Helen Decides It’s Too Much To Bear

Louiza Patikas (Helen Titchener)

Helen had a surprising suggestion for Ian last week – the two were having a catch up (Ian managed to get a few days off, although he told Adam that he ought to go into Grey Gables and check up on stand-in chef Joey, who he doesn’t really trust) and the conversation turned to the subject of Ian and Adam’s proposed surrogacy. The two men had debated the pros and cons of having the baby carried by a stranger or a friend and Ian remembers the disappointment a few years ago when his best friend Madds changed her mind about being a surrogate mother.

“We’ve thought of everybody” Ian tells Helen, to which she replies “What about me?” Ian immediately says it’s an amazing offer, but he couldn’t ask her to do that, with all she has been through. That’s all water under the bridge, Helen says and adds the caveat that she isn’t 100% sure yet, but she’ll think about it and let him know.

Ian talks it over with Adam, who is vehemently against the idea, saying “You know how fragile she’s been; we need to talk her out of it” and “It’s all going to go wrong.” For his part, Ian thinks that they should give Helen the space to make up her own mind. Over at Bridge Farm, Helen runs the idea past her mother and Pat is appalled by the idea – has Helen forgotten the pre-eclampsia she suffered with Henry? Could she really bear to give up a baby? Helen accuses Pat of being negative and says “It’s my decision and I don’t really want you or anyone else telling me what to do.” This is obviously not simple enough for Pat to grasp and she continues to raise objections, causing her daughter to say sharply “It’s up to me and no-one else, ok?”

I must admit that I thought this story would run and run, but the very next day Helen and Ian meet again and she tells him that she cannot be the surrogate as she would worry about the effect on Henry of giving up the baby. She apologises profusely but Ian says she has nothing to reproach herself for and she is the best friend he’s got. The two of them profess love for each other and they hug. Back to square one on the surrogate hunt, Ian.

At Brookfield, the week begins with Pip telling Josh that her new contract milking job is pants – not only is it a long commute, but the farmer is a miserable sod who watches every move she makes. Josh asks why doesn’t she jack it in? But Pip says that she can’t just do that. This, it turns out, was the wrong decision as, later on, Rooooth gets a phone call – Pip has been kicked in the face by a cow. Luckily, it missed her eye, but it is very painful. Rooooth is fuming, saying that the farmer should have warned Pip that the cow was a kicker and he’s lucky that they aren’t suing him. Pip begs her not to make matters worse. The next day Rex enquires after Pip and Rooooth tells him that she has lost a lot of confidence and won’t be back working before the weekend. I must admit that, having my face used as a football by a bovine would knock my confidence in working with cows more than somewhat. Toby drops in to see Pip and the two of them seem to be getting on worryingly well, with Toby bringing grapes and chocolate. During the small talk, Pip asks if the gin business is going well and Toby replies “Yes – your investment is still looking sound.” So he hasn’t forgotten about the five grand she lent him. Mind you, there was no hint of when he might start paying it back.

One consequence of Pip’s accident was that Josh missed the grudge cricket match against Darrington and his place was taken by Jolene. It is a tight match and the Ambridge cause isn’t helped when PCB is run out 15 short of his century and his replacement, Will Grundy, is out for a duck. So much for preparing all those dossiers on the opposition, Will. The game goes down to the final over and Darrington just shade it, but there is one tiny victory when the Darrington captain, who is notoriously anti-women cricketers, is caught on the boundary by Jolene, off the bowling of Anisha. PCB declares that the women cricketers are a vital part of the Ambridge team, leading Jolene to remind him that they still haven’t got their own changing facilities and what is he going to do about it?

I am concerned about the relationship between Justin and Lilian, as one or two – admittedly hairline – cracks are starting to appear. Lilian has a problem with an AmSide client who is causing trouble over some plans. Justin offers to put Damara’s legal team on the case, free of charge (and it’s not often you will see the words ‘legal team on the case’ and ‘free of charge’ in the same sentence). He goes further and suggests that AmSide should “come under the Damara Group umbrella” as there would be a number of beneficial synergies. Lilian, slightly alarmed at the possibility of losing her independence, says she’ll consider the idea. However, a few days later, Justin says that he’s had a draft agreement drawn up, but Lilian is still not convinced.

On Wednesday, Lilian drags Justin round an art gallery and he’s bored, bored, bored. On Friday, Justin took Lilian to a networking event and he tells her off for making an exhibition of herself (telling risqué jokes and taking the Mick out of an influential businessman). The two have also been thinking about the wedding and honeymoon. For the latter, Justin has always fancied Mexico, while Lilian is much taken with Rajasthan and the romance of the Taj Mahal. Hmm – separate honeymoons, maybe. Could start a trend, I suppose.

Friday is also the day of the joint birthday party for Alice (29) and Kate (40). Kate is still in de-cluttering mode and this has widened to include not just her stuff, but everything else in the house that she deems joyless. We learned earlier in the week that she had tried to give away Brian’s golf clubs and, on the day of the party, Jennifer rescues a book lent to her by Lynda and one of Jen’s favourite ornaments from Kate’s latest charity bag.

On the evening of the party, Kate is supposed to be preparing the salad but, on learning that the drumming has started, she shoots off to speak to the drummer. Leaving Ian (who is a guest) to complete the task. Later on, Ian is also handing round the canapes, so it was very much a working party for him.

During the party, Jennifer disappears and Kate, who has specifically asked for no presents, is suspicious. What is her mother up to? The answer is the big surprise that Jennifer has been working on, as she presents Nolly – Kate’s daughter from South Africa. Kate is overcome and there are hugs all round. But where’s Sipho, Nolly’s brother? Nolly says that he couldn’t get time off from school (she’s going to be around for two weeks) and Kate says that he has been giving her the cold shoulder for months now. But never mind – seeing Nolly is her best present, ever.

The highlight of the party is supposed to be when Kate’s family tell her what she is good at and in what areas she needs to improve. Brian starts and pays her a few compliments, then says that he was doubtful about Kate’s Spiritual Home business at first, but she has made it a success and he’s proud of her as a business woman and mother of his grandchildren. Jennifer calls her daughter talented but adds that sometimes she starts something then leaves others to finish it off. Kate interrupts, her saying that what Brian said about Spiritual Home shows that this is no longer the case and let’s move on to someone else.

Let’s just examine these comments in more detail, starting with Jennifer’s. Three paragraphs ago, we had Kate leaving Ian to finish preparing the salad – a minor thing, granted, but so typical of Kate. Brian praised her as a businesswoman, but only last week he had to stop her throwing away financial records that have to be kept, by law. As for being a good mother, this is the first time Kate has seen Nolly for well over a year and her son Sipho is ignoring her. Years ago, Kate went off to Africa, leaving Phoebe behind in Ambridge and had precious little contact with her for years, to the extent that Phoebe referred to Hayley as ‘mum’. You may have noticed that Phoebe didn’t make it to the party either – that’s two no-shows out of three. When it comes to being a parent, it could be argued that Kate has displayed all the maternal instinct and hands-on childcare of a mother turtle.

The last family member to speak is Alice, who calls her sister “a lot of fun” but adds that she can be tactless. Stung by this, Kate says that she will return the gift, for Alice, calling her “clever” but that she can be selfish. “I’m only saying this for your own good so that you can work on it” Kate adds, pompously. Alice suggests that Kate should work on her own issues and the atmosphere is getting a bit fraught. Brian breaks it up before it gets any worse. Alice cannot believe what Kate said and she tells Jennifer that she is going to get drunk. “Do you think that’s a good idea?” Jen witters. “I think it’s an excellent idea” Alice replies.

In an attempt to cool things down Ian tells Kate, who has been showing Nolly round to all and sundry, that he envies her. Kate says she’s lucky – she’s got her “lovely, little Nolly.” There is a pause, then Nolly says “From now on I’d prefer it if you called me Noluthando – I’m not little any longer.” For the record, Nolly – sorry, Noluthando – was born in 2001.

Finally this week, let’s return to Justin and Lilian. Back home on Friday, the pair are relaxing and listening to music, having escaped from Kate and Alice’s party with its constant drumming and awful music. Justin has to go to Scotland on business at the weekend and will be away for a couple of nights. Lilian is getting stressed about this and about the wedding and Justin tries to calm her down, saying “Trust me – it will get easier – everything’s going to be absolutely fine.” A surefire indication that some terrible cataclysm is in the offing, if ever I’ve heard one.