Sunday, 9 May 2010

Girl Power

Sunny Ormonde (Lilian Bellamy)

It's been a good week for the fairer sex in Ambridge, with many of the girls celebrating one thing or another.

First of all we have Brenda and her new job in PR. Well done Bren, but some people (Tom and Pat, for example) are having reservations. After all, it is in Leicester and this is causing consternation, logistics-wise. A train journey would involve two changes; staying up there during the week would be more than Brenda can afford and driving would take – wait for it – two hours! From the comments flying about, I assumed that going to Leicester would involve crossing at least two time zones, but it's a good job that Bren is living with a farmer – he can get her up early.

Then there's Helen, over the moon that she has got an early sperm donor appointment. "Just think," she told her family, "I could be pregnant in a month or two!" This went down like a lead balloon with Dad Tony, not to mention the majority of listeners, I would imagine, as we thought we had at least six months' stay of execution. I fear it's going to be a long, boring Summer.

The Community shop looks like it's a goer, largely thanks to Pat's efforts, as Brian patronisingly reminded her. And talking of goers (oh, these seamless links) we had Lillian and Paul getting their act together after dancing the night away and then making the beast with two backs. I fear it will end in tears, although the storyline has been nominated as the one least likely to knock you down with a feather.

Kirsty has been offered a job by Kenton and, instead of running a mile, seems to have accepted. This is the Kenton who, going by past experience, couldn't reliably run a bath, let alone a business and whose idea of man-management is to let the plebs do all the work. And the other owner is Jim, who if he had his way would only admit Latin-speaking customers with degrees. The words "recipe" and "disaster" spring to mind.

Someone with not much to celebrate is Peggy, who was mortified to see Jack holding hands with Violet and ignoring her (Peggy). Still, she was being comforted by Ted, so it could be an ill wind, and this could be the start of something big.

And now we have to talk about a disturbing trend, in which the writers have been lulling us into a false sense of security, then suddenly pulling the rug from under our feet and mugging us. I have already referred to Helen's AI date being moved forward, but for sheer, unadulterated sadism and cruelty, we have the storyline about Kate. In a previous blog, I had expressed the fear that she might not return to South Africa, but, sure enough, she got on the plane and I and many others breathed a sigh of relief and cracked open the bubbly.

But we celebrated too soon, as she rang Jennifer to tell her that she was coming back home to study. Apparently Felpersham college is the only place in the world where she can study gannet-strangling, or whatever her subject is. And what about her two children in South Africa? Hubby's family can look after them, replied Kate, thus demonstrating once again why she has never won 'mother of the year'. "It will give me the chance to bond with Phoebe" she also said, glossing over the fact that she has seen her eldest daughter about three times in the past decade. I look forward to hearing Hayley's reaction.

In the meantime, let's all pray for a very large and long-lasting cloud of volcanic ash…

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