Not Going, Not Going – Gone

William Troughton (Tom Archer)

Tom has come to a decision - he cannot bear the thought of going to Brazil and talking about organic baby food after Kirsty’s miscarriage. On Monday he tells Tony, who advises him not to make any rash decisions, but on Tuesday Tom tells Kirsty that, not only is he not going to Brazil, but he has dropped out of the Nuffield scheme altogether. “What’s the point of having plans?” he asks Kirsty mournfully. Kirsty is appalled - it’s such a brilliant opportunity for him and for Bridge Farm. “If I hadn’t miscarried you’d be going to Brazil” she tells him, adding that he shouldn’t brood and to talk to Nuffield. “I’ve made my decision and that door is definitely closed.” Tom says.

Well, that sounds definite enough and, on Thursday, Tom is talking to Rooooth, who mentions his forthcoming trip to South America. “That’s not going to happen any more” Tom informs her. Rooooth tells him of her miscarriage a few years ago and says “It will get easier Tom - eventually.” Tom admits that Kirsty thinks he should go and Rooooth says “If you don’t want to make Kirsty feel guilty, is it really too late to change your mind?”

Having nailed his colours to the mast all week, on Friday we hear Helen driving her brother to the airport. He is about to go airside when he has another moment of doubt - he feels like he’s running out on Kirsty again. Helen points out that Kirsty wants him to go and she will keep an eye on Kirsty and would he please just bugger off and get on the plane?

Personally, I reckon Kirsty is glad to get rid of him, as he’s moping around after her like a lovesick puppy, telling her how hard it all is for him. For her part, it’s very much business as usual for Kirsty as she returns to her job at the Grey Gables Health Club, filled with enthusiasm and energy. Kirsty is a bit annoyed that everybody is treating her as if she were made of glass and Lynda is the worst offender. Lynda seems determined to force Kirsty into moping, saying that she understands that work can be a distraction. “I don’t need distraction; I’m enjoying being back, I’ve got lots of ideas” Kirsty tells her. Lynda persists, telling Kirsty that she should give herself permission to grieve. This is when Kirsty makes her ‘made of glass’ speech and spells it out to Lynda, saying: “There’s no need; I’ve dealt with it. I just want to do my job and get on with the rest of my life - if that’s all right with everybody else.” So that’s you told, then Lynda - just leave the poor girl alone, for heaven’s sake and let her enjoy a few Tom-free days, or weeks, or however long he will be in Brazil for.

This was the week of Jennifer’s party and, come Tuesday, Fallon and Emma still haven’t had any inspiration on how to develop Jen’s theme of ‘land’. Emma appeals to Jim - can he help them fulfil what she describes as “the worst brief we’ve ever had”? Jim says he’ll have a think and, later on, he puts forward the idea of Zeus and the cornucopia, or Horn of Plenty. Emma is impressed - they could have individual cornucopiae for all the courses and the main course will be pies - shepherd’s, rabbit and a veggie option. An excited Emma thanks Jim and rushes off to tell Fallon.

The two girls talk the theme through with Jennifer, who is delighted with their ideas. So delighted is she that, on the night of the party, she is talking to Jim and implies that it was she that gave the idea to Fallon and Emma. To his credit, Jim doesn’t correct her and continues with his given job of looking after the Mayor of Felpersham. This is no easy task, as she is necking the Sancerre at an alarming rate. Jim suggests to Brian that he goes easy on topping up the Mayor’s glass. Too late and the Mayor ends the evening in the bathroom, talking to God on the large, white telephone. Her story is that she must have had some broccoli, to which she is allergic, but as Jennifer observes, there was no broccoli in any of the dishes.

Jennifer is on tenterhooks all evening, hoping that nothing goes wrong and trying to make sure that Lilian keeps a safe distance from Justin. She doesn’t actually tether her to the kitchen table, but only because she has no rope. Justin is keeping close to Miranda, who remarks that they haven’t seen much of Lilian and shouldn’t they go and talk to her? Justin is non-committal and distracts his wife with a glass of wine. Miranda is unimpressed with the food, remarking that it appears to be pie or nothing and the shepherd’s pie looks the least revolting.

The evening wears on and Justin is getting his and Miranda’s coats. Miranda has disappeared and Justin runs into Lilian. He notices that one of her earrings has fallen out and is caught on her blouse. He removes it and hands it to her and we hear Miranda saying to herself “Very thoughtful of you Justin.” He and Miranda say their goodbyes and she has a face like thunder. As Brian remarks to Jennifer “Did you see the expression on her face? It would have stopped a tank.” Lilian joins Jen and Brian, telling her sister, who is regretting inviting the Mayor, “At least I haven’t let you down tonight - you were worrying about the wrong person all night long.”

I think you might be speaking a bit soon there, Lilian and that Miranda will soon be whispering things into Justin’s shell-like. I’d use that Damara credit card while you still can, if I were you.

At Brookfield, David is getting somewhat teed off with Josh - David wants him to help with the lambing, but Josh has to rush off and see Rex about a piece of kit for the Ambridge Farm Machinery website. He is jubilant because they have actually sold a machine and tells Rex that his share will be £150, although he cannot have it yet. That’s a pity, as Rex is strapped for cash. Josh seems to be recruiting half of Ambridge to publicise his business, as he asks Eddie if he will take some leaflets when he goes to market. Eddie wants to know what’s in it for him and Josh says that he can have bottles of expensive drink - vintage wine, whisky; whatever takes Eddie’s fancy. I’d put some upper limit on it Josh, or you could be out of pocket.

We said that Rex is short of money and Anisha is surprised when she calls a taxi and Rex turns up as the driver. She has been seeing a local Stud manager, as she feels that she should try and rope in some new clients, having persuaded Alistair to spend shedloads of cash on modernising the practice, She tells Rex that she needs to get herself better known in the area and he says that one way to do that would be to join the cricket team. “Are you serious?” she asks, adding that having women in the team was rejected at the AGM. Rex says that, if she, Molly Button and Lily are interested, then Harrison Burns could call an Extraordinary General Meeting and take another vote.

Rex and Anisha get in some practice in the nets and it turns out that, while her batting needs improvement, she is a more-then-useful off spinner. She agrees that Rex can tell PCB that she’s interested and the two of them agree to keep their cricket practice sessions a secret for the moment.

Lily might be interested in cricket, but the way she is going, she’ll either soon be dead or in prison, the way she drives. She gets David to take her out for a lesson and she loses control and nearly runs into Lynda Snell. Lynda is incensed and berates David and Lily, calling her behaviour just the latest example of an increasing spate of bad and too fast driving and that something needs to be done about it. David asks her to give Lily a few moments, as she is in a state of shock. Her and Lynda I reckon. The following day, Lynda is mollified somewhat when Lily gives her a pot of narcissi by way of apology, although, if Lily doesn’t curb her appetite for speed, I reckon she will have to make a bid to buy Interflora in order to placate the shaken inhabitants of Ambridge.