Monday, 29 July 2013

Watch Your Back, Kathy

Hedli Niklaus (Kathy Perks)

Kathy hasn't had a big part in any recent storylines, but she featured prominently last week, when Martyn Gibson announces that the golf club committee have given him a roving brief to look into every aspect of how the club's being run, why revenues are down and could Kathy have a detailed financial report ready for him by Monday?

I can suggest one reason why revenue is down – it appears that an integral part of Martyn's new responsibilities is having a scotch on standby at all times and not paying for it. Nice work if you can get it. Meanwhile, Kathy is being fitted out with the 'scapegoat' outfit and a portable gallows is being built on the 18th green – I fear that she hasn't heard the last of Martyn. Incidentally, congratulations to the actor playing Martyn – his slimeball voice couldn't be better.

We don't know what Kathy thinks of the forthcoming nuptials between Jolene (widow of Kathy's former husband Sid) and Kenton (ex live-in lover) but I suspect she won't be on the top table at the reception. Speaking of Jolene and Kenton, he's splashing out a bit, isn't he? Firstly he buys Jolene a diamond engagement ring, then we hear him on the phone to Meriel in New Zealand, telling her about the wedding and that he'll pay for her to come over. Where's all this money coming from? If I were Jolene I'd check the tills in The Bull and if I were Meriel, with Kenton's reputation for unreliability, I'd start swimming now.

Sunday's episode was taken up largely by the Fete/Highland Games and Lynda being incensed when Kathy tells her that she recognises Dougie (the alleged Clan Chief brought along by Jazzer to open proceedings) as someone who works in a fish and chip shop in Borchester. Lynda is all for denouncing Jazzer as a fraud over the PA system, until Jim convinces her that Dougie does in fact have a case for founding a new clan. Jim's case seems to be based on the fact that Dougie is Scottish, which sounds a bit thin to me. Lynda, however, does a complete about turn and wonders if Dougie would address the haggis at her next Burns' Night supper.

Actually, Lynda featured a lot last week too; while Caroline is off sick, Lynda has stepped up to the plate at Grey Gables and is full of good ideas, receiving praise from Oliver. Her best idea was sending Will in via the back entrance for his meeting with Brian and Martyn, because of his dust-laden working clothes. Good for you Lynda, although I would have had him hosed down in the yard first.

Just as Rob and Helen seemed to be getting closer, there was a cooling off. Rob was looking for places to photograph for the Welcome Pack to be given to the mega-dairy staff and Helen suggests a local beauty spot, which is a favourite of Henry's and they are going there on Saturday if Rob would like to join them. He tells her that Jess (his wife) is coming up to Ambridge for the weekend and, feeling slightly embarrassed, Helen leaves. The next day, however, as Rob is out photographing with Tom, the talk turns to Helen and Tom says he's surprised that it isn't her showing Rob round the nature reserve. There is talk of how Helen has combined running a shop, making and selling cheese with being a good mother. "That's what so impressive about her" says Rob.

There is a twist on Friday when Rob drops into Ambridge Organics to stock up on cereal bars, furious because Jess phoned to say she can't drive up to Ambridge and he has to go to Hampshire, or wherever Jess's parents live. Rob admits that things haven't been too good between them recently and Ambridge would be a good place to start over, but Jess is being totally unreasonable. He is grateful to Helen for listening and has calmed down before setting off. Later, Pat learns that Helen and Rob were chatting in the AO office and she immediately asks whether Rob's wife is any closer to finding work in Ambridge, to which Helen replies "I don't know Mum and I don't care – it's none of my business." Hmm.

We had a warning of the folly of acting on impulse when Lilian had an AmSide cheque bounce and subsequently found out that Matt has been drawing on the account in Russia. Incensed, she stops his cards, then feels guilty because she realises he'll have no money to live on. Sadly, to reinstate his cards, she will have to send new ones to St. Petersburg, but he isn't answering his phone, so she doesn't know where to send them. The story of Matt and Brenda (who, we learn from a conversation between Helen and Fallon, has a new boyfriend in Russia) is being played out on Radio 4 Extra – don't get me started.

Lastly, we had a reminder that Will is going to be a father again when he and Dad Eddie discuss possible names. Eddie is all for 'Gilbert' and 'Duncan', but Will isn't keen. Will says he had a job dissuading Nic from choosing Adele as a name and Eddie says that could have caused confusion, as one of his ferrets is called Adele. I can see that – if someone asks "Should I change Adele?" or "Have you put Adele's name down for nursery school?", you'd have to ask yourself "now, are they talking about the ferret or not?" Eddie then says that Joe would be delighted if the child were to be named after him – I don't know about you, but personally I think it would be cruel to call a child 'Miserable, moaning old git'.

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