Sunday, 16 March 2014

A Happy Event?

Felicity Finch (Ruth Archer)

So now we know – Rooooth’s listlessness and unpredictable outbursts of temper may not be down to The Change, or a recurrence of her cancer, but to a surprise pregnancy. At least, that’s Jill’s theory and Rooooth’s reaction is “Pregnant? I can’t be!” Well, she should know. Get that pregnancy testing kit ready!

In case you are interested, Rooooth will be 46 on June 16th and I really hope we are not going to have another lot of discussions about the potential difficulties facing older mothers and the increased risk of having a Downs’ Syndrome child, as we had with Vicky’s pregnancy.

Elsewhere, I would wager a small sum on something drastic happening to Tony’s new herd in the near future – a few weeks ago, Tom remarked that one of the cows didn’t appear to be particularly interested in grazing and last week Mike (to whom Tony was showing off his cattle) made the same observation. Tony’s reaction in both cases was that the cows need time to adjust to their new surroundings. Also, Tony keeps making comments like “they’re magnificent beasts” and how they’ll give him a tidy profit in a year or two, all of which sounds like he’s riding for a fall to me.

Someone else possibly riding for a fall, according to Adam, is Helen. In fact, he says “She’s riding so high; it’s further to fall.” Adam and Ian have been invited to Rob and Helen’s for dinner and the evening does not go very well. Rob demonstrates a high degree of control freakery when he dismisses Helen’s stir fry (which she has spent some time preparing) and goes out and buys steaks. He also stops her going upstairs to comfort a crying Henry.
The conversation isn’t exactly sparkling, with Rob being a touch patronising throughout. Helen seems to be getting quietly sloshed, saying things like “Rob is so athletic” and giggling. The final straw for Ian comes when Rob talks about ‘when we are living in The Lodge’. Ian goes out for a cigarette and is joined by Adam; Ian, who is normally someone who sees the best in everyone, tells Adam that Rob is insensitive (Peggy is still alive after all) and Ian was incensed enough to tell Rob that he and Adam will be entering Daniel’s ‘Rough and Tumble Challenge’ and Ian wants to wipe the smile off Rob’s face.
I think that Ian is in for a shock, as Daniel is taking the design of his assault course very seriously, suggesting that he put hurdles in a stream, which people have to swim under. Bloody hell, Dan – it’s supposed to be a bit of fun for Sport Relief, not a try-out for joining the SAS. Dan takes Kenton on a run-through of the course and it was nearly the last thing that Kenton ever did, as he collapsed, wheezing and coughing at the end. At Brookfield, Ben says that he’s heard that Sir Bradley Wiggins will be presenting the prizes, whereupon the others scoff and mock him. You should have taken bets, Ben.
Jennifer is still pursuing her dream kitchen and Ian recommends a design specialist called Kingsley. Kingsley turns up at Home Farm and immediately overwhelms Jennifer with a load of pretentious twaddle, such as “your kitchen needs to function intuitively for you.” And if you’re lucky, it might prepare a three-course meal while you are out. I think that Brian – and his wallet – are in for a nasty shock.
At The Bull, Kenton has given up alcohol for Lent and Jolene, chocolate. What is it with all these people who have no interest in religion and who only go to church when someone dies or gets married, suddenly start giving things up for Lent? The expectation, even among atheists such as Jim, seems to be that everyone should give up something. Personally, I’d tell them to take their God-bothering elsewhere and, if I were going to give up anything for Lent, it would be religion.
Brenda came back to Ambridge, with the news that she is engaged to Adrian and sharing his flat in Wapping. Adrian is a high flyer, with his own software company and Brenda appears to have traded up a bit from Tom the Sausage King. Incidentally, when Mike broke the news of Brenda’s engagement to Tony and Pat, Tony’s comment was that “it didn’t take her long to find someone” – about six weeks longer than Tom, from memory.
Tom and Brenda talk about his plans to buy a house and he says he wants to be independent and that Gran is helping out. “Not that independent then?” observes Brenda, but this goes right over Tom’s head.

Finally, it seems that Tom and Kirsty’s wedding could be quite interesting, as Alice (in full wedding planner mode) makes the observation that she is looking at a nature-themed event and tells Kirsty that she sees her as a Green Goddess. I don’t know about you, but I think that a wedding based on a theme of an antiquated military fire engine is something that people will talk about and remember for a long time.

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