Thursday, 22 March 2012

You Try To Be Nice To People...

John Rowe (Jim Lloyd)

And where does it get you? In Jim Lloyd's case, the answer is "in deep trouble". If I were Jim, I'd smack Alan Franks in the mouth, man of God or not, as his idea of paying someone a compliment every day is back firing mightily.

Firstly Jim compliment Vicky on looking 'trim', which makes her think that he must have thought her fat before. She tells husband Mike, who immediately thinks Jim is lusting after his wife and the conversation between the two becomes a little heated. Jim then compliments Christine on her "alluring" perfume and she confides to Jill that he might be lusting after her and she thinks of him only as a friend.

The trouble with the "be nice once a day" scheme is that, if you have gained a reputation for being a miserable, grumpy old sod (which Jim has), then the transformation to gushing compliment provider is hard to take. Pack it in now Jim before someone hangs one on you – go back to your normal, curmudgeonly self and everyone will be happier, including you.

Someone who definitely isn't happy is Brian. When Rufus (the PR guru) expresses concern about the demonstrations against the mega-dairy, Brian goes off on one, saying how it makes his blood boil and "I'll see this dairy happen if it's the last thing I do!" Calm down Brian, or it might well just be that.

Later on in the week, Brian's blood pressure goes even higher when there is a large demonstration at the market. Eddie, whose birthday it is, tries to see a lorry through and suddenly he's on the ground, having hit his head. Did he fall or was he pushed? Nobody knows, but a quick trip to A&E reveals no lasting damage (how could they tell?) and Eddie takes Clarrie to the pub for a meal but is mortified because she won't let him drink.

Brian turns up and offers him some money to defray expenses such as a taxi back from hospital, plus a bit extra. Brian then asked Eddie if he was sure that he hadn't been pushed by a protester?
Eddie, who is usually quick on the uptake when there's a chance to make money, says "No, I just slipped". Presumably a disappointed Brian re-pockets the brown envelope with Eddie's name on it and a large wedge of cash inside.

As well as Eddie's birthday, it's Ben's as well and joy is unconfined when the Consultant Lisa agrees that Rooooth's plans for the dairy herd stand a chance of making money. The reprieved cows breathe a sigh of relief before removing their blindfolds and grinding out the last cigarettes.

Last week I mentioned that we hadn't heard from Kathy or Jamie recently. Me and my big gob, as we had Jamie going clothes shopping with girlfriend Natalie (and what exciting radio that was) and agonising over whether or not to play for the cricket team. Does he really want to spend hours with boring old men? No, so he comes up with the idea of attracting younger recruits by having an extra training night, aimed at youth. Presumably when they have finished, they'll go out, get wasted on vodka and indulge in a little bird hide-trashing?

Just when you thought that Tony couldn't get more boring, he gets more boring. At least, that's what I thought when he went wittering onto Tom about how lost he felt when he and Pat realised that they may never see Rich again, but he had to be strong for Pat. For her part, Pat is beating herself up because she has neglected Tony in the recent past (true, true) and compensates by force-feeding him rice pudding. However, she vows to change, telling Helen something like: "I'll never take what's-his-name for granted again."

All this hand wringing and 'what might have been-ing' gets to Tom, who tells Helen that he has never seen his Dad like that and it would mean so much to them if they could see Rich and perhaps they could make it happen for them. Never mind that any revelation would turn Rich's, Sharon's and Eamonn's domestic life upside down – this is about Pat and Tony and sod everybody else.

Tom says that, had Tony died, Rich would never have known his Granddad. Call me callous, but so what? At present, Rich doesn't know he's got a Granddad - had Tony died, he still wouldn't know, so how would this affect Rich exactly? What you've never had, you never miss and I think that Pat and Tony (and Tom and Helen) are opening up a can of worms.

Anyway, Helen rings Kylie and tells her about Tony's heart attack. Helen asks Kylie whether she will intercede with Sharon about meeting up with Helen to talk the situation through. Kylie proves very sympathetic and agrees to talk to her mum, although she says that there's no way that she (Kylie) can tell Rich about his grandparents. Assuming that Kylie does talk to her mum, then it' down to you Sharon – remember the conditions that you laid on Pat and Tony; one visit and one visit only. You must be strong for Rich's sake, not to mention the sakes of five million listeners who really, really don't want to go through the whole angst-ridden Rich situation a second time.

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