Tuesday, 1 February 2011

Clarrie Turns Nasty

Rosalind Adams (Clarrie Grundy)

Well, nasty for her, anyway. She wants to get to the dairy before Vicky "to keep the upper hand" as she puts it. Before Clarrie goes, Emma turns up, obviously racked by guilt and worried that Nic is getting her feet firmly under the table, "to see if there's anything you need". "Too late now," says Clarrie, in her stern voice, "it was when I had the plaster on that I needed help." So that's told you Emma – even the fact that you are carrying Clarrie's grandchild doesn't give you brownie points.

At the dairy, Clarrie accidentally (?) doesn't tell Vicky the correct way to load up the van and then berates her for making a mistake, calling it "a novice's error" when Pat asks what's up. Mind you, Vicky has her own problems, having snagged a fingernail. Quick! Where's the accident book?

Pat decides to keep them apart and moves Clarrie into the cheese-making room, where Clarrie learns that Vicky will be gone by the weekend and promptly offers to bake a cake for the farewell tea.

Food figured prominently last week – the farmhouse breakfasts at the Bull went down a storm, with seemingly the entire village turning out for a fry-up. Even Lizzie turned up with Freddie and Lily, who were promptly offered by Jolene a hot chocolate, with chocolate flake, cream and marshmallows, presumably followed by a sick bag and a cholesterol test. On Sunday evening, Lizzie gets emotional when listening to the quarter peal of bells, arranged by Neil in Nigel's memory. Freddie, who is rapidly turning into his Dad, says that he'd like to learn to ring the bells someday. You're better off drinking it Freddie.

Harry and Jazzer's Burns, Night supper was a great success, with Harry's haggis turning out perfectly (of course). Jazzer addresses the haggis (presumably along the lines of 'what're you looking at, haggis?') and everyone has a good time, apart from Emma, who can't eat haggis and has OD'd on shortbread, anyway. Poor Harry is totally shagged out and not looking forward to an early start next day when Jazzer reveals that he has invited a load of friends along for an all-nighter. What a pal!

Back at Lower Loxley, Lizzie moves into control freak (or, as I like to call it, 'Helen') mode, despatching David to help Reg run the Estate and Rare Breeds. David is rapidly cruising towards a nervous breakdown due to his insistence on arranging the Barrington-Hughes wedding single-handedly, making basic errors back at Brookfield and snapping at Kenton. You can tell how the strain is getting to him, when Mrs B-H calls his mobile just as he is trying to do something complicated on the farm. "Blast!" he yells, after the call is over. I say, steady on, David! Eventually David sees sense (two weeks later than five million listeners) and lets Kenton and Lewis handle the wedding, while he concentrates on what he knows best, which is presumably sticking his arm up a cow's bum.

Lizzie is working all hours, David is running himself ragged and Ruth can barely cope – what with Lizzie's history of a weak heart, we could be on for another funeral soon as the Archer family runs itself into the ground and Jill worries about all of them.

And so to young Henry, who leaves the safety of hospital and is paraded round Ambridge, where he is unfortunate enough to be introduced to Eddie. Pip is besotted with Henry, saying "he's got such a smiley face." It's probably just wind, or sheer terror as he sees more and more of his extended family. However, there's worse to come, as Tony, who brought Helen and Henry home from hospital, says of his grandson "he's got my sense of humour". If that's the case, I reckon it would be a kindness to shoot the poor little sod right now. 

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