Paul Venables (Jakob Hakansson)
For a change, let’s start with Sunday’s episode. Kate greets Lynda in the shop and congratulates her on her protest about the pub. However, Kate cannot understand how it hasn’t made the local press? Lynda (lying through her teeth) says that she was aware that “a cult of personality” was developing and, while Lynda was still personally opposed to the name change, she has withdrawn from active campaigning.
Later on, Kate tells Alice that she and Jakob are no longer an item. Kate admits that she was not pregnant and she feels guilty about what she put Jakob through. Alice is helping Kate assemble the latter’s new bed at The Lodge, but, on learning the news, she says, in effect, ‘sod the bed, let’s go to Grey Gables for a swim and a sauna, followed by a cocktail.’ And the bed? Chris can do that - and Alice reveals that, when she learned that Chris had (inadvertently) let slip about Kate’s (mistaken) pregnancy, she gave him a good tongue-lashing. And I should add that I don’t mean that in a good way.
Let’s fast forward to Wednesday, which is the day of Xander’s Naming Ceremony at Grey Gables. We learn that all three of Ian’s brothers (instead of the only-expected Sam) have turned up and Kate is concerned. Tracy says “so there’ll be two more for lunch?” and assures Kate that it will be fine and she will sort it. “We get this all the time” Tracy says. “You’re an angel” Kate says, and presumably Tracy goes off to look up ‘angel’ in the dictionary, as it’s probably not a word that she has heard that often.
The guests start to arrive, and Brian is among the first. He confides that he has been given a poem to read and wonders if there is time for a stiffener. Yes Brian, and you may be able to fit in a drink as well. I’m sorry that double entendres seem to be creeping into this blog - I will try to keep more control.
Brian’s concern is the fact that Kate is organising the Ceremony and he is anticipating “Hippy nonsense - I fear we will probably have to weave flowers into each other’s hair.” There is a slight hiccup before the ceremony, when Adam and Ian tell Kate that they have decided that they would like Guide Parents for Xander. Sam has been chosen as one and the two parents wonder if Kate would consent to be the other? She is delighted and tells Brian to tell all the assembled guests that the ceremony will be delayed by 15 minutes, while he makes an announcement. I cannot help but think that, after the two additional lunch guests, the kitchen is going to be thrilled - especially if they have planned a soufflé for the first course.
As it turns out, the Ceremony is a great success, and, in answer to questions, Kate says that she has given Jakob his freedom and, anyway, today belongs to Xander, Ian and Adam and not her. Tracy has been trying to get Helen on her own, hoping to pick her brains regarding whether or not she (Tracy) should introduce her children to her new squeeze, Roman. My personal opinion is that what has Roman done to deserve this? But Helen’s advice is to take things slowly and casually.
The Naming Day seems eventful for people tying up loose ends, as Shula runs into Jim at Grey Gables - she’s surprised he is there, given his atheistic outlook. He is there for a swim and didn’t realise that it was Xander’s Naming Day. After the Ceremony, he and Shula have a coffee and she asks how is he doing? “Surprisingly well” he answers.
We need to backtrack here, as, earlier in the week, Jim received a postcard from Michael - a fellow victim of Harold Jayston - which said “You loaded the gun and I fired it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart - Michael and family.” This confirms the theory that Michael was the whistleblower who outed Harold Jayston as a paedophile, and it transpired that other victims have leapt onto the bandwagon and joined in the tirade of abuse against HJ. Indeed, we learn that HJ’s grave has been vandalised, with a cross, marked with ‘Paedophile’ stuck into it.
Back to the naming day. Jim tells Shula about HJ being outed, and he says that he wants to thank her - the advice she gave him allowed him to open up to Alistair and seek help. Like Michael, he says that she loaded the gun and he fired it and she deserves credit. He adds that he never appreciated her as a daughter-in-law, but now he considers her a friend. She asks if, in view of the compliment he has paid her, would he mind if she contributed to the Lent ‘Pay For a Compliment’ appeal? He says ‘no’, but Shula then goes further and asks if Jim will give her a hug? “All right then; just this once” her ex-father-in-law replies.
Just to wrap up the HJ story, Jim is in a quandary - now others have found the courage to denounce HJ, should he now go to the police? He decides not and Alistair and Jazzer (both of who Jim says were instrumental in helping him change his attitude when this all kicked off) agree that it is Jim’s decision. Jim thanks them both for their support and Alistair says, in a wondering voice, “Whatever happened to that man who couldn’t talk about his feelings?” “I think he’s come a long way.” Jim replies. Jazzer says that Jim has changed the world, which is tad hyperbolic.
Jakob’s crusade to slim down the horses at The Stables (and presumably increase his company’s profits at the same time) appears to be successful – Aziz has lost 13kg (he now weighs in at 520kg, in case you are interested). Lilian asks him, if everything is going so well, why is he so miserable? Jakob changes the subject and then goes to see Kate at Spiritual Home, saying “we need to talk.” He tells her that, when Kate thought she was pregnant, his first reaction was one of horror, but then he did some research and he came to realise that they could have coped “despite you being so disruptive.”
His life is one of order and routine, but the incident taught him that he can cope with the unexpected. He goes on: “By all rational analysis, we are totally incompatible, but I don’t care.” The old romantic goes further, saying that, given a choice of a life of anarchy with Kate, or a well-ordered, quiet life without her, he knows which one he wants. “I choose you, Kate, with all the disruption, insanity and fun…” but he is cut short when Kate throws her arms around him and drags him into the yurt.
Some time later, the pair talk and Kate says that she’s pleased to be back at The Lodge, rather than Jakob’s flat “as you are rather difficult to live with.” Jakob is amazed, saying “You turned my flat into a disaster zone.” She retaliates by telling him that all his systems were annoying – who on earth has a laundry basket with sub-divisions? “If you pre-sort, it saves time” is his answer and the pair indulge in some mock fighting.
Later on, Alistair is talking to Lilian and he tells her that Kate and Jakob are back as an item and he cannot understand it. “In every other aspect of his life, Jakob is like a robot, but with Kate, it’s like working with a teenager.”
Elsewhere, Roy is feeling very down – he tells Kirsty that his life seems to consist of boring admin (Kirsty has just given him some Health & Safety recommendations for the Health Club to read) and then he goes home to an empty house. Kirsty has a word with Philip and they agree to tell Roy of their plans for a secret wedding, followed by the Reception at the Brookfield barn (friends and family will be told that it is an engagement party, but they will have just got married). Roy asks why are they telling him this? Kirsty says because they want Roy to be their joint Best Man – will he accept? Roy is delighted and leaps at the chance. “Thank you!” he gushes, “That’d just what I need!” A word to the wise, Phil; Roy’s record in the Best Man stakes isn’t that successful, as he was supposed to be Tom Archer’s best man when Tom abandoned Kirsty at the altar.
Outside The Bull (sorry, The B@Ambridge) Lilian is proud of the new sign, which is a capital B and the @ symbol. She sees Lynda looking at it and asks if she is admiring it? “Admiring isn’t the right word” Lynda replies, tartly. Lilian then proceeds to pay Lynda lots of compliments, admiring her commitment, strength of purpose, community spirit and creative talent. “Others have said similar things” preens Lynda, to which Lilian says “That must be worth £20 at least for the Lent ‘Pay for a Compliment’ fund.” Lynda is scandalized – did Lilian say all that just to put the bite on Lynda? “Nobody said the compliments had to be sincere” Lilian replies, as Lynda pays up. “Aren’t you going to return the compliment?” Lilian asks. Lynda is incensed: “Are you mad? Absolutely not!” she replies.
On Friday, Oliver comes across Lynda and Robert, who are out with Muppet, the offspring of James (Lilian’s son) and Leonie (Robert’s daughter). They explain that James and Leonie are having a day at the races, leaving Muppet in the hands of the Snells. They have planned a full day, starting with a spell at the bird hide (Muppet was bored), followed by a session in an indoor play area, which gave Lynda a headache, finishing off with afternoon tea at the Tea Shop.
Lilian is at Grey Gables, waiting to meet someone, and Oliver mentions that he saw Robert and Lynda with young Muppet. Lilian is dumbstruck – she knew nothing of Muppet’s visit and she turns up at Ambridge Hall to confront Lynda; why didn’t she tell Lilian? Lynda says that she assumed James would have mentioned it to Lilian. “Don’t you speak to your son?” She asks, cuttingly. It turns out that Lilian does, as she rang James for an explanation. He said that when he spoke to Lynda, she said that Lilian was too busy with the pub rebranding to spend a day with her grandson. “How dare you use that just to spite me?” Lilian asks.
“That is an outrageous accusation,” Lynda retorts, “I would never be so petty” and adds that the fault is James’s, not hers. “How could you be so vile?” Lilian spits, adding: “This was a deliberate, spiteful act.” Lynda says, loftily, “If you believe anyone would use such a tactic, that says more about you than us.” “Shut up, you calculating harpy” is Lilian’s reply and Robert asks her to leave. Lilian does so, saying: “You have shown your true colours today, Lynda Snell, and I’m never going to forget it” as she slams the door. Robert suggests that it wouldn’t have hurt to mention Muppet’s visit to Lilian and Lynda comes over all defensive. “All in all, I think we could have handled this better” Robert adds, proving once again that, when it comes to understatement, he has no equal.
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