Sunday, 23 November 2014

Has Rob got his eyes on Bridge Farm now?

Timothy Watson (Rob Titchener)

Everyone’s still in shock about Tony’s accident, except it seems Rob. He’s taking control of the situation, no doubt thinking about what could be in it for him if Tony doesn’t pull through. You can almost hear him rubbing his hands together as Pat talks through the details of Tony’s impending operation and the likely outcomes, and when Pat thanks him, he simply says “we’re family Pat’. He’s even got Eddie helping out as well as Johnny putting in full days. Peggy thinks the sun shines out of his proverbial and Helen’s happy to leave him to it. Might as well get the farm all ship-shape on someone else’s money while you’ve got the opportunity Rob.

Pat comes back with more news from the Hospital – something about chest drains – and declines an offer of a bite to eat by saying she had ‘a pasty in the car’. Sounds unlikely to me - I would need to know the provenance before commenting further. A Ginsters from a service station or a previous purchase from Ambridge Organics? We need to know.

Brian must have thought he had it all sewn up last week with that handshake, but when David tells him they’re putting Brookfield out to auction he grudgingly accepts he would have done the same thing too. Later in the Bull Brian and Adam are working out how they’re going to raise the money to buy Brookfield when Eddie comes along trying to sell tickets for his turkey extravaganza, even suggesting that his mystical turkey could help with their decision making. Eddie thinks a fiver for a sausage roll and glass of cider offers value for money. However I fear there will be plenty begging to differ once they taste his cider and then play Russian roulette with the sausage rolls (e-coli anyone, remember Dirty Clary?).

A different bake in the form of Orange and Almond polenta cake is on offer when Jim goes round to Lynda’s for a committee meeting. However it turns out they’re the only committee members present and Lynda intends to inform the rest via round-robin email. It turns out that Justin Elliot has got himself onto the Borsetshire Local Enterprise Partnership and Linda senses something afoot. Traffic figures are on the agenda again as it appears the council have ‘sexed up’ their report. The thought of a council sexing up anything makes me shudder, but not as much as when David stumbles across Jim and Lynda carrying out research in a lay-by and wonders whether they’re doing a bit of sexing up of their own. Rest easy listeners, the moaning you could hear in the background was only the sound of the Bridge Farm cows being separated from their calves.

Good news, Carol hasn’t got dry hyacinths! This revelation comes courtesy of Bert Fry who continues to help plan the garden while dispensing philosophical advice. Carol is so enraptured by Bert’s wisdom that her Bridge guests start to arrive while she’s still in the Garden – Peggy’s the first to turn up. Carol’s starts mixing up the herbs again (I hope she knows what Bert’s been planting) and plys Jenny with the resulting concoction. Soon she’s lighting up a Smudge Stick (don’t ask) to create the correct ambiance, before getting Christine blotto on the ginger wine to the extent that she passes out on the sofa. All this gleeful intoxication of her guests leads one to speculate whether she had a hand in John Tregorran’s demise, and suddenly her character is imbued with sinister expectations.

Lil’s upset after visiting Tony, but her attention is diverted by the news of Jess’s baby. Jenny wonders if he’s got Rob’s eyes – that’s certainly what I’ve got my money on – and I can’t wait for the episode when she brings the new arrival to Ambridge. There was a tantalising preview of the tension we can expect when Jenny tells Helen the news, and Helen, obviously very much in denial, says that it’s nothing to do with her OR ROB!

Brian says he can stretch to £5.5m for Bridge Farm, casually mentioning that Adam and Debbie will be left to pick up the necessary mortgage payment– he’s all heart. Jenny takes it all in her stride; “good girl” is Brian’s response as she heads out for Bridge at Carol’s, before getting pissed with Adam on a ‘fruity Beaujolais’. Little does he know that Justin Elliot is willing to put up £7m to buy Brookfield. That’s going to hurt.

The effects of Carol’s herby mixture seem to be long-lasting on Jennifer, as she inadvertently puts loose-leaf tea in the cafetiere (oh the horror) and she too speculates on Carol’s past. She even contemplates contacting Carol and John’s offspring in the search for answers.

In an attempt to carry on living a ‘normal’ life, Rob encourages Helen to go on a hunt. This doesn’t go well as the hounds lose the scent and instead latch onto a fox, which they subsequently rip limb-from-limb in the traditional manner. This is too much for Helen after witnessing what happened to her father, and this is compounded by finding a newspaper headline all about the accident that had been ‘hidden’ by Rob.

By the way, Pip sounds off-colour. Either that or there’s been another sinister ‘replacement’ in the village (remember what I said about Tom? You have been warned).

Finally, Pat has a heart-to-heart with Johnny who thinks he messed up with Otto, blaming himself for the accident and putting Henry in harms way. Pat tries to re-assure him by saying that it’s par for the course for farmers, and encourages him to visit Tony in Hospital. I would if I were you son, get it over with while he’s paralysed and can’t throttle you.


  1. The Archers' plots have moved from the sublime, through ridiculous and into utterly preposterous.
    After decades of listening, during which I would have been the first to man the barricades had the BBC proposed guillotining the serial, my hope now lies in Tom Archer returning as a Jihadist zealet who dons his exploding waistcoat and pulls the pin as he walks into The Bull for his welcome home party attended by the entire cast.

  2. Isn't it Bert Fry who is helping Carol with her garden?

  3. "Brian must have thought he had it all sown up last week ..." Surely sewn up, unless you are making a pun on his cropping plans. And doesn't the lovely Mrs Snell spell her name Lynda?

  4. No spelling corrections from me, and I would love to know what is preposterous at the moment. The injured farmer or the new road? I am looking forward to Jess's baby making an appearance though.

    Is it weird I kinda miss old Pip? She used to drive me crazy but I was really unsettled to hear this contralto version with a completely different accent...

  5. Anxiously awaiting the next installment of the Haharchers...