Scott Arthur (Rhys Williams)
OK, it might not have been the biggest story of the week, but it gives Neil the chance to feature a new photograph. What did Rhys do? Well, Fallon's super duper comedy night didn't go exactly as planned, with the majority of the audience regarding Tug Fowler as about as funny as a traffic accident. Jolene and Kenton had just returned from their holiday in Thailand and Jolene was unimpressed, while Kenton thought he was hilarious – although it should be remembered that this is the man who bought clockwork penguins and rude-shaped ice trays for the bar in Jaxx's last Christmas.
Fallon was distraught, as she feels she has alienated a host of regular customers, but Rhys has the bright idea of giving the most disgruntled a free drink. Jolene hails him as a saviour and Fallon says "I don't know what I'd have done without him." Actually, it was Rhys's hard-sell tactics that led to all the unsuitable characters being in the audience in the first place (Mr. Pullen, 90+ and deaf, Joe Grundy 90+ and a miserable git) so really Rhys was responsible for the fiasco in the first place.
A couple who did enjoy the comedy night were Ifty and Kirsty, with Ifty asking her out and Kirsty saying "yes" at around the speed of light. I thought she had a thing for Patrick, the bird man, but perhaps he's left the village as it's getting near the panto season (and my heart is heavy as I type that) and Lynda knows that he can play the piano. Someone who won't be impressed is Tracy, who has long harboured romantic designs (and delusions) about Ifty.
Another potentially interesting story is the fact that the person for whom Darrell is hoping to do some church restoration work is Paul Walker – Matt's half brother. Matt told Paul that he wanted nothing to do with him but, back in June 2010, I wrote: "The writers have invested a lot of effort in developing the Paul storyline and I can't believe that he is just going to ride off into the sunset and never be heard of again." (Happy Families (Not)). It may have taken over two years, but it's nice to be proved right. When Darrell mentions Paul's name to Lilian, it comes as a bit of a shock as old memories are rekindled.
Darrell meanwhile is still taking up floorboards at Arthur and Joyce's, which is getting on Arthur's nerves, as well as mine. Lilian finds out and orders Matt to put Darrell on a more productive job. He eventually agrees, but will Darrell's replacement be as amenable to tracing non-existent leaks?
The Flower and Produce Show has come and gone, with Oliver winning the bread baking category, Jim's Roman-oven loaf being awarded a special prize (most interesting entry) and Jazzer being disqualified for using a bread maker. Speaking to Caroline, Jazzer bemoans the fact that he cannot find anyone to share his flat and she professes amazement, even after he tells her that, when it comes to tidying up when prospective tenants look round, he goes for 'the lived-in look'. Lived in by the pigs, most likely.
Once again we had an example of the Ambridge "I cannot tell a lie" mentality when Adam drives the pickers to the airport and Pawel keeps trying to talk to him. Eventually he does and tells Adam that "I've had the time of my life" and that Adam is lucky to have Ian. Adam is immediately wracked with guilt, but Pawel is gone. Adam returns to Home Farm and, when talking about the pickers to mother Jennifer, he tells her that he slept with Pawel and does she think he should tell Ian? Jennifer says definitely not and "why break his heart just to ease your guilt?" When Adam asks how can he handle it, she replies "just love Ian as he deserves to be loved". Pity she didn't add "and keep your grubby hands off the hired help in future."
Everyone is rallying round Mike and Vicky now they have started telling people about the Downs baby. Brenda has a heart-to-heart with Vicky, who says "I've got so much love to give a child and my little daughter is going to need all of it." Brenda is impressed and tells Tom: "I've seriously under-estimated that woman." In the same conversation, Tom tentatively mentions wedding plans, but Brenda says "the time isn't right now." Quite right – I'd wait till the 22nd century.
Meanwhile, Roy and Mike spend some father and son time together fishing and we had a great bit of radio when Mike caught, played and landed a fish. Mike is upset because he feels Eddie and Joe are avoiding him and don't know what to say about the baby. Later on, Eddie approached Mike in the pub and apologises, saying "I'm sorry I've been such a pillock, but this will be one lucky baby to have you as parents." I hope this doesn't set a precedent – if we have Eddie apologising every time he acts like a pillock, then the episodes will be a bit samey.
Eddie also says to Mike: "If you want anything – anything at all – then I'm your man." I'd start by telling him you need help on the milk round, Mike – then we'll see how sincere his offer was.