Michael Cochrane (Oliver Sterling)
Oliver Sterling came back to the UK a day earlier than planned,
as Caroline’s cremation was moved forward a day. At Grange Farm, Clarrie is in
a state because the B&B guests have chipped a jug that was a favourite of
Caroline’s. No worries, says Eddie – he will glue it and no-one will notice.
The B&B guests will be on their way in a couple of hours and Oliver isn’t
due to arrive back until tomorrow, so what can possibly go wrong?
As this is the Grundys we are talking about, the answer to that
is ‘how long have you got?’ Let’s face it, their track record of schemes and
scams has not exactly been a catalogue of successes, has it? More like a litany
of total failure if we are honest. Oliver decides he’ll take a walk to Grange
Farm, as it’s such a lovely day and Eddie and Clarrie are appalled to see him
standing by the gate, holding Caroline’s jug. Oliver is incensed and demands to
know what’s been going on in his house? Joe let him in – well, it is Oliver’s house, after all – and there
were two strangers sitting in the drawing room. Are the Grundys running a
B&B operation at Grange Farm?
Eddie tries to bluff it out, telling Oliver that he did discuss
it with him and, anyway, the current guests are the last, but Oliver is beyond
angry; he found the broken jug and says it is obvious that strangers have been
sleeping in his and Caroline’s bedroom. He and Caroline trusted the Grundys
with their home and they have been repaid with thoughtless, insensitive and
presumptuous behaviour (you forgot ‘devious’ and ‘underhand’, Oliver).
“Caroline had reservations and I think she was right” Oliver says. With his
unerring instinct for saying the wrong thing, Eddie says that he will mend the
jug. Oliver’s voice rises maniacally as he screams “The jug? You think this is
about the jug?” and he smashes the vessel on the ground. “See if you can mend that!” he yells at Eddie.
Later on, Eddie is looking on the bright side, when he tells
Clarrie that at least Oliver didn’t say anything about taking the house back.
Of course he didn’t – he was too bloody angry for that. Clarrie is mortified
and says “we’re going to leave anyway – how can we look him in the eye?” “Where
will we go?” Eddie asks, but Clarrie is distraught at their betrayal of
Oliver’s trust, saying “Oliver was so angry – when did you ever see Oliver
angry?” Eddie says he’ll talk to Oliver, plus he has got all the pieces of the
jug. Clarrie is exasperated and says to her husband “Don’t you understand,
Eddie? There are some things so broke that they can’t ever be fixed.” Another stunning
triumph for the Grundy family!
Oliver surprises Shula by saying that he’d like Alan to lead
the celebration of Caroline’s life – not as a vicar, but as a friend, and
preferably without the dog collar. Oliver seems to be coping with the loss of
his wife very well – almost too well, Shula thinks – but he did make a rather
strange remark about the memorial celebrations, saying that it was a pity that
Caroline won’t be there, as she loved a party.
We had developments on the romantic front last week, with Lexi
turning up at Roy’s for her English conversation lesson with Kirsty. But Kirsty
has double booked and has to go help with the packing up of the Happy Friends
Café. Never mind – she tells Roy that he can talk to Lexi. The conversation is
very stilted and Lexi says that perhaps she should leave, but, as she turns to
go, she notices a Stephen King novel in the bookcase and it turns out that both
she and Roy are massive fans. With the ice broken, the pair talk and Lexi is
still there when Kirsty comes home. As Lexi goes, Kirsty teases Roy – perhaps
he should add Lexi to his dating spreadsheet!
The other romantic development was between Rex and Anisha.
Anisha tells Alice that Rex has cancelled two running days this week, saying
that he’s got to work, but Anisha isn’t so sure, as Rex met a girl on his
birthday. Alice teases her, saying “you like him, you like him!” Later on, Rex
and Anisha do go for a run and the talk turns to the girl, with Anisha saying
“you can sleep with who you like.” Rex replies that he didn’t sleep with the
girl – he got her a taxi home and he didn’t even go in for coffee. He prepares
to go home, but Anisha invites him in for a shower and a coffee. I don’t know
how quick Rex or Anisha are at running, but they are no slouches when it comes
to sex, as the next thing we know, they are in bed together. Neither of them
wants to rush into a relationship and Rex suggests that they just see where it
leads. Anisha obviously has a good idea where it’s going and invites him to
stay in bed. I thought he was up to his ears in work? I’m pleased for them both
and hope it works out.
Another relationship that’s apparently going along nicely is
that of PCB and Fallon, although the house-hunting is depressing as, in
comparison with Woodbine Cottage, everything else seems either unsatisfactory
or so ordinary. Chris learns that they are looking for a house and says that,
when they’ve gone, she doesn’t think she could face having new tenants in and
will probably sell the place. Oh yes – and there’s an Estate Agent coming round
today at 1pm. It turns out that Woodbine is worth twice what she was expecting,
which would seem to suggest that either Christine hasn’t got her finger on the
pulse of property values or that house prices in Ambridge are booming way over
the national average. Christine says that Fallon and PCB can have first
refusal, but, as Fallon tells Jill later on, the only way that they could
afford it is in their dreams. I suspect that something is going to happen and
that PCB and Fallon will become the new owners of Woodbine – perhaps Harrison
has an offshore bank account.
Things are getting nasty between Matt and Justin. Monday was
the day of Matt’s important Investors’ Meeting at Grey Gables and there was a
large number of no-shows. Neither Matt nor his boss Hugo are very happy and
Matt is reduced to inviting Christine and Peggy to sit in and listen. Christine
is flattered because Matt says Hugo asked her because of her extensive
knowledge of horses. Peggy says she’s not going, but Christine says at least it
means a free lunch. “There’s no such thing” Peggy observes wisely.
The ladies are joined for coffee by Justin and they remark that
he looks so very happy. Is there a reason? “It’s just a perfect day.” He tells
them. Justin is still smiling the following day and, when Lilian asks why, he
says that it is because Matt’s day was such a damp squib. Lilian describes it
as ‘karmic justice’ and the pair drink to that. Later on, Justin and Matt have
a chance encounter at the Bridge Farm shop and Matt says that he spent some
time last night running through the list of no-shows. Ignoring Justin’s digs
about how sad and empty Matt’s life must be, Matt says that he discovered that
all the no-shows had had business dealings with Justin. Not so much Karmic
justice, as Justin’s justice, it would seem.
From here on, the conversation gets more personal and slightly
nastier. Justin says that he knows Matt tried to sabotage the Bridge Farm land
sale and thanks Matt for saving him £100k “although I doubt that was your
intention.” Justin goes on: “A word in your shell-like; it’s not a good idea to
irritate me. If you want to play with the big boys, you have to learn the
rules.” “Are you threatening me?” asks Matt, to which Justin replies “Just
offering advice. Stay away from my business affairs and my private affairs,
then, if you are very lucky, I’ll stay away from yours.”
Matt ignores this advice and posts what Lilian describes as ‘a
drunken rant’ on the planning website, vehemently protesting about the proposed
development on the Bridge Farm land. (Rumours that Tom wanted the development
to be known as ‘Kimchi Corner’ cannot be substantiated). Lilian asks Justin if
he sabotaged Matt’s meeting – something to which he readily admits, saying “Of
course I did, but that’s nothing compared to what I’ll do next.”
Justin is very angry about what Matt is saying, describing it
as “the final provocation – I should have acted sooner. Lilian describes Matt’s
comments as ‘vexing’, but is Justin overreacting? Is it jealousy that’s
motivating him? “This isn’t jealousy, it’s payback” is Justin’s answer and he
adds: “I’ve been too patient for too long – I intend to teach Matt Crawford a
lesson he sorely needs; I’m going to crush him.” So, no birthday card then,
Justin?
Let’s leave this feud simmering nicely and turn to the
Messianic-like fervour with which Jill is embracing the cause of not wasting
food. Not only does she make repeated (unsuccessful) attempts to get Brian to
cancel his table at the grand opening of the Duxford sisters’ new restaurant
(even asking Rooooth to bring up the subject at a meeting at Home Farm), but
she lectures the Fete Committee on the sisters’ unsuitability to open the Fete.
The rest of the committee disagree and believe that it will be a great coup for
the event but, probably to shut Jill up, they agree that the fete takings
should go to the Happy Friends Café.
Kirsty has an idea to protest at a Duxford’s PR event next
month and Jill wants to join in. Kirsty suggests that she might be a bit too
old but Jill is adamant that she’ll be there. To show you how far things have
gone, a peckish Rooooth reaches for the cake tin in Brookfield’s kitchen and,
shock, horror! It’s empty! “I’ve got more important things on my mind at the
moment” says Jill, somewhat testily.
To be honest, Jill’s obsession with waste is getting on my
nerves and God alone knows what it must be like at meal times at Brookfield –
imagine if Ben left a sprout on his plate! Another example of Jill’s obsessive
zeal came at Matt’s Investors’ Day, when Peggy remarked about all the no-shows
and Jill immediately said something about the shameful waste of food that this
meant. Lighten up Jill – if Brian wants to spend hundreds on a meal, that’s his
business – and you can’t feed the world, or even Borsetshire, come to that.
Finally, a word of warning for Christine. Matt seems worryingly
attentive to her and was all over her like a cheap suit at the Investors’ Day –
and this was before he even knew that she was contemplating selling Woodbine.
If she goes ahead and he gets a sniff that she has capital to spare, will he
put pressure on her to invest in his racecourse, as she loves horses so much? I
fear for her financial well-being, but let’s look on the bright side – perhaps
Justin will crush Matt before this happens.
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