Saturday, 19 June 2010

So Long Sid

Alan Devereux (Sid Perks) 

Well, poor Sid has left us. Talk about sudden – he didn't even get the dignity of having a tearful final few moments; one minute it's "Sid's so pleased to see Lucy again" and the next it's "We're having the funeral in New Zealand."

So it's farewell to Sid; Brummie ex-wild boy, set on the straight and narrow by Jack Woolley, then mine host and part owner of the pub, fitness fanatic, cricket lover and homophobe and the first person on the Archers to be recorded making love in the shower (and he wasn't even married to Jolene at the time!).

The burning question is "what happens now?" and I have this terrible fear that the scriptwriters, who have been giving full rein to their nasty, sadistic side recently, what with Helen's pregnancy and Kate's threat to return home to Ambridge, have got another vicious twist in store. Ladies and gentlemen, I tell you now that, if it should even look like Wayne were to end up at the Bull in any capacity whatsoever, then I personally will burn the bloody place down. Preferably with him in it.

Sid's funeral arrangements gave Kenton the chance to display his caring side and demonstrate his love and support for Kathy and Jamie – a chance which, to use a football metaphor, he blazed wide of an open goal. On the one hand he had the opportunity to go to New Zealand for Sid's funeral (and, incidentally, see the daughter who he hasn't seen for ages) and on the other, he had to be present for the grand opening of Jaxx's.

With the unerring instinct of someone whose past relationships have all ended in tears, Kenton told Kathy just how much of his life he has put into Jaxx's, how important it was to him and how much it meant to him to be there and welcome everyone when it opened. Just what your life partner wants to hear when she turns to you for support – nice one, Kenton.

I mean, for God's sake, it's a bar, not the Sistine Chapel ceiling. Serves him right if nobody turns up on opening night, although I suppose Jim will be there. That will bring them flocking in – especially if he starts declaiming Caesar's Gallic Wars in Latin.

I can't help thinking that Kenton has cocked this up big time and that noise you hear is his stockpile of brownie points (assuming he ever had any) quickly slipping away. What's the betting that, when Kathy returns, there will be a full and frank discussion? That's always assuming she can get him out of the bar, of course.

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