Hollie Chapman (Alice Aldridge)
What a brilliant stroke by the writers to have Chris and Alice getting married on their Stateside holiday! I must admit that, when the penny dropped for Jennifer, it was one of the few times that I wished that the Archers were on TV, not radio.
Jennifer's cry of anguish when she realised that she was now related by marriage to the Horrobin clan was truly heartfelt and, to be honest, who could blame her? Susan, on the other hand, was ecstatic and her phone calls and visit to discuss the celebration party were pouring salt into Jennifer's gaping social wounds. Brian, pragmatic as ever, was trying to find a bright side. "At least we won't have to fork out for a big wedding" he said.
Poor (not) Jennifer – she has probably had Felpersham Cathedral booked for the next three years, just in case Alice hooked up with somebody suitable. Now all she has to look forward to is fending off Susan's suggestions that they spend Christmas/birthdays together.
A word of advice – don't hold the party at Home Farm, or the Horrobins will probably be nicking the lead off the roof.
Full marks to Peggy Woolley, who doubled the size of her cheque to the happy couple (the only present they have received, incidentally) and who told Jennifer some home truths when the latter was talking about how socially unacceptable the union was and what would happen when Chris and Alice got divorced. "Your Grandmother came from the East End" Peggy reminded her. A case of Peggy taking her daughter down a peg or two.
Eddie Grundy got it spot on when he told Alisha the Kiwi sheep shearer "Jennifer and Susan are both snobs" – true, but at opposite ends of the spectrum. He added, in another rare flash of insight, "Everyone looks down on the Grundy's – we're the bottom of the heap." If the cap fits, Eddie…
I'm not a cruel person, but I really hope that Alice and Chris make a go of their marriage, as every day they are together will be torture for Jennifer and, frankly, I've never liked the woman.
What else has been happening? Emma appears to have an admirer. If it turns out to be anyone other than Josh I'll be gobsmacked. This is what happens when you let a young man clean out your washing machine filter.
The state of mind of Jolene is a worry, particularly as there is a lack of real ales in the pub. Customers are deserting the place – if Jolene and Fallon aren't careful, the place might be turned into luxury flats by Borsetshire Land, or, as Lillian is part owner of the pub, more likely by AmSide Properties.
Finally, we return to Kathy and Kenton, or, as Kenton spent yet another night on Kirsty's sofa, perhaps we should talk about the KKK. The latest row came after Kenton was mowing the lawn as yet again, he and Kathy failed to communicate in any meaningful way. Kathy finally lost it, screaming at Kenton: "Do you know, I don't care". You and five million listeners, Kathy…