Saturday, 25 September 2010

Catching Up

Andrew Wincott (Adam Macy)

Hello there – sorry that there have been no postings for a couple of weeks, but we all need a holiday. Luckily, I was back in time to hear most of last week's Omnibus edition, so I have managed to catch up on at least some of the stories.

Firstly, we have happenings at the Bull, where Jolene is in danger of becoming a new Miss Haversham, as Jolene keeps saying "why don't you go upstairs Mum?" Never mind; Harry to the rescue! His "We love the Bull" website practically went viral a few seconds after he created it. Fallon was so pleased that she not only gave Harry a kiss, but put him in charge of arranging guest beers, much to the dismay of Jazzer, whose plaintive cries of "I can help with that" were totally ignored. Watch out Harry, or your lifeless body will be found on the milk round, next to a blood-stained bottle of gold top with Scottish fingerprints on it.

Talking of jealousy, Will isn't happy about Nic's extra hours at the pub. That probably makes around 346 things that Will isn't happy about. When he finds out about Emma's pregnancy, that'll be 347. In the meantime he seems to have developed a new catchphrase, as he keeps saying "what's going on?" every time he appears.

Have you noticed Adam recently? Of course you haven't, as he seems to have become Mr. Elusive; always being talked about, but never heard. As such we get Jennifer saying "Goodbye Adam" as he (presumably) goes off on the Combine, Brian saying "I've just spoken to Adam" and everyone else referring to him in passing. Wherever he's gone, he seems to have taken Ian with him.

What else has happened? The bird hide has been trashed twice – what is Ambridge coming to? First the graffiti, then ecological vandalism; let's hope the police catch up with the culprits before Lynda does, for their sakes.

The BL/market development story panned out as expected, with Matt buying the land needed for access. Nice one Matt; let's hope that, now he has the BL Board's (and, more importantly, Brian's) goolies in the vice, he doesn't forget to keep tightening it. Not that I want to see Lillian on the BL Board and I'm sure they don't – her expense account alone would wipe out the annual profits.

Finally, we have the continuing story of Kathy, Kenton and Jamie. Kenton's moved out to Lower Loxley (bet Elizabeth is delighted!) and, quite frankly, the story is getting on my nerves. Plus, out of the three, I'm not sure who is the worst. Actually, that's a lie, as it has to be Kathy; true, Jamie is a pain and Kenton is a complete prat, but, for sheer, day after day, constant whining and whingeing, it has to be Kathy. Kenton may have moved out, but she still moans at him on the phone. "Jamie needs a dad", she says, then marches off to occupy the moral high ground when Kenton gets thrown in jail for a few hours after leading Nigel astray on a drinking spree. Fortunately (?) it seems that Jamie has adopted Kenton as a role model, as he storms out and gets totally rat-arsed one night. Not surprisingly, he's not up with the lark next morning and super-sleuth Kathy suspects something. "Is that alcohol I can smell?" she asks. Zut alors Inspector! Straight to the truth, as always.

Poor Kenton continued to get an ear-bashing, being told "I want you to act like an adult" and "you should stay there till you grow up". Get real, Kathy; this is Kenton we're talking about – if he stays there till he grows up, then Jamie will be in his dotage.

The Kathy etc story line gave us two memorable quotes. First Jamie flounced out, saying "No-one cares about me." Let's have a show of hands – yep, Jamie, spot on my old son. Then Kathy asked (rhetorically, I assumed) "Am I so terrible to live with?" I'm not even going to ask for a show of hands on this one…

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