Monday, 22 October 2012


Emerald O'Hanrahan (Emma Grundy)

Things looked bad for poor Emma early in the week when she received an invitation to her friend Jodie's wedding. Normally a cause for rejoicing, but when Emma added up the potential costs (travel to London, present, new dress) she decided that she couldn't afford it. This in turn made Ed feel bad – he had noticed the invitation when wrestling with a mouse for the piece of cheese in the mousetrap – and he tells Dad Eddie about their plight. Eddie can't lend them the money (no surprise there) and it looks bleak for Emma.

But hey! Take heart Cinderemma – you shall go to the wedding! In steps not one, but two Fairy Godmothers, in the unlikely forms of Susan and Neil. They tell Emma that they are proud of the job she is doing in bringing up her children (although if things get much tighter, they may have to eat Keira) and she deserves a treat, so here's £150. At first Emma is reluctant to accept, but they convince her and, when Ed comes home he is genuinely pleased for her, even though he is probably working out how many pizzas you can get for £150.

Meanwhile, at the Bull, Kenton cannot understand why it is taking Fallon so long to make up her mind about taking over at Jaxx's. Perhaps it is because he hasn't been quite straight with her about the possible consequences. For example, she finds out that she will be in competition for the job with Kirsty (her best friend) and some other non-speaking female.

As it turns out, Kirsty isn't interested in the job, so that's one rival out of the way. Fallon asks if, should she not get the job at Jaxx's, would she still have a job at the Bull? Kenton tells her it's a family business (too right – and not his family either) and she'll always have a job there. And what about Rhys? Kenton becomes evasive on this point and Fallon realises she has a lot to think about.

Rhys is delighted for Fallon at the opportunity ahead of her, but not everybody is happy; Jazzer calls Jim a 'traitor' for poaching Fallon (she hasn't even got the job yet) and that he will have to spend more in taxi fares if he starts drinking at Jaxx's. This would seem to indicate that Jaxx's has no minimum entry standards or dress code. Lynda does nothing for Rhys's feelings when she says to him "The Bull won't be the same without Fallon – you'll miss her, I'm sure." Glumly, Rhys agrees. Guys, guys, Fallon will be working in Borchester – a short taxi ride away. It's not bloody Australia or Outer Mongolia for God's sake.

Jazzer continues to acquire a veneer of civilisation, laying a table place for Jim at dinner and helping Jim to resize and send photos by e-mail. Mind you, Jazzer's rehabilitation is not quite complete, as Jim has to bribe him with a flagon of cider to help, plus dinner tonight is last night's refried leftovers. I bet Jim is smacking his lips.

Thursday was a bittersweet day, as we were expecting the return of James Bellamy to Ambridge, hopefully only for a flying visit. But he never arrived – or rather he did, but only to the hospital in Felpersham, after crashing his car. The car was written off, but James only had a leg injury. There's no head injury, which begs the question how could they tell? Lilian is frantic with worry and rings Matt, whose phone goes to voicemail, then Jennifer (ditto). In desperation, she rings Paul, who immediately drops everything and goes to the hospital. Instead of doing us all a favour and putting the pillow over James's face, he comforts Lilian.

Matt eventually does ring back (he's at some do or other) and he shows the same level of caring about James as the rest of us when he says "There's nothing I can do there – I'm not a doctor." No, but you could help Paul with the pillow, Matt. Lilian is not impressed with Tiger's attitude and Paul earns more brownie points when he offers to drive Lil back to Ambridge and he'll get a taxi back. Lilian suggests that he gets out before they get home (Matt will be there) and she tells him how wonderful he's been and "I don't know what I'd have done without you." Was that a kiss I heard?

Lilian is now off my Christmas card list for telling James that he doesn't have to go back to London and can stay with her – Matt will be pleased. James meanwhile shows that he is even more annoying when ill as he bleats about being in pain and moaning because he will have to be in plaster for three months. I'd give him pain – I'd also plaster over his gob while I was at it.

Finally, the mega-dairy project is well under way, with Rooooth and David having a moan about the noise and lorries – no-one has yet invented a quiet method of digging foundations, unfortunately – and BL interviewing for the Herd Manager's job. One candidate – Rob – stands out and Brian is ecstatic when he receives a text from Rob (this is during dinner out with Jennifer, who must be well impressed that her husband can't take his eyes off his phone) accepting the job. For £60k a year, I'd accept the job – I know nothing about cows, but I could afford to slip Ed £10k to do the work; God knows he needs the money and it might prevent him from eating the guinea pig.

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