Another Bloody Christmas Ruined!

Kellie Bright (Kate Madikane)

Whose Christmas? Mine, that’s who. And why? The writers showed a particularly sadistic streak when, on Friday, they had Jennifer saying that she’s got some good news - Kate is so worried about Phoebe that she’ll be coming over for Christmas “for at least three weeks”.

Sorry? Good news? And why is Kate so worried about Phoebe now? After all, she buggered off to South Africa when Phoebe was little more than a baby, so why the sudden parenting urge? This news, after Wayne’s (blessedly brief) return and that of Tom (sadly, threatened to be permanent) has really made the last few months totally depressing. Jennifer says how nice it will be to have the family together; especially if Debbie comes over from Hungary. Not if she has any sense, she won’t.

Having removed all forms of harm from our reach, let’s go back to Jennifer, - she is incandescent when she learns that David and Rooooth are selling Brookfield to Justin Eliot, accusing them of betraying the village and at a loss to understand how and why they could do such a thing. Perhaps £7.5 million could have something to do with it? Jen says that she would never betray her principles for such a sum (presumably what she spent on the new kitchen) and indignantly asks Brian if he would sell out for such a sum?

Brian (who, let’s be honest, would not only sell his grandmother for half that amount but would volunteer to dig her up into the bargain) suggests that until one is made such an offer, it is difficult to say how you would react. David’s siblings all reacted in the same way, which could be summed up as “give me my share” – even Shula, who David and Rooooth thought would be against the sale, was there with her hand out. In fact, Shula was the first to ask for her share, beating Elizabeth by a short head. Kenton meanwhile was anxious not to appear too keen to take his share, unaware that his sisters had got in before him. Jill was a bit upset that no-one wanted to keep their investment in the family farm, but her daughters pointed out that it would be at the other end of the country and there would be no emotional attachment, as with Brookfield. All I can say is that, if the sale of Brookfield falls through (as it must, surely?) there will be a lot of disappointed people about.

Adam is already disappointed, as Justin’s bid is way more than Home Farm could afford and Adam has a go at Charlie, accusing him of trying to buy up Ambridge bit by bit. “You’re not going to get your hands on Home Farm” Adam tells him. Brian, meanwhile, is incensed that half the Borsetshire Land board knew of Justin’s interest in Brookfield and nobody told him. So angry is he that he resigns from the BL board, which is probably what Justin wanted in the first place.

Over at Bridge Farm, Rob’s plans for world domination come up against Tom’s new-found determination to keep things as they are for when Tony comes home. Rob has taken a couple of, what are, according to him, minor decisions. One of these was to change the feeding regime, substituting potatoes for grass. “That’s not how we do things at this farm”, Tom says and sends them back. Rob has also unilaterally decided to substitute another (cheaper) breed of cow for the Angus dams. Tom says that Tony wanted a 100% Angus herd and cancels the order. Bad luck Rob.

So how is Tony? The short answer is ‘not too good’ as the antibiotics he was given are not working and, until his infection clears up, the hospital cannot operate on him. Peggy has been kept in the dark about just how bad he is and, when Tom takes her to see him, she is shocked at his appearance. Peggy says she bitterly regrets leaving Tony out of her Will and that his present condition is all her fault, as it was this that made him buy the cattle to try and prove that he is not the failure that his mother seems to think he is. “No mother could have loved a son as much as I love you” she tells him, prompting the thought that she’s had a funny way of showing it over the years.

A happier story is that of Emma and Ed. Clarrie urges Emma to ask Will if they can rent No. 1 The Green for a short let and at a reduced rate. On a scale of probability from 1 to 10, this would be about -3, I reckon, but, unbelievably, Will agrees to a six month let. Emma’s appeal that Ed is Will’s brother didn’t work (“I wouldn’t play the family card if I were you” William tells her) and Will only gives in when Emma points out that George would love it and besides, surely it’s better to have some rent coming in rather than none at all?

The week ends with the Christmas lights switch on around the Green and Ed is mystified when Emma produces the keys to No. 1 and says that Will wants George to switch on the lights. The light eventually dawns on Ed and he says he cannot get his head round Will doing him a favour (I must say I found it difficult too). As if this wasn’t enough, Emma has decided that Ed is “a brave and amazing man” and she asks him to marry her. An overjoyed Ed shouts “Yes! Yes!” no doubt leading the people watching the switch on to wonder who it is that is having the orgasm – the lights aren’t that good, surely?