Wednesday, 21 July 2010

In Which Izzy Talks Sense

A bit of a reality check for Brenda last week when, instead of attending the AmSide strategy meeting with Matt and Lillian as she assumed, she was put in her place by Lillian who told her to get two coffees, no sugar and hold the biscuits. Brenda had a moanette afterwards to Matt, who said that it would take time for Lillian to come round and uttered the immortal words "trust me". I was instantly reminded of the Jungle Book film, where the snake Kaa sings "Trust in Me" to a hypnotised Mowgli – the fact that it was a snake seems oddly appropriate.

But all was not lost for Bren, who later pulled Lillian's chestnuts out of the fire by finding out about the bridge-widening scheme near where AmSide was thinking of buying a property. Lillian magnanimously suggested that Brenda sat in on the strategy meeting. At this rate, she'll soon be letting Brenda do the washing up.

Pip's (and our) ordeal continues as she mopes about Jude. "At least she's started coming out of her room" said Jill, as if this is something to be welcomed. Are there no six-inch nails anywhere on the farm, for God's sake?

I was impressed with the attitude of Izzy, who gave up her day off to listen to Pip's moans, which reached a crescendo when she found her stuff (shampoo, CD) just tossed aside. A bit like her really. "He didn't care!" Pip wailed. Er, yes, that might explain why he slipped off to the USA without warning. I warmed further to Izzy when she told Pip that it was a good thing that Jude had gone and she never liked him. Let's have more of Izzy's plain speaking – she can always get through life with no friends.

As proof that time is indeed relative, I was gobsmacked to learn that Vicky and Mike are celebrating their first wedding anniversary. Can it only be a year? And while on the subject, what's happened on the veal front? When does veal become beef? If these calves were people, they'd be ready to settle down and start a family by now. Not that I care.

Finally, there was the dagger through the heart of Kate's announcement that she would be coming back for a full year. She wants to see Phoebe who, as Kate told Jennifer, "is on the verge of growing up". Good – watch and learn, Kate, watch and learn. For her part, Jennifer told Brian that "joy was unconfined". Not in my bloody house it wasn't, nor at chez Roy and Hayley either. I reckon Hayley will kill Kate and will only be caught because 327 people will all give her a different alibi. Perhaps we should get Izzy to talk sensibly to Kate and persuade her that she is needed back home in Africa, or in the South American rain forests, or the Hindu Kush, or Antarctica, or – but you get the idea.

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