Monday 30 November 2020

Blake Saves Gavin’s Bacon

Luke Macgregor (Blake)


I sometimes – no, I often, wonder whether Gavin really is managerial material. Take last week; Gav and the lads are awaiting a delivery of bricks so that they can start on a building job. The bricks arrive and the driver leaves. To his dismay, Gavin inspects the load and finds that they are not the right sort; they are engineering bricks – if only he had inspected them, but he was busy with the customer. Gavin is in despair – his dad Philip already thinks that he is a waste of space and this debacle will do nothing to dispel this view – Gavin fears he is in for a prolonged bout of earache from his father.


Philip turns up on site, where Blake, one of the labourers, tells him about the mistake. Amazingly, Blake says that it was his fault, as he accepted the delivery without checking the goods. Talk about a noble gesture and taking one for the team! Philip is annoyed and tells Blake that he will have to be punished for making a mistake – that punishment is that the Playstation will be confiscated for two weeks. Furthermore, Philip puts the fear of God up Blake by telling him that the cops have worked out that the Grey Gables explosion was his fault and they are scouring the country for him.


When Gavin and Blake are alone, Gavin asks him why did he take the rap? “That’s what mates do, isn’t it?” Blake answers, and thanks Gavin for looking after him – he could never have coped otherwise. What does he mean looking after him – the explosion would never have happened if Blake hadn’t tried to make some toast because he was half-starved. Whatever, Gavin is very touched and thanks Blake, saying “I owe you one.” Gavin goes even further, by digging out a vintage games console (was it an N64? I don’t understand these things) and challenging Blake to a game. Gavin also tells Blake that things will be different soon, as Philip is thinking of retiring (this is in strictest confidence, of course).


It was not a particularly good week for Freddie, as his first rehearsal was a cross between a farce and a failure. Freddie tells Tracy that it was “a disaster” and everybody kept looking at their watches. “Whatever made me think that I could be a director?” he asks, despondently. Fear not! Tracy has had an idea and tells Freddie that she will be in touch soon. Her idea is for her man Roman to get involved on the directing side and she and Roman run the idea past Elizabeth, who immediately says that there is no budget available. No worries; Roman says that he will do it for free – it will look good on his CV. The only worry is how will Freddie react? Again, no worries – Freddie grabs Roman’s hands off and hands over the canvas chair and megaphone at the speed of light.


It transpires that, whereas Freddie didn’t have a clue how to organise a rehearsal, Roman has his own, idiosyncratic method. Instead of a mass meeting, he prefers to meet with a couple of cast members at a time. The first two lucky punters are Oliver and David, who meet for an hour at the Village Hall. Roman’s idea is to play a game – ‘Two truths, one lie’ in which the others tell three stories and the two non-storytellers have to pick out the lie. Oliver is a roaring success; entertaining and hilarious, while David tells three stories about cows – ‘one dimensional’ doesn’t even come close.


Actually, I don’t know what David was doing there, as all he did was bitch and moan and, when he realised that the game was the sum total of the rehearsal, he sank deeper into a slough of despond. Speaking to Eddie next day, David told Eddie that he (Eddie) was well out of the production and that “I never thought I’d find myself missing Lynda.” Oh come on David – it cannot be that bad, but if it is indeed so, then why not step aside in favour of Eddie; he’s desperate to be in the production and you so obviously aren’t, so it would be win-win.


Talking of Eddie, he is really getting into the job of trying to infiltrate the rogue metal detectorists targeting Brookfield and has created a complete new identity online, with a sophisticated backstory. His aim is to become accepted by the group and, as bait, he has posted details of a coin or medal that he and Joe unearthed a few years ago. And it works, as Eddie receives lots of messages, asking for more details. The plan is that the nighthawkers will have to meet him face to face and, to Eddie’s delight, they arrange a date for Thursday evening – they will send Eddie details of exactly where and when later. Eddie tells Will that he’s “not going to let nighthawkers get their hands on our treasure.” Sorry Eddie? Our treasure? Whose farm is it anyway?


Eddie was going to take his sons with him, but they call off. David refuses to let Eddie go solo, and says he will accompany Eddie. As it happens, Will changes his mind and goes with his father, so Eddie tells David he can stand down. The rendezvous is in a service station car park and the Grundys initially wait in their van to suss out the nighthawkers. As we learn later, they are surprised to find that the group seem to be a decent bunch. Eddie is jubilant – he is now a member of the group and, should anyone plan a move on Brookfield, he and David can catch them red-handed. I feel we should point out that we are talking about the Grundys here, and their capacity to cock things up is legendary, so I am fully expecting something untoward to happen before long.


Alice has taken up residence in her detox unit, although she very nearly bottled it and was all for not going – not only would she miss Chris, but, as they are going private, the cost is prohibitive. Why can’t they just get away to somewhere off the beaten track, where she can sort herself out? Chris says that she cannot do it by herself – she needs expert medical help and, when she is better, it will be well worth the money. She reveals that she is wearing a locket with her husband’s photo inside, and if things get too tough, she will draw strength by looking at his picture. Chris says that he has never loved her as much as he does now and he’s proud of her. “I don’t deserve you” Alice says, a bit tearfully. “Of course you do” Chris replies, which could be interpreted as more-than-slightly immodest.


Over at Hollowtree (for the moment, at least) Rex is not having a good time. His pigs are farrowing and one piglet has been crushed by its (first-time) mother. He arranges to talk to Neil, who tells him that these things happen, and he (Neil) has had lots of setbacks in his farming career. Rex asks himself why is he bothering – he’ll probably be winding things up in a few months?


Neil tells him there might be an answer – what does he know about Council Farms? Like me, Rex’s answer is ‘sod all’. Neil says that they were established to give people a step up on the farming ladder, and could be the answer to Rex’s problem. By an almost unbelievable coincidence, there is one such farm coming on the market soon – a 10-year tenancy, 75 acres of land, a farmhouse and buildings, Jacuzzi, indoor swimming pool and skating rink (I lied about the final three.)


Rex says that he hadn’t thought about having a whole farm, but the idea of having his own place appeals, after living with Bert for so long. If you think about it Rex, you could even rent out some of the outbuildings (at an extortionate rate) to Toby for distilling Scruff Gin – always assuming, of course that the idle sod can be bothered to carry on in the gin business.


However, Neil adds a caveat – there will be great competition for the farm, but Neil does have the advantage in that he has an established agricultural business, so why not go for it? Rex is warming to the idea, but I’d be careful – Justin Elliott might buy the whole thing and build a housing estate. I should point out that I have absolutely no evidence that Justin has any such scheme in mind – nor indeed whether he would be allowed to do so – but I don’t think that the man is 100% trustworthy and he has both ambition and deep pockets, so anything is possible. Let’s hope not, as Rex could do with some luck – good luck, that is.


Let’s finish with a visit to Brookfield, where Elizabeth (I thought she was busy with work?) is watching Jill make mince pies. Jill goes wittering on about Leonard and how he thinks there should be a certain amount of candied peel in the mincemeat. Lizzie says how nice it is to hear Jill talking happily about Leonard and Jill immediately thinks that she has been insensitive, going on about Leonard, when Lizzie must be feeling lonely at this time.


Elizabeth says there’s no need to worry on that front, as she has been on a few dates recently. Has she met anyone interesting? Jill asks. Elizabeth replies that there is one person; he’s charming and gentlemanly and he’s called Vince. I don’t know what reaction Lizzie was expecting, but Jill, having ascertained that we are talking about Vince Casey, says “as long as you are happy.”


David turns up towards the end of this conversation and has caught the words “Vince Casey.” David calls him “a complete git” and then – rather belatedly – asks “why are we discussing that rat?” “Because I’m dating him” his sister replies, which, as I am sure you will agree, is a bit of a conversation stopper.


Later on, David tells Elizabeth that he was sorry that she heard what he said about Vince – not, you will note, that he was sorry what he said, but just that he was sorry that she heard it – and Lizzie shares that she thinks that Vince is a little bit intimidated by her. Lizzie tells David not to worry – she can look after herself – and David (trying to trawl back a few Brownie Points) says that he would happily sit down for a talk with Vince “But I don’t think it would change anything.” “Maybe – maybe not” Elizabeth replies, enigmatically, and thus the week’s final episode ends.


Let us delve into the realm of speculation for a moment. Let’s presume that Elizabeth and Vince fall madly in love. Furthermore, that this leads to a marriage proposal, which Elizabeth accepts. Furtherfurthermore, the marriage is held at Lower Loxley. Furtherfurtherfurthermore, Vince asks David if he would be his Best Man. Furtherfurtherfurtherfurthermore, Vince wants to book the Brookfield barn for the wedding reception and, knowing him, would ask for at least family discount, if not a freebie - I don’t know about you, but I think that could well make for an interesting two or three (at least) episodes.


 

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