Cider Club, Jazzer is moaning to Eddie about giving up smoking when there is a knock at the door. It’s the Snells and Jazzer isn’t keen on having Lynda in attendance, whereas Eddie will accept anyone who pays guest rates.

Lynda sympathises with Jazzer, saying that she too was once in thrall to the weed, and Jazzer (no doubt thinking ‘what’s she on about?’) nods and keeps on drinking. Eddie asks about the play (or whatever) and Lynda resorts to the well-used trick of telling them how good they both were in previous productions. As it happens, she is looking for some true rustics this year and, under the influence of lashings of cider and outrageous flattery, they have volunteered. You couldn’t really pay me enough to care, but could ‘rustics’ be a clue? Will we be subjected – sorry, I meant treated – to A Midsummer Night’s Dream, or have we had that recently? Just the thing for a Christmas production.

Now here’s a question – how far should we trust Justin Elliott? Lynda and Pat are speaking and Lynda smugly says that she has roped Justin in for her play. Pat says she’s not surprised – his whole life is an act and his urbane charm is just a front; look how he reneged on the Beechwood project and the affordable homes. If it is an act, it certainly worked on the Bridge Farm Archers, as they salted away the £900 k he was offering for a parcel of their land with no qualms whatsoever.

Mind you, you probably don’t get to Justin’s position by being nice. Lilian comes home, determined to have it out with Justin about BL’s proposal for the redevelopment of Home Farm farmhouse. The idea, says Lilian, is stressing out Jennifer and “this is my sister’s home we’re talking about.” Justin reveals that, having examined the proposals, he is of the opinion that they are not financially viable and he has recommended to the Board that they reject them. He stresses that his decision was based on sound business principles, to which Lilian tells him to get round to Home Farm now – never mind about supper – and tell them the news.

Obediently, Justin does just that and tells Brian and Jennifer that BL will not be putting in an offer for the farmhouse, with the caveat that the Board has to agree. The Aldridges are grateful, as Jenny would prefer it to remain a family home. “Family will always come first with me.” Justin tells them, which is not what he told Lilian. Perhaps Pat has a point after all.

Time to talk of Tom’s love life. He returns home to find Hannah and Jazzer in front of the TV, drinking and playing computer games. Hannah saw Jazzer sitting outside the pub (he likes the smell of the smoke) and felt sorry for him. Jazzer wants to play another game, but Hannah says that she has an early start in the morning and we already know that Tom has some weaners coming early in the morning. Somewhat reluctantly, Jazzer goes, saying what a good evening it has been.

Hannah wonders out loud if Jazzer still fancies her, while Tom says that he has heard nothing from Natasha and he wonders if he misread the signals. He also feels that he ended the relationship with Hannah a bit prematurely. She obviously feels the same way (ie horny) and says that she doesn’t really have to be up early. “Me neither” says Tom. “What about the weaners?” Hannah asks. “Jazzer can do them” replies the enlightened employer and they go upstairs. Usually, at this stage, Johnny comes back and wees on the matches, but this time he doesn’t put in an appearance. Where is he? I wondered – after all he does live there as well, but then I realised the truth – Josh has probably got him doing the midnight milking at Brookfield when David isn’t looking.

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