Sunday, 18 August 2013

Jennifer Gets In The Way

Angela Piper (Jennifer Aldridge)

I have said before that Jennifer appears to be one of life's natural gooseberries and has all the sensitivity of a cast iron dustbin. On Wednesday, Helen and Rob arrange for a bit of a shagfest in the afternoon. They meet up in the shop and are on the verge of leaving to go to Rob's when Jennifer turns up and starts babbling about inconsequential things.

Rob leaves and Jennifer continues to bend Helen's ear. "I wasn't interrupting, was I?" Jennifer asks brightly, no doubt prompted by the stream of saliva running down Helen's chin. Jennifer then witters on about the flower and produce show and about the organ fund. Helen, who clearly has other organs on her mind, is only half listening and can't wait to escape. Honestly, if Jennifer came across Helen and Rob in flagrante delicto, she'd probably only notice that Helen hasn't folded her clothes properly.

Nobody could accuse me of being vindictive – not if they wanted to keep a full set of teeth, anyway – but I really hope that something happens to bring Martyn Gibson down; just a small accident or a spell in prison, as he is becoming increasingly obnoxious. At the golf club, Brian remarks to Kathy that Martyn has told him that there is all sorts of skulduggery going on. Kathy replies through gritted teeth that she's only too happy if Martyn points out problems.

The next day, Martyn is haunting the bar, moaning that 15% of food in the freezers is out of date and an increasingly-rattled Kathy drops a gin bottle, prompting more sarcasm from Martyn. On Friday evening, Kathy and Pat go to see an open air Shakespeare play and Kathy is dismayed to see Martyn there. He proves that it's not just Kathy he can be nasty to as, when Kathy introduces Pat, he says "Oh yes – you're the farm that had the e-coli." Nice one, Martyn. He then proceeds to ruin Kathy's weekend by saying that he wants a report on stock control in his Inbox on Monday morning. Pity you didn't break that gin bottle over his head, Kathy.

Caroline and Oliver's holiday moved a step closer – Caroline says she is unable to find a suitable temporary replacement manager, so Oliver steps in and contacts a former colleague, Ray, who has a long history of working in hotels, catering, cruises. Caroline wants to give him the once over, so Oliver invites him and his wife to dinner. Ray is impressive, performing silver service and clearing away the dishes. He even praises the food and, despite Caroline's earlier instructions not to jump the gun, Oliver starts talking as if Ray has already got the job. Caroline is rapidly running out of excuses and it looks as though this holiday will, in fact, really happen.

Congratulations to Daniel, who Shula phoned (he's in the USA) with his A-level results. He got three As (one of which was an A*) and a B, the little swot.

The guest list at the wedding of Kenton and Jolene continues to grow – Kenton was on the phone to ex-wife Mel to see when Meriel will be coming over. Mel informs him that she will be coming over too, as she wants to see her daughter in her bridesmaid's dress. I always thought that you had to be invited to weddings, rather than just turn up, but perhaps they do things differently in New Zealand; after all, I don't suppose sheep can read, can they?

Kenton breaks the news to Jolene, who takes it very well, considering. After all, it can't be much fun having your husband's ex in the congregation. This theme of links with the past is continued when Kenton asks Jamie if he would be his best man. Jamie is taken aback, but then agrees enthusiastically, as long as he can organise the stag night – I hope for the sakes of those attending that it is quite a few days before the wedding, or there will be some sore heads. Kenton reminds Jamie that he will have to make a speech and a gleeful Jamie says that he has got so many stories about Kenton, he could go on for hours.

Lilian gets a phone call from Brenda, who is in London with her Russian boyfriend and Lilian gets a bit arsey when Brenda tells her that she doesn't know where Matt is. Brenda says "if you want to know anything else, you'll have to speak to Matt." I don't know where he is either.

Tom appears to be turning into a human being – when Tony tells him that, after topping up their pensions, there isn't enough money left for a new tractor, he is philosophical. Tom takes Kirsty for a curry as a 'thank you' for coming up with the 'piggery jokery' concept, if that isn't too grand a word. Tom said he thought that she and Patrick were a couple. She says no and then proceeds to tell Tom about Brenda's Russian boyfriend. He takes it well and says "it was bound to happen sometime." The old Tom would have refused to believe that his ex could live without him and we had further evidence of a change when Kirsty asks about Ready Meals and he says the subject is off limits tonight. Presumably the rest of the evening was spent in silence.

1 comment:

  1. What a marvellous blog. Kind of hoping (uncharitably) that Tony walks in on Helen and Rob "at it" and its all too much for his poor old heart!